Men, why did he reject me? What could I have done differently in this situation?
Ok men, I admit I havent dated much in my life and I could be to blame but could someone try to help me understand the mindset of why a man would do this? Here's my recent heartbreak & confidence destroyer (this is so long-sorry):
I meet a guy through friends who I instantly liked, (now I'm not being vain or stupid here but I think you need to understand this to get the whole picture) Now, while I found the man very attractive & funny & nerdy (which I adore!!), he is not what most would consider attractive, also he is about 100lbs overweight, my friends kinda made fun of me because I'm considered very attractive (I don't really see it) but men do hit on me often (yet they never follow through) Anyway, we had become friends and chatted on facebook, went out a few times in a group, etc.
From the very beginning he seemed very much interested, he sent me funny messages, we are both big nerds and we played some online games together, etc. Well during the course of time, he had said to me several times that I was his "muse" and his "dream girl", (he's very good with words) he sent me beautiful song dedications, drew art for me, said he knew I'd never love him because I was "way out of his league" now during all this I was receptive, I told him I cared for him greatly and wanted to be with him also.
So he said he was happy & we went out for a couple months. We actually said we loved each other and I was so nice & giving, I always told him he was sexy (he was), I always built up his ego because I knew he was catching a bit of flak about dating me, I know he got a few "Why is she with you??!!? comments", Well even though he treated me very nice in the beginning, after I really started to fall for him he started to become distant & kinda treating me like crap, just saying things that kinda made me feel stupid or self conscience. I found myself in the end becoming kinda desperate for him just because I cared for him so, I began having to always be the first to text, having to ask HIM out instead of the other way around, he even acted like he didnt care if we had sex or not. He was all of a sudden treating me like I was an annoyance to him. I felt soooo rejected & stupid.
So I finally decided that I wasnt going to beg anymore and backed off. I was gobsmacked that this guy who seemed so appreciative of me and so loving turned out to be someone who would try to tear me down & ignore me in the end. I was crushed and I now have hardly any self esteem left.
Another thing is since we ended things "mutually" (which not really because I still cared) he is since dating a girl who weighs about 300lbs and is not particularly attractive, yet with her he is bragging about her on facebook, has pictures of them up together (never did this with me) and on top of that, I know her and she is a very bossy & kinda alpha woman, a "my way or the highway" kinda gal. I also heard they are engaged after just a few months. Ugh....Now I admit, I'm a bit submissive and maybe too easy going but how do I change? I don;t want to be one of those loud bossy control freak women, but will men always reject me if I'm not? I thought a man would want to be first, have a sexy girlfriend, feel wanted & get constant ego boosts & know they are loved because of who they are. I wasnt being fake either, I really did find him sexy & attractive. Maybe I tried too hard. What do men want? Where did I fail here?