This is my first post here. Briefly, my story is this.
Been divorced and a single mom for more than a year now. Since August this year, I started to meet new people with the hope of meeting someone who would be interested in getting into a relationship.
I met one guy online and after a few texts, phone calls, and emails, we decided to meet. The first date was just a low key dinner, coffee, and deserts. A week after the first one, he asked me out again. So, we went out for a late night coffee near my place. At the end of the coffee conversation, when it was time for him to bring me back to my place, while walking to the parking lot, he grabbed my hand and held it until I was able to sit in the car. While in the car, he was holding my hand. I didn't let go because I like the way it feels.
Outside my building, we sat on the parking lot just talking and then he said, it is getting late. So, I bended over to give him a good night hug and a kiss on his cheek. When I was ready to pull away, he grabbed me and kissed me. His lips were so soft and I kissed him back. And we kissed and things started to get a little steamy inside his car and I pulled back to gain my composure.
I asked him why he kissed me and he said "I am attracted to you. You are fun, normal, bubbly, and has a nice body." Then he kissed me again and I kissed him back because I like him.
After that, I finally decided I need to go up to my building and call it a night. I asked him to text me back when he gets home so that I know he gets home safely. He did text me after half hour. I asked him what he is looking for and he said he wants to meet people outside of the bar scene to start a relationship with. He is 28, I am 31 and he has never been married and I have a son. My ex-husband cheated on me and I don't think I can afford another heart break. I am not looking for a one night stand or a hook-up.
This guy would only text and call me after his work or late evenings. He asked me via text if we can get together again later this coming week.
From a man's perspective, what is this guy after? Does he just want to get into my pants or does he see any potential in us getting into a possible relationship? I am really confused right now with his mixed signals and I do not want to waste his time nor my time if there is really nothing into it but sex...
Can you guys possibly shed light on this? It was more than seven years ago since I last dated. I have no clue how the dating scene works now or whether it is normal to kiss and make out on your second date.
Oh... how many guys have you gone out with? Is he the first?
You should look pretty closely at your expectations. Your expectation should be to meet people and have fun. How much "fun" is OK is your call. Once you get to know someone and think there might be compatability, then you start feeling out their makeup to see how far the compatability reaches.
THEN, if everything looks great, you should start thinking about a relationship.
he wants in your pants and will try to escalate towards that with every move. If you like him then make him work really hard for it. Enjoy but now is a good time to write down your boundaries in a journal for your own sake and stand by them. I am very new to dating again too, and really don't have much personal experience to tell you what to expect, but from what I can tell, dating in your late 20's and early 30's people generally don't like to waste time, so by the end of date number 2, if it has gotten that far, things will probably be getting hot and heavy. So decide early if you like the guy or not. Have fun!
Yes. Enjoy the ride. Not the destination. He may be totally into you, but something may happen in one month, two, a year. You just don't know. Posted via Mobile Device
He is the third one and I do like him. So far, I felt some chemistry with him. He makes me feel excited.
So far, I want to get to know him more and I am hoping it would progress into something. What I do not want is that he is only after sex and all he wants is to get laid and then drop me like a hot potato. That is why I am cautious. But I do not want to be too cautious in way that he would pull back.
Quote:
Originally Posted by OOE
Oh... how many guys have you gone out with? Is he the first?
You should look pretty closely at your expectations. Your expectation should be to meet people and have fun. How much "fun" is OK is your call. Once you get to know someone and think there might be compatability, then you start feeling out their makeup to see how far the compatability reaches.
THEN, if everything looks great, you should start thinking about a relationship.
here is a 28 year old guy who is attracted to you, arent you at least flattered? do you really have to question whether or not he wants in your pants, really? you will know when your ready, if you ever are, he will know when he is done trying and is ready to move on if it doesnt happen. typical relationship dynamics
No sex until you meet mom. Just kidding. You're both human. It might work out, it might not. You're both into each other. Be calm, don't over think, when you're ready to have sex...have sex. If you're not ready then don't. Don't have sex just to keep him around and don't think having sex means he'll stay.
Stick to what you believe in and go at the pace that you feel comfortable with. Don't ever do something because you feel pressured - whether that pressure is from another person or is pressure from yourself to meet some kind of relationship 'deadline'.
And, you may want to actually try to casually date more people, so that you don't put all of your eggs (metaphorically speaking) into one basket. Get out there and meet greater numbers of guys, casually date them - you don't have to sleep with any of them.
He kissed me on our second date 
Just kidding. You're both human. It might work out, it might not. You're both into each other. Be calm, don't over think, when you're ready to have sex...have sex. If you're not ready then don't. Don't have sex just to keep him around and don't think having sex means he'll stay.
