sickinthemind

Okay, I posted on another forum about his horrifyingly strong crush I have on this guy that I work with, but I want some input on how to interpret his behavior to see if he is attracted to me or not...

Okay, let's see....

One time when we had an issue in another office that might require him to come in in the middle of the night, he told me that he was definately leaving on schedule, no matter what. I asked him if he was serious.

"Come hell or high water, I am out that door at three-thirty."

"Even if I beg?"

Then he said, "Okay, I'll stay, and then when I'm in at three am I'll call you and say, 'Hey, Amanda, what are you up to? Your clock says it's three am? So does mine!"

I told him that I wouldn't mind, and he smiled.

Another time he did someting right and he said, "How does he do it? He's smart, funny, and good-looking too!"

He sometimes watches me, though this may be because he thinks I'll mess something up, and I THINK he might have looked at my chest a couple times. He complains to me about some of our business associates, and I tell him that he's a really funny guy (because he gets so adament about things).

Thing is.... it might be that he's just being friendly to me because we work together. The rumor in the building is that he is gay because he's lived in the area for a few years and doesn't date. I've watched a couple people in our building seek him out to flirt with him, and he ignores them and acts annoyed, but not really to their faces... I can just tell.

Something in our office looks like a flower stem, and this one annoying (and ignores my existence even though it's my office too) chick brought by paper decoractions of flowers, telling me to pass to "John" that they are for him and he'll know that they're for. I just thought she was crazy, but I said sure. When he came back, I prepped my torn and bleeding heart for him to spill that the crazy chick is his true love or something. Instead, he came back from lunch, looked at the pile of cheap colored paper, and asked me what on earth was this for. I told him that somebody brought it over, and said that he would know what it means. He said, "I have no idea..." Then he suddenely remembered, and remarked, sounding annoyed, that it was because she thought that the one thing looked like a flower stem. He then shoved it up on the shelf.

I'll post more of our encounters that I need help interpreting... Thanks for your time!

Mrs. T

OK Sick,
You like him...that's obvious. So...Girl Up and ask him to go have coffee or drinks after work. Then you'll have your answer.

sinnister

My outlook:

1. Don't think he's gay (chest gazing)
2. May NOT be interested (has made no overt flirty moves yet)

ManDup

Is he a nerd? If so, he probably likes you, but won't make the first move.

Married&Confused

some guys are smart enough not to mix dating and work. he may be one of those guys.

WorldsApart

Dipping your pen in the company inkwell rarely turns out well.

BigBadWolf

I agree.

Although I am happily married, and many of the men I work closest with are as well, we have long had the sayings "don't sh!t where you eat" and "no sex where you get your checks".

As well, I do EVERYTHING I can possibly do to discourage the younger men that I work with from pursuing flirtatious women at our work, seeing how badly it most often turns out.

ANd this is everything from simply private man to man conversations all the way to outright withdrawing recommendations for promotions based on their lack of discretion and judgment.

A man becoming involved in some romance drama at work that becomes a distraction or source of professional tension, that can VERY easily be a career killer.

Office and workplace "romances" should not be taken lightly, especially in this economy.

And I have had to straighten out more than one woman as well who trys to drag some relationship drama into our work (not wanting so-and-so in the meeting, or on the project, etc.) What a tremendous waste of time and needless source of workplace tension!

So to Sickinthemind, do not take it personally that some man is not wanting to have a romance with you or even return some flirting. Also I encourage you not to take part in silly rumor milling, the "he's gay" silliness and such.

I assure you, if I worked at your career and I got wind of such rumor milling and gossiping, particularly such petty "meat market" talk, you and/or your friends and anyone else involved in such nonsense would be very likely looking for another job.

Consider he is just a professional and polite gentleman, and has a good head on his shoulders.

So treat him with professionalism.

__________________
Decide what to be, and go be it. -Avett Brothers.

ohsobless

You've it the nail on the head!!! No truer words could not had been spoken (written in this case).