Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Connecticut, USA
Re: I think my husband is slipping away from me...
First impression - sell a house.
Depession can manifest itself in many ways. Since he is resisting goig to a Dr you have to take care of yourself. If he's saying he loves you still, I have to think this is a good thing.
Saying stuff to him like, "yeah and do you know you viciously take it out on me sometimes?" is not helpful to him.
For my depression, it was a number of big things that were causing it, and it would coming out in small ways, like "yes, you not closing the door is so F***ING annoying." I needed to place the hurt/anger/frustration/depression on something or someone. FOr me, I called a Work?Life number that my employer had which got the ball rolling. I didn't know I was depressed, I didn't know what was wrong with me. Maybe it's similar for him.
If you could step back and not take his mean words personnaly (which I know is really hard), and try and be objective, in the moment, this might help him to understand the impact he's having, and perhaps, how his behavior is not rational nor acceptable. Being objective - stating what happened, what he said and how that made you feel. Don't preach, don't reprimand, don't blame.
The first step would be for him to simply see a LCSW or a psychologist for a brief (30-45 min) appointment, just to assess his situation. For me, antidperessants (for about 2 years) and talk therapy helped me tremendously.