So, I have been a part of this group for a few months....however I hardly ever post...I usually just read what everyone else is writing....because there are A LOT of threads on here lol....Anyway...I see that a lot of guys are having problems getting their lady to "put out"....and I actually have a friend that is in a very similar situation with his wife....Now...I don't know about you guys, but my friend is a really nice guy....never wants to step on anyone's toes and seems like he walks on eggshells around his wife....He ask for advice from my husband and I because he knows that we still, after being together for 8 years, have a bangin sex life....not to mention that we also have 2 kids....and we still manage every night sex....Anyway....back to the topic....his wife complains that she has no sex drive...and him being a guy who is very deprived has a very large one....My advice to him is that he stop being a wimp....sorry guys....but this is true....Instead of saying "hey baby, you want to have sex".....just put the moves on her....be forceful....be a freakin MAN! I am not saying rape your wife, but the one thing that we like to do is be "taken"....I do not want my husband to ask me if we can have sex.....or ask me to go down on him....i want him to do what he wants....asking and planning is awkward to me.....two people in love should not plan sex....it should just happen....and another top....I am hard core woman ok....I don't like sexist or being told that I am not equal to a man...and that my place is in the kitchen....However....in the bedroom it is a different story.....I may be a little bit of a control freak....but in the bedroom I want to be put in my place...lol....and I feel that a lot of women are the same....My friend said that he tried what we told him and that he and his wife ended up having sex on the living room floor....I know that some of you have wives that just do not want sex period....and to me, this is a problem that is deeper than sex.....but some men just have wives that are just waiting for you to man up and take control....Ok, so I am finished writing about this and I am sorry if I have offended anyone....but I just hope that maybe I have helped too
I think the key is to know YOUR woman, cuz every woman is really going to be different and not necessarily fit into a specific mold. Now, nobody said that getting to know your woman was going to be easy, though.
once you get to know your woman, you'll think she likes you to take charge. Then she'll change her mind and want you to be soft and lovey. then she'll want to be the aggressive one. then she'll want...oh...well...you get the idea.
For a woman, once she gets to know her man...she knows her man.
don't put all men in that catogory.
men like things to be interesting also at least I do.
in other words most women are lazy lovers?
they do as little as possible to please their men sexually?
My point was, most men know what they like and know what they want..and they tend to communicate that. Women,many(not all) tend to not really know what they like and they don't seem very good at talking about it either.
Men and women can be lazy lovers. depends on the person i guess.
In my experience of listening to women talk, there are a LOT that do as little as possible to please their men sexually...but that wasn't what I was getting at in my post.
now your post make more sence to me. thanks for clarifing
Nobody should be lazy in sex....and im not saying that the man should initiate sex every time....im just saying that instead of being a nice respectful guy all of the time.....learn to take what you want....women love confidence.....or at least i do....i know that i can't speak for all women.....but my friends and i are pretty much all on the same page....i know women are complicated creatures......and i feel bad for u guys...i really do....someone wrote that one day the wife wants kinky, the next sweet....and it's hard for u guys to read which one she wants....this is where u have to learn how to read her body language....my hubby knows what i want....and i know what he wants....when he wants to be kinky...he kisses me a certain way and moves a certain way and i know what his body is saying to me....when he is in the "love-making" mood, he is softer....looks into my eyes deeply and kisses me sweetly.....i can just tell....and u guys need to learn that as well.....words, in my opinion, ruin the moment.....my husband can tell me he wants head without saying a word.....it's all about knowing your partner....their body....oh and another thing....a lot of guys expect their woman to put out when they treat her like crap....thats not how it works.....an unhappy wife is not worried about making you happy.....you can't be a **** until you decide you want some and start being nice...women aren't stupid....we can detect the mood change lol....
Syrum....I am with you 100% however....i tend to initiate sex a lot.....i think that the reason that i am soooo sexual is because i have anxiety issues....i know that it sounds stupid....but whenever i feel a panic attack coming on i jump on hubby lol....it definitely takes my mind off of what has me on edge.....he is a great lover and i know that if i initiate i won't be sorry lol....and FRUSTR8DHUBBY.....I am so sorry that your wife has cut you off completely.....i think that sometimes women forget just how sensitive a man can be......i can not imagine being denied sex....what it would do to my self esteem.....how much my feelings would be hurt....your wife needs to wake up and realize what she is doing to you....guys have feelings too.....and i think that some women just think when you turn your hubby down he's just mad because he isn't getting any...but it's more than that....she should be happy that u want her and that u arent out finding someone else....i am a christain....and i believe in being faithful....but as horrible as this sounds of me to say.....i can see why some people cheat on their spouses....i know that you took a vow to be faithful....but she also took a vow to love and cherish....and to me....that includes sex....i'm not saying to cheat on your wife....i hope that u guys can figure something out....but to me it sounds like you have issues that are deeper than just sex....
Thanks but actually we don't. We have a pretty great marriage and she hasn't cut me off entirely she just has ZERO drive. And actually I think the quantity of sex is less of an issue for me than the total lack of desire for me.
this idea of just taking your wife only works if she has desire for you in the first place.
and quite frankly. it sounds a lot like rape.
I'd be carefull advising men to just take their wife sexually.
do you have some sort of safe word in case you really don't want to have sex.
I don't ask for sex, but I listen to the signals. A yawn makes the point adequately. Or maybe talking about what color to paint the walls. Or the best one, "I started". Anything more obvious just makes it feel like some sort of contractual negotiation taking place.
now when you see she is giving some signals like she would be receptive to some action then I say go for it but you better be sure and women have been known to change their minds at the drop of a hat or shoe left in the middle of the floor.