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Old 11-13-2011, 05:43 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Guy feelings

What are guy feelings towards a relationship? I'd really like to believe that men develop feelings towards the woman they are with just the same as the woman does for the man, but because I have never had a guy have true, genuine feelings for me, I'm a bit skeptical that men have these feelings. My ex husband never had true feelings for me because of his narcissism. I am now seeing a new guy, it's been about a month now but he's never once referred to me as his girlfriend. He's called me "the girl he's dating" but I've not earned title of girlfriend yet. So, at what point do men develop feelings for a girl? I mean real, genuine feelings. How do I even know if he has feelings for me?
I want to know if men feel that butterfly in the stomach feeling when they think about her, do men find her on their mind every moment of every day? Do men feel happy when she calls or texts or just smiles at you on FB? Do men wonder what she's doing when they're not together? Do men talk about her to their friends?
Do guys really have true, genuine feelings towards a girl, or is it all some sort of sick act?
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Old 11-13-2011, 05:52 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: Guy feelings

In the month you've been together, what have the two of you been doing for you to consider it a committed relationship? (no gory details please)
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Old 11-13-2011, 06:14 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: Guy feelings

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Originally Posted by morituri View Post
In the month you've been together, what have the two of you been doing for you to consider it a committed relationship? (no gory details please)
ha ha, no gory details, Mori I don't at this point consider it a committed relationship. I simply want to know what a male POV is. When and how does a man develop feelings for a woman? What does a man typically do when he does have feelings towards a woman?
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Old 11-13-2011, 06:49 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: Guy feelings

I cannot speak for other men only myself. In my case I think it was when the women I was dating (my first wife (deceased RIP), my ex-wife and my GF) expressed kindness and empathy towards others which showed me that their beauty was more than skin deep. Their goodness brought forth in me an extreme desire to protect them which later became love. At that point I had to express to them - via a gentle kiss or a gentle caress to the face - my feelings for them. I'm not a very talkative man - as the women I loved could attest - but I do show interest in listening to what they have to say, no matter what I'm doing at the time. Do I make any sense?
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Old 11-13-2011, 07:07 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: Guy feelings

I have dated two men who never got far past liking a lot. That's not a great L word. I've had men like me way more than I have liked them, and they used the real L word. My ex-h loved me in a warm fuzzy way. My h was over the moon for me, probably too soon. It is scary when someone moves too fast in that direction. Makes me just as concerned as the like guys but in a different direction.

My h and I still get butterflies. He loves me and shows me he means it. So yes, I am sure men get those feelings. But a month isn't much time in. I know you want confirmation of your desirability because of your ******* ex. But enjoy this ride. You have 50% of the power in this relationship. That in itself has to feel good.

Darn near every man at one time or another has had his heart ripped out of his chest. Being cautious is a good thing.

My h is I don't know what. Too soon to declare me this gf, too soon to say IILY. Luckily, it seems to have stuck. But that doesn't mean he has been a dream. I have wondered if I am so special how could he behave in ways that contradicts those words and feelings. I am training him how to treat me. He has figured out a lot about what not to do. There's so much more than those butterflies to look for.

Feelings come and go and hopefully come back again. But being a good mate and a good person is something that shouldn't fluctuate... much.

Enjoy your freedom. You are at a spectacular age. Don't make the mistake of grabbing on to the first guy. See what's out there. And if you aren't this gf you are free to see others. And that's a great freedom.
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Old 11-13-2011, 07:17 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: Guy feelings

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Originally Posted by morituri View Post
I cannot speak for other men only myself. In my case I think it was when the women I was dating (my first wife (deceased RIP), my ex-wife and my GF) expressed kindness and empathy towards others which showed me that their beauty was more than skin deep. Their goodness brought forth in me an extreme desire to protect them which later became love. At that point I had to express to them - via a gentle kiss or a gentle caress to the face - my feelings for them. I'm not a very talkative man - as the women I loved could attest - but I do show interest in listening to what they have to say, no matter what I'm doing at the time. Do I make any sense?
Yes. Thanks, Mori. I have a bad habit of becoming overly anxious about things. It's kind of hard for me because there was no genuine love from my ex husband, and that real love is something I have wanted so badly. I would like to find this guy out before I get attached to him. I want to know he is real, I want to know he is genuine. This is why I wonder about male actions when they like a girl. I kind of want to compare and contrast what men do when they begin developing feelings for a girl and what kind of things he has done around me to see if maybe, perhaps he just may actually like me for real.
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Old 11-13-2011, 07:38 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by AppleDucklings View Post
What are guy feelings towards a relationship? I'd really like to believe that men develop feelings towards the woman they are with just the same as the woman does for the man, but because I have never had a guy have true, genuine feelings for me, I'm a bit skeptical that men have these feelings. My ex husband never had true feelings for me because of his narcissism. I am now seeing a new guy, it's been about a month now but he's never once referred to me as his girlfriend. He's called me "the girl he's dating" but I've not earned title of girlfriend yet. So, at what point do men develop feelings for a girl? I mean real, genuine feelings. How do I even know if he has feelings for me?
I want to know if men feel that butterfly in the stomach feeling when they think about her, do men find her on their mind every moment of every day? Do men feel happy when she calls or texts or just smiles at you on FB? Do men wonder what she's doing when they're not together? Do men talk about her to their friends?
Do guys really have true, genuine feelings towards a girl, or is it all some sort of sick act?
Don't know about other guys, but I think my answer to your questions would be yes, at least with my GF. But... I don't know that in my case, it didn't happen in the first month.

Our relationship was different than a lot, I think. We started off casual and entirely physical. That was our agreement. The feelings developed over the first couple of months, and I think they were pretty close in timing for both of us. After about three months, we expressed our love for each other. She went first, but I was right there with her, and had been feeling that way for awhile anyway.

Even now, after about 9 months together, I can't get enough of her. I get a goofy smile on my face when I see her (virtually every day), and go to sleep and wake up thinking of her. We talk via text or phone throughout the day, and no matter how much we've seen each other that day, we have a "good night" phone call that is often an hour long. And sometimes when I see her, she still literally takes my breath away with her beauty, and I feel so incredibly fortunate to have found her and have her in my life.

And none of this even touches on the sex and intimacy, which is mind-blowing, toe curling, and breath-taking. . At 44/43 years old, our sex drives are almost identical, our love languages are both physical touch, and our communication on fantasies and desires is incredibly open and honest.

Whew! I guess that was the long version of "yes, guys can feel love".

C
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Old 11-13-2011, 10:45 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: Guy feelings

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Originally Posted by AppleDucklings View Post
What are guy feelings towards a relationship? I'd really like to believe that men develop feelings towards the woman they are with just the same as the woman does for the man
It doesnt work that way. Im not feeling overly articulate today, but Ill give this a shot. Assuming marriage, and assuming he's an 'average', level headed guy, and not a nice guy:

The more sex you give us, the more we love you.
The more you enjoy sex, the more we love you.
The more you take care of us, the more we love you.

Obviously there is a lot more to the list, like hanging out and what not. But simply being in the same house, wearing a ring doesnt make us love you, and the ring doesnt make our love for you grow. We are creatures of logic and under that guise, very simple to understand.

Tangibles grow love for men the way Intangibles grow love for women. Im not saying daily bj's and waking up to the smell of fresh cooked bacon is the only way to make us love you more, although it would, but these are the primary things to look out for.
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Old 11-13-2011, 10:49 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: Guy feelings

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Originally Posted by SockPuppet View Post
It doesnt work that way. Im not feeling overly articulate today, but Ill give this a shot. Assuming marriage, and assuming he's an 'average', level headed guy, and not a nice guy:

The more sex you give us, the more we love you.
The more you enjoy sex, the more we love you.
The more you take care of us, the more we love you.

Obviously there is a lot more to the list, like hanging out and what not. But simply being in the same house, wearing a ring doesnt make us love you, and the ring doesnt make our love for you grow. We are creatures of logic and under that guise, very simple to understand.

Tangibles grow love for men the way Intangibles grow love for women. Im not saying daily bj's and waking up to the smell of fresh cooked bacon is the only way to make us love you more, although it would, but these are the primary things to look out for.
So for men it comes down to the penis and service (ie. there ego) and the woman's mistake is believing or wishing there were more?

I don't want to believe this.
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Old 11-13-2011, 10:58 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Default Re: Guy feelings

Apple!

Seriously? Wtf?

You are putting the cart before the horse. And when I say horse, I mean you are trying to predetermine both your feelings and his feelings even before you both feel your feelings.

Stop overanalyzing! Enjoy the journey, stop the "Are we there yet?" questions.

Unless of course, you mean this....

You to him: wow! I love the flowers! But I really don't need the flowers. Because they seem like such a waste of money!

You to your girlfriend: god! I just wish he would buy me flowers once in a while! I mean, seriously! Wtf! Am I not worth it!

....that's sort of what I got a bit out of your post....That whole I want to hear it but I don't want to hear it scenario going on in your head.

In both cases, though, just stop! Enjoy the journey!
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Old 11-13-2011, 11:01 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Default Re: Guy feelings

In any event...all your questions are...."yes. Yes we do"

Except that very last question....in which case the answer is....."no. No it isn't"
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Old 11-13-2011, 11:08 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Default Re: Guy feelings

Bet there's a lot of lube on that sock puppet.

Pathetic.

I love my h and I am attracted to him. Thus, sex. But if he only loved me for sex... then he doesn't love me. Any ***** can give you sex.

There are reasons some men are not loved or wanted. You are It.

Wander down to some poor area where the women feel they have no choice. Then see how much love you give them for what they give you.

You are not a man.
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Old 11-13-2011, 11:11 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Men, please show him how wrong he is.
Sex is important. Sex and love in marriage go hand in hand. But that was not love nor marriage.
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Old 11-13-2011, 11:12 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Default Re: Guy feelings

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Originally Posted by alphaomega View Post
Apple!

Seriously? Wtf?

You are putting the cart before the horse. And when I say horse, I mean you are trying to predetermine both your feelings and his feelings even before you both feel your feelings.

Stop overanalyzing! Enjoy the journey, stop the "Are we there yet?" questions.

Unless of course, you mean this....

You to him: wow! I love the flowers! But I really don't need the flowers. Because they seem like such a waste of money!

You to your girlfriend: god! I just wish he would buy me flowers once in a while! I mean, seriously! Wtf! Am I not worth it!

....that's sort of what I got a bit out of your post....That whole I want to hear it but I don't want to hear it scenario going on in your head.

In both cases, though, just stop! Enjoy the journey!
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I am horrible about over analyzing things.
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Old 11-13-2011, 11:33 PM   #15 (permalink)
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So for men it comes down to the penis and service (ie. there ego) and the woman's mistake is believing or wishing there were more?

I don't want to believe this.
There is a heck of a lot more, which I made slight mention of in my post. But basically, yes, it comes down to biology and sex. All men are different, and I didnt mean to paint the picutre that sex is the be all and end all of relationships with men.

Trenton, you have been on these forums far longer than I, and you have seen more posts about how unhappy men are in their sexless marriages. Just shadows of their former selves. I fully believe that the penis is the way to a mans heart.

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Bet there's a lot of lube on that sock puppet.

Pathetic.

You are not a man.
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I want Deejo to come to my rescue, he would know what to say... maybe there is a bat sign emoticon...

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I love my h and I am attracted to him. Thus, sex. But if he only loved me for sex... then he doesn't love me. Any ***** can give you sex.
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Well, I love my w and I am attracted to her. The more sex she gives me, the happier and more content I become. The more sex I get the more I want to romance her. If she didnt provide me with sex, I would say that she didnt truly love me, as she is neglecting a very serious biological need. I would also say that if I dont show her love, she wont be in the mood for sex. I dont use "love" or "romance" as a weapon to remove her panties.

Whatever I said, I meant this exact thing, just the other way around. You say love = sex, and I said sex = love, but maybe I forgot to actually use the word L-O-V-E.

Hopefully this clarifies my view, but if not I am seriously up for hijacking this thread with you. We can make a day of itIt would seem AlphaOmega, in all his wisdom (And I mean that!), has helped AppleDuckling with her query.

Last edited by SockPuppet; 11-13-2011 at 11:42 PM.
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