Did you grow up thinking that only having intercourse with another woman was cheating - Talk About Marriage
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post #1 of 71 (permalink) Old 05-07-2016, 12:57 PM Thread Starter
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Did you grow up thinking that only having intercourse with another woman was cheating

My husband told me that he thought only having intercourse with another woman is cheating. I guess hand jobs and BJ's are fair game in his eyes!

I was mortified that he even thought this way. Is this a common thought among men? I hope it isn't.

Last edited by Susie42; 05-07-2016 at 04:56 PM.
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post #2 of 71 (permalink) Old 05-07-2016, 01:05 PM
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Re: Did you grow up thinking that only having intercourse with another woman was chea

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My husband told me that he thought only having intercourse with another woman is cheating. I guess hand jobs and bj's are fair game in his eyes!

I was mortified that he even thought this way. Is this a common thought among men? I hope it isnt.

I'm a God fearing man but I'm also a horn dawg HD and I make no excuses for that.

Even lusting over another woman while married is considered adultery and I'm guilty on that a million times over.

Any sex with another woman or man, while married is adultery. Whether its oral sex, BJ, anal, breast job, foot and hand jobs, its all sex with someone else and not your hubby or wife.

If a hubby or wife like more adventurous sex, their other half is to take care of their needs. So if hubby loves BJ's, then his wife gives BJ's. If the wife loves oral to orgasm, then the hubby gives her oral to orgasm. Doesn't matter what it really is.

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post #3 of 71 (permalink) Old 05-07-2016, 01:09 PM
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Re: Did you grow up thinking that only having intercourse with another woman was chea

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My husband told me that he thought only having intercourse with another woman is cheating. I guess hand jobs and bj's are fair game in his eyes!

I was mortified that he even thought this way. Is this a common thought among men? I hope it isnt.
Yes, a lot of guys, and some Presidents, feel that way.

Make sure you CLEARLY tell him what YOU think, so that he has absolutely no doubt what you consider marriage ending cheating.

I would also very strongly suggest to you that he educate him as to what is an "emotional affair". Most guys do not get it.

If you do not know what an EA is, let us know and we will explain it to you.
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post #4 of 71 (permalink) Old 05-07-2016, 01:27 PM
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Re: Did you grow up thinking that only having intercourse with another woman was chea

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My husband told me that he thought only having intercourse with another woman is cheating. I guess hand jobs and bj's are fair game in his eyes!

I was mortified that he even thought this way. Is this a common thought among men? I hope it isnt.

I find the definition of sex to be interesting, particularly if put in different context. For instance, if you were to ask a wife/girlfriend or husband/boyfriend if they had sex with a particular person before they met you, they would tell you "no" if it wasn't intercourse. And I think most everyone would accept that as not sex.

Sex in that context is almost always defined as intercourse.

However, once you get married, the definition of sex becomes considerably broadened. Many things, not just intercourse, are considered sex. It's interesting how the definition gets changed. Either a BJ or HJ is sex or it isn't. Being married or engaged shouldn't change the definition, should it, but it seems to.
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post #5 of 71 (permalink) Old 05-07-2016, 01:33 PM
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Re: Did you grow up thinking that only having intercourse with another woman was chea

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My husband told me that he thought only having intercourse with another woman is cheating. I guess hand jobs and bj's are fair game in his eyes!

I was mortified that he even thought this way. Is this a common thought among men? I hope it isnt.
No, he's wrong Susie. It's ridiculous...
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post #6 of 71 (permalink) Old 05-07-2016, 01:46 PM
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Re: Did you grow up thinking that only having intercourse with another woman was chea

It's cheating if you have any physical contact in a sexually provocative way. A kiss is cheating. To a certain extent, rubbing someone else's shoulders is on the fence, like, if you were popping a woody and went home and rubbed it out. Well, maybe not that since she may not even know, but like, if she was deeply panting while you were doing it. Or like, maybe if you had her foot, and started licking the toes, maybe while you had your hand in your pants. Or if she started to run your chest with butter and then used some bread to sop it up and ate it, and you went into the bathroom to clean the pipes...yeah, all of that is cheating.
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post #7 of 71 (permalink) Old 05-07-2016, 02:01 PM
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Re: Did you grow up thinking that only having intercourse with another woman was chea

That's ridiculous.

The rule should be "If you wouldn't want anyone else to know what you are doing with another person, it is cheating."

Always remember the LD motto: "Sex isn't important!!!"
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post #8 of 71 (permalink) Old 05-07-2016, 02:06 PM
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Re: Did you grow up thinking that only having intercourse with another woman was chea

He is trying to pull one over on you.

Stop complaining about what you don't have...start enjoying what you do have.
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post #9 of 71 (permalink) Old 05-07-2016, 02:19 PM
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Re: Did you grow up thinking that only having intercourse with another woman was chea

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Originally Posted by Susie42 View Post
My husband told me that he thought only having intercourse with another woman is cheating. I guess hand jobs and bj's are fair game in his eyes!

I was mortified that he even thought this way. Is this a common thought among men? I hope it isnt.
Nope.

Your husband is full of sh*t and he knows it.
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post #10 of 71 (permalink) Old 05-07-2016, 02:20 PM
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Re: Did you grow up thinking that only having intercourse with another woman was chea

Cheating is giving any part of yourself to someone other than your spouse. If you need to look for a loophole, then you're cheating.

I once worked with a guy, who every time his wife went out of town on business, he would be drunk in a bar making out with and fondling another woman and insisting "no penetration" so no cheating. No surprise they are divorced now.
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post #11 of 71 (permalink) Old 05-07-2016, 02:33 PM
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Re: Did you grow up thinking that only having intercourse with another woman was chea

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If a hubby or wife like more adventurous sex, their other half is to take care of their needs. So if hubby loves BJ's, then his wife gives BJ's. If the wife loves oral to orgasm, then the hubby gives her oral to orgasm. Doesn't matter what it really is.
Yeah, it kind of does matter what it is. Being married doesn't suddenly mean the other person stops being a person with their own individual tastes, wants, and desires. When you start thinking about sex as something you "give" to someone else, there's already an issue. It's meant to be mutually enjoyable experience.

You should talk about this before you get married.
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post #12 of 71 (permalink) Old 05-07-2016, 02:44 PM
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Re: Did you grow up thinking that only having intercourse with another woman was chea

Hi Susie, yes these other things are cheating.
Hey guys if a guy goes to a strip club is that considered cheating?


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post #13 of 71 (permalink) Old 05-07-2016, 02:49 PM
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Re: Did you grow up thinking that only having intercourse with another woman was chea

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Originally Posted by Susie42 View Post
My husband told me that he thought only having intercourse with another woman is cheating. I guess hand jobs and bj's are fair game in his eyes!

I was mortified that he even thought this way. Is this a common thought among men? I hope it isnt.
Then I guess that means if you give another man a BJ, he'll be cool with it. lol
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post #14 of 71 (permalink) Old 05-07-2016, 04:57 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Did you grow up thinking that only having intercourse with another woman was chea

Thank God that not ALL men think like this. Seriously, I couldn't believe it when my husband said that to me.
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post #15 of 71 (permalink) Old 05-07-2016, 04:57 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Did you grow up thinking that only having intercourse with another woman was chea

I think my husband already had a EA years ago

Last edited by Susie42; 05-07-2016 at 05:11 PM.
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