What turns you off about a woman? - Page 3 - Talk About Marriage
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post #31 of 169 (permalink) Old 10-25-2016, 07:30 PM
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Re: What turns you off about a woman?

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High Maintenance (a.k.a. gold digger). I was on a date months ago and was informed that if the relationship was to continue (read intimate) she had "standards" that needed to be met before she continues. I'm glad she had her own ride home because the date ended at that point.

Sorry, but who brings this up on the first damn date!
What were her list of "standards"?
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post #32 of 169 (permalink) Old 10-25-2016, 08:52 PM Thread Starter
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Re: What turns you off about a woman?

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Did you talk about yourself? What things about yourself did you bring up and how did she respond to that?
I didn't get much of any words in. She mostly talked about her upcoming promotion at work for about the whole meal. Then when we went to an art museum afterwards she talked about how her ex husband was an art expert and she talked about her ex boyfriends and all her past travails. I think she asked me two questions about myself the whole date.

When she found out I was a blue collar kid from a small southwestern town she kind of got a disappointed look on her face. She came from a privileged background. I guess she assumed I was a simpleton so she didn't ask me any more questions after that.

It's okay though, because I felt no chemistry from the start. No loss. It was better than staying home doing nothing.
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post #33 of 169 (permalink) Old 10-25-2016, 09:02 PM
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Re: What turns you off about a woman?

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Yes, she was attractive, but as you mentioned I did find it outrageous. I got the feeling she felt entitled to this treatment and this actually irritated me more.
That's when you say, "no problem, I got you!"

Then afterwards you bounce.....

“When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.” - Maya Angelou
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post #34 of 169 (permalink) Old 10-25-2016, 09:17 PM
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Re: What turns you off about a woman?

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i ran into a similar type of thing when i was single.

i did the online dating thing, talked for a couple of weeks, then met for coffee. it went well, i thought.
she was a bit on the heavy side, but very pretty and smart.
we were together for a bout 2 hours, she showed interest, and i responded with interest and we agreed to meet again.

so i waited for her to call me, and a few days later she texted me to meet her at a club.

oh boy.....a date! i thought.

but no, i get there and it turns out there are like 3 other guys she invited like this was sort of a competition. the 'bachelorette'.

no bueno. that was the end of that. what are they thinking?

Even if I don't get likes for it, I'm still going to say it.
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post #35 of 169 (permalink) Old 10-25-2016, 09:22 PM
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Cool Re: What turns you off about a woman?

How about their incessant gossiping and nagging for no reason at all?

Looking down their nose at me or other folks also doesn't do me a whole lot of good!

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post #36 of 169 (permalink) Old 10-25-2016, 09:50 PM
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Re: What turns you off about a woman?

Anger. When they paint themselves as victims in scenarios.

I dated a woman for a few weeks like that in between wives. I remember being shocked at her anger. I asked her gently why she was so angry at life.

Her response was to burst into tears and proceed to bawling.

It was really sad. She was furious at the world for where she was, which was a pretty fortunate place all things considered.

We broke up two days after that conversation. I have no room in my life for someone who harbors that much anger.

"Our ability to feel joy is directly related to how much pain we are willing to feel." - Mavash.

"The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for." - Bob Marley
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post #37 of 169 (permalink) Old 10-25-2016, 10:10 PM
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Re: What turns you off about a woman?

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What were her list of "standards"?
Not a list per say, but an entitlement attitude.

-Asked about her life: oh I like the finer things in life, good restaurants, killer vacations, that's what boyfriends are for (with a smile on her face).

-Vaguely alluded to sex, but likes shiny accessories (I assume jewelry) for that to happen.

-The evening was over when she made a semi-snide comment on the dinner we had. (This was a very nice restaurant).

It was the attitude that irritated me more than anything.
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post #38 of 169 (permalink) Old 10-25-2016, 11:13 PM
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Re: What turns you off about a woman?

Can anyone define "high maintenance" and "nagging", those words are thrown around very casually by men and I have always wondered how they define them.

Any takers?
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post #39 of 169 (permalink) Old 10-25-2016, 11:22 PM
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Re: What turns you off about a woman?

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Originally Posted by Red Sonja View Post
Can anyone define "high maintenance" and "nagging", those words are thrown around very casually by men and I have always wondered how they define them.

Any takers?

Darling it's better down where it's wetter, take it from me! --- Sebastian
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post #40 of 169 (permalink) Old 10-25-2016, 11:41 PM
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Re: What turns you off about a woman?

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Actually it was a sincere question.
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post #41 of 169 (permalink) Old 10-25-2016, 11:58 PM
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Re: What turns you off about a woman?

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Actually it was a sincere question.
They're both in the eye of the beholder, but I think when guys talk about high maintenance, they're specifically talking about maintenance that THEY have to perform. I.E. shelling out massive amounts of money for floofy stuff.

Nagging--I'm not touching that with a cattle prod. It can be interpreted in too many ways, and virtually all of them end up with me getting in trouble somehow.

Darling it's better down where it's wetter, take it from me! --- Sebastian
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post #42 of 169 (permalink) Old 10-26-2016, 12:06 AM
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Re: What turns you off about a woman?

I only use those phrases very rarely , but to me they mean: (and I think that they apply equally to men and women).

High maintenance: A set of behaviors: Need things, in particular gifts / favors. Flowers are a *requirement*, not something that is met with happy appreciation. Need sex, back-rubs, something. Constantly needs help with something, but doesn't provide help in return. A general helplessness. Flat tire - call partner to leave work and drive over to help, rather than call a tow truck. Computer broken - call partner to fix it, even though they write software for a living. Family problems, need partner to help - which is fine, but not if they don't reciprocate.

Nagging: Constantly telling someone to do something when they already know, and either have it lower on their priority list, or have decided not to do it. Often coupled with thinking that their own set of priorities for chores should take precedence over their partner's priorities. Usually coupled with treating the partner like a child: "What, you haven't taken the trash out yet - *sigh*, I'll do it". (when it fact their partner is busy with something that may be equally or more important.

I think there is a lot of variation on how these terms are used, but I see both are a form of viewing their partners as servants, not equals.


As I said, I use these rarely, and think that they apply to men and women who exhibit these sorts of behavior.




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Can anyone define "high maintenance" and "nagging", those words are thrown around very casually by men and I have always wondered how they define them.

Any takers?
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post #43 of 169 (permalink) Old 10-26-2016, 12:27 AM Thread Starter
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Re: What turns you off about a woman?

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Originally Posted by Red Sonja View Post
Can anyone define "high maintenance" and "nagging", those words are thrown around very casually by men and I have always wondered how they define them.

Any takers?
Oh...you mean sort of the same way women throw around "controlling" and "insecure"?
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post #44 of 169 (permalink) Old 10-26-2016, 12:53 AM
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Re: What turns you off about a woman?

Physically tattoos and an unkept appearance/hygene I had a first date with a woman who showed up in her pjs, kid you not.

Personality : shallow, egocentric, rude, arrogant, behaviors are an instant we are done here
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post #45 of 169 (permalink) Old 10-26-2016, 01:09 AM
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Re: What turns you off about a woman?

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Originally Posted by Red Sonja View Post
Can anyone define "high maintenance" and "nagging", those words are thrown around very casually by men and I have always wondered how they define them.

Any takers?
There seems to be a fundamental misunderstanding of "high maintenance" by some of the ladies on this thread. It doesn't matter how high your expectations are, if you're fulfilling them yourself you're not high maintenance. You become high maintenance when you have high expectations that you require someone else to fulfill. Uhtred defined it pretty well.

As far as nagging goes, if I say I'll do something I'll do it. You don't need to remind me every 6 months, I'll get to it.

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