Is it Unreasonable... - Page 2 - Talk About Marriage
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post #16 of 22 (permalink) Old 03-19-2016, 10:19 AM
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Re: Is it Unreasonable...

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Originally Posted by heartsbeating View Post
We text or phone each other when we're heading home. Calendars are synced for easier planning.
We'll usually only text if we are off schedule or something unexpected comes up. No calendar syncing (not many events) but we do use the "Find My Friends" app for GPS location sharing.



Sigh, my wife gives me the speaking treatment.
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post #17 of 22 (permalink) Old 03-20-2016, 03:11 PM
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Re: Is it Unreasonable...

Yes, definitely courteous to do so. And if plans change midstream, just text your SO that you're going somewhere else.
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post #18 of 22 (permalink) Old 03-20-2016, 03:18 PM
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Re: Is it Unreasonable...

In the early days of being married, and before the existence of cell phones, Mr. IMFAR and I were both in college. As a single person, I was used to coming and going and not having to tell anyone. One afternoon I went somewhere and didn't come home until late, not realizing that I had someone waiting for me at home who might actually care that I was not home, or that they didn't know where I was, or when I was coming home.

When I walked in the door, he looked at me and said nonchalantly, "Do you live here?" We proceeded to talk about the need to let each other know where we were and how long we would be gone.

From that moment on I let him know that I was going somewhere and when I expected to be back. He did the same for me.

Yes, it is just common courtesy to let the spouse know what you are doing, who with, where you will be, and when you'll be back.
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post #19 of 22 (permalink) Old 03-20-2016, 05:15 PM
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Re: Is it Unreasonable...

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Originally Posted by CharlieParker View Post
We'll usually only text if we are off schedule or something unexpected comes up. No calendar syncing (not many events) but we do use the "Find My Friends" app for GPS location sharing.
That makes sense. We text or phone as we're leaving I think simply because we want to be in touch with each other. At least that's my perspective. And partly safety and courtesy. If we haven't heard from one another, after a time, we will check in.

My husband was at training the other week. I hadn't received his 'see you soon' text but gave it some time, carried on with my evening. Time started bordering out of the ordinary. I went to my phone to check in with him and saw his missed call and texts from 15 minutes prior. His car wouldn't start and he was stranded. There's no cabs around here. He was considering walking. I jumped into my car, wearing pajamas, and picked him up. He got his car sorted the next day.

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post #20 of 22 (permalink) Old 03-23-2016, 06:57 PM
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Re: Is it Unreasonable...

It would be UNthinkable for myself or husband to not share these things.. it's just a natural outflow ... we want to share ...keeping each other informed or our whereabouts.. the when's .. with who.... he is a part of my life.. we are a team..

We often tell stories of those we've been around..what was spoken about.... it's just our way.. it also brings many entertaining conversations too.

My husband can't sleep when I am out late .. let's say with some friends.. it's a rare thing.. but I've always found that kinda amusing.. then as soon as I get in.. he can go to sleep. If he is away for work.. he'll call me in the am... and we'll facebook pm each other later in the day.. again.. just to hear the low down.. and connect. It's comforting.
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post #21 of 22 (permalink) Old 03-24-2016, 02:38 PM
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Re: Is it Unreasonable...

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I was born in Southern California but, I find my beliefs and values seem to be out of step with the commonly accepted standards of acceptability. Maybe I need to find a more wholesome, religious-oriented partner.
Common courtesy and respect for your partner has nothing to do with being wholesome or religious.

I'm atheist but I wouldn't dream of just going out without letting my wife know where and when I'd be back, after seeing if she could join us of course.
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post #22 of 22 (permalink) Old 11-18-2016, 12:05 PM
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Re: Is it Unreasonable...

From reading your previous posts there seems to be a big disconnect on what you think is appropriate and how you want to live vs what your wife thinks and wants to live. Some coming on here to get validation on what you think is reasonable is silly because many people will agree with you and many people won't, all which don't matter. What matters is what your wife thinks. It seems you need to have a sit down and hash out some of these difference like adults. This is all about expectations, and when your wife doesn't meet yours you get upset. Does your wife agree with these expectations? You need to sit down with her and hash out your differences and come to a agreement on things you aren't happy with.
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