I am rapidly coming to the realization that my biggest problem is self worth. I have none of it and its really hindering my ability to build healthy relationships. Also, I generally feel down a majority of the time because of it.
I am a good looking, fit 38yr old man.
Always been able to attract very good looking women. Sucessful in my career and have a ton of friends. I really have no reason to feel this way yet I do.
Until I am able to get passed this I feel I will continue to live in this rut.
Im sure this is a common theme amongst these boards. Id like to hear comments on this subject. Tips perhaps...
There are a few things at play:
1. You have objective reasons for which to be happy and feel worthy, of which you note.
2. You are comparing yourself to some arbitrary standard, coming up short of it.
3. You don't believe your rational mind, but the rambling self-doubts of the "inner-judge" (in the sense of Shauna Shapiro, PhD).
Here are some tips, and trust me, this is coming from someone that was plagued in my former years:
1. Stop thinking!
2. Become curiously aware with your lack of self-worth. Don't just realize what you feel, scrutinize it under a microscope.
3. Combat the thought/feeling with facts. The rambling negative inner voice loves rumination. Positivity prefers short and sweet. If you have questions, then answer them with facts.
4. Don't fight the thought/feeling. Let it come into your awareness, take action and then move on! It is a distraction, as if you realized you were thinking about pink elephants while driving. Be aware and then refocus to the task at hand.
5. Get busy. You are probably not busy enough to naturally quiet the mind. Again, curiosity helps to focus the mind.