Dying...NEED ADVICE
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Old 11-18-2011, 04:16 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Dying...NEED ADVICE

My wife and I have only been married for 5 months!!! Up until a week ago, we were great...deep i love you's, average passion, had fun with each other...we also have a 15 month old son and my 5yr old daughter..last thursday she wanted a girls night so i said ok..she did not come home until 5 in the morning!!! Then she decides to tell me 3 days later, that she doesnt feel the same about me because ive slacked of on my duties as a man...so i pick myself up, and i begin changing. Then last night she tells me she is not in love with me anymore....i am crushed...she says she doesnt know if she wants to work it out...i love her so deeply and truely....i am prepared to spend the rest of my life with this beautiful woman...i am scared...what do i do..how do i act...is she lost? She wont say i love you, touch me or anything...the only thing we do is talk...PLEASE HELP...i feel like im losing my whole world
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Old 11-19-2011, 05:27 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: Dying...NEED ADVICE

so your wife clearly had markedly different expectations about the difference between being together and being married. why is it you didn't know that?
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Old 11-20-2011, 02:19 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Do you really not see what is going on?

You are not the man no.1 in her life any more. And to think you changing yourself will change the way she looks at you and feels about you is funny. It won't. She's into someone else and neither one of you can rationally look at this now. Don't idolize her, you're deluding yourself, save some respect and dignity, you are a man after all. Bug out.
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Old 11-20-2011, 02:22 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: Dying...NEED ADVICE

duplicate.
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Old 11-21-2011, 09:12 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Do you know the name of the guy she is dating?
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Old 11-21-2011, 02:25 PM   #6 (permalink)
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I'd try to get an annulment if I were you...
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Old 11-26-2011, 02:23 PM   #7 (permalink)
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@soccerfan exactly what I was thinking, she is obviously cheating and feeling someone else and now she wants out. Well let her test the waters. Keep yourself together and worry about you and your children. Believe me she will see the grass is not greener on the other side and come running back. Don't let her see your weakness I was just told this exact thing last night its like the WS adrenaline to see you weak.
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Old 11-26-2011, 02:49 PM   #8 (permalink)
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She had a one night stand after she went out.

This is the deal - your wife has low self esteem and needs attention from other men to make herslef feel any sort of value.

The WORST thing you can do is to try to win her back. If you start trying to change, to take the blame for what has gone on, you will lose her.

The BEST thing you can do is tell her you know she cheated and tell her that you are kicking her out until she can get her shet together.

She needs to experience what she is going to lose in order to snap out of her delirium. You need to make her win YOU back, not the other way around.

Your wife also needs therapy to fgure out why she is so unhappy with herself that she has put her family in jeopardy.

Trust me, she cheated. I should know, as I said the same thing in my first marriage as what your wife said to you....and it was right after I had a one night stand.
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Old 11-26-2011, 02:56 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: Dying...NEED ADVICE

Find out who she was with until 5am and you'll find the source of your problem
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Old 11-26-2011, 07:44 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Default Re: Dying...NEED ADVICE

Sounds very much as if she has cheated. These are fairly standard signs you describe.
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Old 11-27-2011, 06:52 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Laurae1967 View Post
She had a one night stand after she went out.

This is the deal - your wife has low self esteem and needs attention from other men to make herslef feel any sort of value.

The WORST thing you can do is to try to win her back. If you start trying to change, to take the blame for what has gone on, you will lose her.

The BEST thing you can do is tell her you know she cheated and tell her that you are kicking her out until she can get her shet together.

She needs to experience what she is going to lose in order to snap out of her delirium. You need to make her win YOU back, not the other way around.

Your wife also needs therapy to fgure out why she is so unhappy with herself that she has put her family in jeopardy.

Trust me, she cheated. I should know, as I said the same thing in my first marriage as what your wife said to you....and it was right after I had a one night stand.
i couldnt agree more.
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Old 11-27-2011, 07:49 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Dawg, pretty clear she wasn't out on a girls night out till 5am.

Sounds more like an exBF who has hooked up with her.
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Old 11-28-2011, 09:47 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Old 11-28-2011, 09:53 PM   #14 (permalink)
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It sounds like something happened on her girls night out that she hasn't told you about. My advice is leave her. If she loves you, she will realize what she is missing. Otherwise you will be doing both of you guys a favor. There are plenty of good girls out there.
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Old 11-29-2011, 12:03 AM   #15 (permalink)
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control your wife she will never date with some one else
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