Nah you read too much into it. Men want to be babied by their women. They want to be treated like a prince. They want to be touched, stroked, fed, coddled, caressed. Rolls, biscuits...he's just being cranky because you didn't feed him yet.
I'm so sick of women that ARE interested in sex giving advice to men about how to treat women that ARE NOT interested in sex. I might as well get advice from the old guy on the street corner.
There is a percentage of women out there that have either zero or minimal interest in anything physical and in a lot of cases how they are treated will not change this. I left my ex wife solely over a lack of sex, which at the time she blamed me for, I've since met her (now ex) boyfriend and within weeks of starting a new relationship, bam, no sex for him either.
My current wife is a complete cold frog for about 23 days out of her cycle. Nothing, zip, nada will change this. We honeymooned well after our marriage due to family commitments and it was simply the wrong time of the month, no sex for 9 days on a honeymoon despite obvious opportunity etc. (Her period started on the last morning before we came home) Again though she blames me 100% for this, I should do X Y and Z in order for her to be interested. Oddly enough though around the time she ovulates, none of this matters, she's suddenly more receptive. She still WILL NOT initiate, but simply wont say no and pretends its my job to know when she may be interested.
Without turning this into a small novel, I am tired of women who use some BS excuse to withhold sex and turn it around blaming it all on good men. How many men are expected to take the time to meet their needs, while entirely disregarding their own?
I understand your frustration, but this forum exists for advice. People come here for ideas to solve problems. However, if you have tried everything and nothing works, then I would agree that you may not be able to arouse your wife.
Without turning this into a small novel, I am tired of women who use some BS excuse to withhold sex and turn it around blaming it all on good men. How many men are expected to take the time to meet their needs, while entirely disregarding their own?
That's what they're trying to find out... one transaction at a time.
what about when your wife has very little sex drive to begin with? every time i try to start it up, it's "i'm not in the mood," or "i don't have time right now" or "i'm too tired." we have sex once a month at best, which is usually when she's finally in the mood.
Quote:
Originally Posted by that girl
Men needs sex to feel close. Women need to feel close to have sex.
interesting that you point this out. my wife and i haven't really been close for probably 8 months or so (gradually grew apart). our lack of sex started well before that though.
Zali,
My W is just like you. Took me a while to figure out that taking isn't raping. She likes to be taken. So I take her.
Quote:
Originally Posted by zaliblue
Chillymorn, I am not saying to rape your wife....There is a big difference between raping and taking.....and no....there is no "safe" word required....like i said before know her body language....u can tell if someone is just playing hard to get......maybe you can't...I don't know....Bottom line if she slaps u across the face then don't keep going....we must use some common sense when doing these things....i am sorry if i made anyone mad by trying to help.....my post does not and did not apply to people with deeper marital problems....it was directed to shy, unconfident me who were not aware of what their woman wants....i am speaking from my personal opinion of what I like in bed....not all women are the same....but I was just informing everyone that a lot of women like this....Someone mentioned that there must be some type of desire....and that is true....but some women do not know how to display this and need their partner to step up....everything that i have said is meant to help....not offend anyone as it seems i have done.
MEM,
Glad to hear i'm not alone....i love how the men who arent getting any on here get offended because i TRIED to give a little personal advise....it's like i get jumped on because i was just giving tips....it's not my fault if your wife wont put out lol....it sucks...but my advice is to leave her...sorry...sounds harsh....but she's not having sex with you because she either doesn't like you very much or just is not attracted to you....women arent these nice creatures....we're just nicer than men....if we dont want to *** you we say it in a nice way...we blame it on ourselves...."oh sorry hunny, im not in the mood"...."oh i have a headache"...."you know i just dont have a sex drive....not my fault"....these are all just nice ways to say "i don't want to have sex with you"....sorry that some of u guys have to go through that...but please don't be bitter towards me for trying to help those men that CAN salvage their sex lives....
I'm so sick of women that ARE interested in sex giving advice to men about how to treat women that ARE NOT interested in sex. I might as well get advice from the old guy on the street corner.
There is a percentage of women out there that have either zero or minimal interest in anything physical and in a lot of cases how they are treated will not change this. I left my ex wife solely over a lack of sex, which at the time she blamed me for, I've since met her (now ex) boyfriend and within weeks of starting a new relationship, bam, no sex for him either.
My current wife is a complete cold frog for about 23 days out of her cycle. Nothing, zip, nada will change this. We honeymooned well after our marriage due to family commitments and it was simply the wrong time of the month, no sex for 9 days on a honeymoon despite obvious opportunity etc. (Her period started on the last morning before we came home) Again though she blames me 100% for this, I should do X Y and Z in order for her to be interested. Oddly enough though around the time she ovulates, none of this matters, she's suddenly more receptive. She still WILL NOT initiate, but simply wont say no and pretends its my job to know when she may be interested.
Without turning this into a small novel, I am tired of women who use some BS excuse to withhold sex and turn it around blaming it all on good men. How many men are expected to take the time to meet their needs, while entirely disregarding their own?
I think this goes both ways, for women as well as men. I hate being asked for sex let alone having sex demanded. I prefer the missus putting her moves on me and playing the game with me. I personally never ask for sex, seems awkward to me too.
this is how we are too. we know each other's signal. he might playfully say something like "ima get in it all night tonight" or ill say something like "DONT be tired tonight" with a look. but we dont ask. He has nerver asked for a blowjob either, he will tell me when he wants one, which he does in a variety of ways, not just verbally
this is how we are too. we know each other's signal. he might playfully say something like "ima get in it all night tonight" or ill say something like "DONT be tired tonight" with a look. but we dont ask. He has nerver asked for a blowjob either, he will tell me when he wants one, which he does in a variety of ways, not just verbally
I'm struggling to think of a time I "wouldn't" want one.
I'm so sick of women that ARE interested in sex giving advice to men about how to treat women that ARE NOT interested in sex. I might as well get advice from the old guy on the street corner.
There is a percentage of women out there that have either zero or minimal interest in anything physical and in a lot of cases how they are treated will not change this. I left my ex wife solely over a lack of sex, which at the time she blamed me for, I've since met her (now ex) boyfriend and within weeks of starting a new relationship, bam, no sex for him either.
My current wife is a complete cold frog for about 23 days out of her cycle. Nothing, zip, nada will change this. We honeymooned well after our marriage due to family commitments and it was simply the wrong time of the month, no sex for 9 days on a honeymoon despite obvious opportunity etc. (Her period started on the last morning before we came home) Again though she blames me 100% for this, I should do X Y and Z in order for her to be interested. Oddly enough though around the time she ovulates, none of this matters, she's suddenly more receptive. She still WILL NOT initiate, but simply wont say no and pretends its my job to know when she may be interested.
Without turning this into a small novel, I am tired of women who use some BS excuse to withhold sex and turn it around blaming it all on good men. How many men are expected to take the time to meet their needs, while entirely disregarding their own?
women dont have sex because........they dont want to. each of us must take responsibility for our contribution to the ill health of our marriage. sex is a normal healthy necessary part of many marriages and it is not unreasonable to expect your marriage to include sex as well. Im sure this is not a secret to her. She needs to find out the real reason she wont have sex. If it was you doing more chores and your did more chores as she asked and you were still assedout, then thats not it and she isnt being honest with herself or you.
I wouldnt tolerate not having sex barring illness that prevents it.
So, I have been a part of this group for a few months....however I hardly ever post...I usually just read what everyone else is writing....because there are A LOT of threads on here lol....Anyway...I see that a lot of guys are having problems getting their lady to "put out"....and I actually have a friend that is in a very similar situation with his wife....Now...I don't know about you guys, but my friend is a really nice guy....never wants to step on anyone's toes and seems like he walks on eggshells around his wife....He ask for advice from my husband and I because he knows that we still, after being together for 8 years, have a bangin sex life....not to mention that we also have 2 kids....and we still manage every night sex....Anyway....back to the topic....his wife complains that she has no sex drive...and him being a guy who is very deprived has a very large one....My advice to him is that he stop being a wimp....sorry guys....but this is true....Instead of saying "hey baby, you want to have sex".....just put the moves on her....be forceful....be a freakin MAN! I am not saying rape your wife, but the one thing that we like to do is be "taken"....I do not want my husband to ask me if we can have sex.....or ask me to go down on him....i want him to do what he wants....asking and planning is awkward to me.....two people in love should not plan sex....it should just happen....and another top....I am hard core woman ok....I don't like sexist or being told that I am not equal to a man...and that my place is in the kitchen....However....in the bedroom it is a different story.....I may be a little bit of a control freak....but in the bedroom I want to be put in my place...lol....and I feel that a lot of women are the same....My friend said that he tried what we told him and that he and his wife ended up having sex on the living room floor....I know that some of you have wives that just do not want sex period....and to me, this is a problem that is deeper than sex.....but some men just have wives that are just waiting for you to man up and take control....Ok, so I am finished writing about this and I am sorry if I have offended anyone....but I just hope that maybe I have helped too
My husband should have done more of this when we were younger, I always had a good sex drive, but he was too respectful, too polite and never wanted to push boundaries. We missed each for years over these things. It was a rediculous situation. I did a thread on it but deleted it recently, TMI. Our situation was clearly not the norm.
BUt I agree with you, many women may get turned on by simply...."being taken" your man showing how much he wants you with heated "action", no need for words , unless they are of the teasing /flirting type. Sure, it is taking a risk to put yourself out there, but unless you find her denying you, it needs to be tried and pursued . If she enjoys sex, this will likely be the ticket to her arousal.
If not, that is a different story entriely and I feel for these men.
BUt I agree with you, many women may get turned on by simply...."being taken" your man showing how much he wants you with heated "action", no need for words , unless they are of the teasing /flirting type. Sure, it is taking a risk to put yourself out there, but unless you find her denying you, it needs to be tried and pursued . If she enjoys sex, this will likely be the ticket to her arousal.
In the words of the inestimable Mae West: "It's not the men in my life, it's the life in my men."
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Re: Just a woman's point of view on sex.... 
