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"Blown Off" Radio Segment, WTF Were They Thinking???

9K views 76 replies 21 participants last post by  tech-novelist 
#1 ·
On my drive to work in the morning the radio station I listen to has a "Blown Off" segment. The quick & dirty, two go out, one person (the caller to the radio station) thought the date went great but the other person went ghost. The radio station steps in to contact the "ghost" and figure out what happened, hoping it was just a mis understanding (maybe the person had a family death, lost their phone, was abducted by aliens, became a mod at TAM, etc...). Figured I would use this thread to share some of the "stupider" calls >:)

Alright, so today, female calls up. She met this guy at a bar (wasn't even a date) and they had an instant connection. She made it clear to him that she is NOT INTO ONS, she is not that kind of girl. He agreed, said he was the same. So naturally what happens next, she goes back to his place and they sleep together. Since then he went ghost.

So now she calls the radio station, keeps emphasizing how she does not do ONS, how she slept with this guy and it felt like the beginning of a relationship, etc... They get this guy on the phone, he says how they just met at a bar, everything was going well and just went with it, she knew what she was doing. She goes right for the victim card, he is a liar, how dare he use her, she knows where he lives so he will regret doing this to her, etc... lol

Summary, gal does not do ONS, claims she is not that kind of girl, meets a guy at a bar, goes back to his place and sleeps with him, talks about how magical it was and how it felt like the beginning of a relationship, continues to claim she is not that kind of girl :confused: :confused: :confused: Seriously, just admit you were full of $h1t, made a mistake, and learn from it. Instead, she is threatening this guy and my guess now going around saying all guys are dogs when she had complete control over the situation and her pants staying on ...
 
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#2 ·
Sounds like they are both dealing with shame.
 
#3 ·
No, he seemed ok with it lol, no shame at all as in his view he met a girl at a bar who went to his place willing to sleep with him. To deal with her shame, she turned it around into playing the victim card.
 
#4 ·
He said he was the same, not into ONS.

Or was he lying?
 
#5 ·
I'd imagine he was telling the truth, and not really one to have a ONS. The difference between he and the woman is that he was mature enough to chalk it up as a lesson, take responsibility for his own decision, and not blame her. She is just as culpable in this as he is.
 
#8 ·
This is known as "ASD", for "anti-**** defense". Almost no girl wants to be known as "that kind of girl", so virtually every girl will say "I don't do things like that." The correct answer for a player is "I don't either", followed by continuing whatever was going on.

A girl who really isn't into ONS doesn't sleep with a guy the first night she meets him.
 
#75 ·
So obvious!

What was the hurry on her part?

She IS into ONS's, does not want to admit it. She told him [this] hoping that HE WOULD NOT push the ONS issue. She is weak, knows it and relied on HIS honor [restraint?] to keep her virtuous.

She is fighting herself, her own demons and moral contradictions. Again, she is weak. She is having [issues] over hard moral issues with her existing soft moral eschews. No typo.

She obviously cannot re-strain herself, re-train herself, re-frain herself.

She should be angry at herself. She cannot do that because she does not either: know herself, accept herself.

Yes, part of her wants to change. It will change when she gets a spine.

Blaming HIM [men] is the biggest part of her problem.

There ARE nice guys out there who would listen to her Spoken Words, not her Body Words. The Bar Dude was not one of them.
 
#11 ·
So, she meets a guy in a bar, claims she never does ONS, goes back to his place, has a ONS with him, then is shocked when she never hears from him again. Then, to compound it all, instead of quietly learning her lesson, she contacts a radio station to let them know about it...?!?!

She doesn't sound like altogether the sharpest tool in the shed, does she? I have to wonder if the radio station is passing off fiction as fact.
Maybe she believed the man? Did not realize he could be lying to her?
 
#15 ·
Like I said - not the sharpest tool in the shed...lol..

Even if she was so gullible as to believe him - wouldn't she at some point realize that sex was imminent? What did she think was going to happen when she took off her clothes with a guy she just met?
Maybe she did not know. Maybe she trusted him.
 
#16 · (Edited by Moderator)
#18 · (Edited by Moderator)
Are you just playing with me jld? Was there ever a time in your life when you'd have that kind of trust?
Of course. Were we not all young and naive once? Did you always know everything you know now, Olivia?
 
#20 · (Edited by Moderator)
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#23 ·
#27 ·
Obviously she does do ONS, but doesn't like it when it ends at that. Come on, she was hooking up in a bar! It wasn't even a date, and she jumps into bed with him. If she isn't that kind of girl, she'd have at least waited for a real date or two. And maybe he does ONS, or maybe he prefers not to, but could tell that this girl was bad news, and decided to cut his losses there.
 
#29 ·
After he lied to her and got what he wanted.
 
#48 ·
I've been on both sides of this. So what I think is most likely true is that they are most likely both at fault here.

I've been the guy who would say just about anything to get in a girl's pants. Not commit to a relationship, but think that it's possible. And actually believed it. And then the night gets away from you and you make a move and then you're naked... And it's 'meh.' And then you have to deal with the fact that you kind of led her on and after you had sex with her, you weren't interested in her any more.

And if that's what happened, he was kind of a **** for leading her on to believe it was something it ultimately wasn't, and she was kind of a ***** for thinking that having sex means you're in a relationship because that's not true, either.

I've also been straight up with a girl about 'I want to have sex with you but I don't want you to think that means we're in a relationship." And then you do, and it's great, but you don't want to be in a relationship. And the girl flips out about "why didn't you call me" and even goes around telling other people that you promised you were together when you made it abundantly clear that you weren't. And that's on her, and also happens.

But I've also been the guy to chase a girl and have it go great and you end up having sex the first night and you want it to be more... And she doesn't. And that hurts because she got to test run you, and she passed on you. And can feel like a violation, and sometimes people act out on that.

I guess what I'm saying is that if you're not ready to confront the fact that the vast majority of romantic relationships you will have will end, until one doesn't... And can't deal with sex being part of that... Don't go there.
 
#51 ·
OK, here are the two segments I heard yesterday and today:

#1: Female goes on 2 dates with male. Second date he stays over her place (nookie time) and went to breakfast the following morning. After that he goes ghost. So naturally, first thought is he got some booty and moved on. Radio station gets him on the phone, he enjoyed the time with Female BUT after breakfast she told him that she loved him. He was nowhere near feeling that for her, he thought they were just having fun and getting to know each other, so that scared him off. On the radio she insisted that she was in fact in love with him, but don't think that lead to another date...

#2: Male takes female out to lunch and then museum after (said he did the afternoon/daylight thing because he had some things to take care of at night). He had a great time, thought she did, but she won't return his calls/texts. Radio gets her on the phone, she says he basically rushed her the entire date. When they ordered lunch he was already asking for the check, at the museum every time she stopped to observe the displays he rushed her along. The guy finally chimes in, didn't see what the big deal was as museums are boring, but finally reveals part of the rush was because he had another date lined up later in the day lol. He didn't really like that female which is why he was following up with this one ... Needless to say, there won't be another date.

IDK, this whole adult dating thing is a head scratcher lol. I met my W in college so needless to say I never really had to deal with any of this stuff.
 
#52 ·
Yeah the whole adult dating world can be very daunting. There seem to be a whole lot of damaged folks trying to date. And then there are the ones who were crazy and/or asshats before they sustained whatever damage has accumulated over their personal relationship history. A lot of people just behave badly. In my admittedly brief experience, it helps if you're very self-aware, read other people well, and have excellent personal boundaries. So, know what you want and what you absolutely don't, pay attention to the reality of the people you meet instead of the fantasy you want to see, and be willing to move on without looking back if there's any weirdness you're iffy about.

It helps a whole lot if you're emotionally healthy and not afraid of being alone. A lot of the people in the dating world are neither of those things.
 
#54 ·
Funny, with today's call two people met on Tinder. Gal doesn't call guy back after date. According to the Gal, the guy lied on his profile. He stated he was 5'9" but when they met she believed he was closer to 5'6". She is 5'10" so height is a big deal to her, and according to her if his profile had been accurate she would have never agreed to go out in the first place. Probably not a great sign when someone you meet has already lied ... He tried to play it off as if he is closer to 5'9" but then even said he thought that once she met him she would like him so much that the height would be a non issue.

I always wonder what the motivation is to lie on social media dating sites (stats, using old pictures, etc..) if the goal is to eventually meet people in person :confused:
 
#55 ·
Several of the gentlemen I met doing online dating had "rounded up" on their stated height by at least a couple inches. I actually don't care all that much about height, but I'm nearly 5'9" myself, so I'm going to notice if a guy is a couple inches shorter than his stated 5'10".

One man I had a first date with lied about the number of children he had. A couple of them lied about being single. :rolleyes:
 
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#64 ·
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Alright, so here is an interesting one that I think fits in well with some of the threads here at TAM:

Guy (lets call him Arbitrator) goes out with Gal (lets call her Blondilocks) on two dates. First date they meet up for drinks, it goes well enough they agree to go have dinner as a second date. After second date Blondilocks goes ghost on Arbitrator, so he calls radio station to get answers b/c he thought the date were just magical. They get Blondilocks on the phone and her two main issues for not calling back after the second date:

1) Arbitrator took her to Qdoba (I guess comparable to a Chipolte) for their second date. Why would he take her to basically a fast food restaurant on their second date????

2) After they ordered their food and got to the register, he told her that she needed to pay. He paid for drinks the first date so he felt it was her turn to pay. She did pay but had a real issue with this.

So ... thoughts, is Blondilocks justified???? The whole paying thing is interesting because you hear/read more and more about how women can/want to pay their own way, but this isn't the first time I have heard of a female getting offended that they were expected to pay, so seems like a bit of a mixed message out there.
 
#65 ·
Of course she ghosted him. Arbitrator is cheap.

You say that Arbitrator "took" her to Qdoba. So he asked. He should expect to pay. It would be nice if she offered to pay or pay half, but he should be prepared to pay. If he's got a problem with this then don't date her again.

And going to Qdoba for a dinner date is really, really weak.
 
#67 ·
Sounds like he was just trying to get a free meal.

If you did the asking you do the paying.

The morning show I listen to has the same skit. Can be pretty comical.

People are crazy.

Nearly every episode ends with each saying "I've had better", "I've had bigger", etc.
 
#68 ·
Hmmm ... so this is the call from this morning ... would be interested to hear thoughts, especially for those who are single with children:

Gal and Dude go out. She has a 5yr old kid which he is cool with (they actually met via the kid, I think in the grocery store parking lot the kid was putting back the shopping cart and slammed into the guy). According to her, the date was awesome. After dinner they went back to her place, he seemed really comfortable around her child, she hasn't heard back from him in 2 weeks. Radio station get guy on phone, and his issue was ...

He thought date went great, went back to her place, and she wanted to go to her bedroom for some adult festivities. His problem, her 5yr old son was asleep in the next room over (as he put it, the headboard to her bed was actually up against the wall where her son's room was). On top of that, walking into her room he stepped on Thomas trains on the floor. Basically, it was a mood killer, and he thought a bit inappropriate given the situation and them just meeting (didn't have issues in general with the idea of sex, just that she seemed ok with it with her son the room over). She was fine with as she stated her son had been asleep for 30 minutes and is a heavy sleeper, so he would never hear anything ...

Alright, so I guess questions/thoughts:

- In general, would you want to have a stranger interacting with your child (i.e. this being a first date)?

- I am sure there will be opinions in general on having sex on the first date, but how about having sex on the first date with your child sleeping next door? If she is bringing guys home to have sex with on the first date, with her kid there, in general would that raise a red flag?
 
#69 ·
Sounds greatly like that both of them just "hedonistically" needed a piece of "trim" so badly, that the element of ONS's or even "shame" itself, simply wasn't a part of the equation!
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