What turns you off about a woman? - Page 8 - Talk About Marriage
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post #106 of 169 (permalink) Old 10-27-2016, 03:45 PM
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Re: What turns you off about a woman?

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So only little people need apply?



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That is a shockingly biased term to use! :O
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post #107 of 169 (permalink) Old 10-27-2016, 04:00 PM
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Re: What turns you off about a woman?

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Just out of curiosity if we are to consider treatments as household budgets does that mean we also get a say is what is done? I'm not married now but when I was this one area was a constant struggle with my x and I. We rarely fought but for this one issue. She wanted a tattoo and I didn't want her to get one. Now we were married so she was going to use our money for it and I disagreed that WE would have to pay for something she wanted and I hated. Her retaliation of course was to tell me I couldn't have lasik which I really wanted. Within 5 months of divorce she has her tattoos and I have lasik so just wondering how you felt about the spousal input on something like that when we are paying for it.
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You weren't asking me but....I have always deferred to my partner's opinion on such matters. But then, I've never been with anyone who was unreasonable about any of this stuff.

If he liked my hair longer, I'd wear it longer. If he liked the toes and fingernails painted, I would make sure they were most of the time. If he didn't like a certain perfume, I threw it out.

Tattoos, I personally think all spouses should have the final veto on that, if they are opposed. But again, I've never been with anyone who is unreasonable like that, so maybe I would change my mind on this one if I was.

But lasik? She told you that you couldn't get lasik? I realize it is an optional procedure and not about life or death, but geez....who wouldn't want their partner to be able to see better?

Remember the goal of feminism: Making sure only alphas get laid!
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post #108 of 169 (permalink) Old 10-27-2016, 04:06 PM
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Re: What turns you off about a woman?

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That is a shockingly biased term to use! :O
Really?? One of the largest groups in America dedicated to people of short stature or dwarfism is called Little People of America (LPA). They define it as adults shorter than 4'10.

Is there a more politically correct term?

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post #109 of 169 (permalink) Old 10-27-2016, 04:09 PM
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Re: What turns you off about a woman?

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Confirmation bias. In fairness, I despise it in all people, but in my limited experience, it has been more prevalent in women. YMMV.

I have seen it in many things. Race. Sexism. Religion. Politics.

It is the psychology of victimhood.

When one is looking hard enough for something, they will find it, whether it actually exists or not.
I'm not sure I follow on this one. Can you give a hypothetical example?

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post #110 of 169 (permalink) Old 10-27-2016, 05:08 PM
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Re: What turns you off about a woman?

@Lila , You are correct the term "little people" is only offensive when it refers to people of lower economic status or of little political power. It is A OK when referring to people of short stature.

@Fozzy , Confirmation bias is when you claim that men like High Maintenance women because their avatar features a man wearing face paint. Of course it will soon be noted that my avatar obviously has a very expensive hair color treatment.
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post #111 of 169 (permalink) Old 10-27-2016, 06:25 PM
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Re: What turns you off about a woman?

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Men say they don't like "high maintenance" women. But they obviously prefer women who wear make-up, have long (or at least stylish hair), wear sexy clothes, high heels, get mani-pedi's , body waxing etc. etc.

So, from the responses so far on the thread, I think it's more accurate to say that men like H.M. women; they just don't like shelling out money for the maintenance.

When you're dating a woman; no, you should not have to pay a penny for her physical upkeep.

But if you marry such a gal, then beauty products and treatments are part of the household budget. And if you want to walk around with that beautiful doll on your arm; it doesn't make sense to complain about the extra hour-and-a-half it took her to make herself look that way.
I think you are confused. I think most women are confused or at least insecure enough to think it matters. My ex used to spend at least an hour a day putting on make up fixing and fixing her hair. I told her she didn't need it. She was beautiful as she was. But what did I know? I was just her dumb husband!
She would spend a $100 to get a hair cut. If I told it looked nice, she would say how much she hated it. Then she would post a picture on facebook just to have all of hundreds of friends tell her how beautiful she looked.
Honestly, there is nothing sexier than a woman who will just climb out of bed after a good round of sex, throw on a baseball hat and hit the diner for breakfast.

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post #112 of 169 (permalink) Old 10-27-2016, 06:37 PM
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Re: What turns you off about a woman?

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Honestly, there is nothing sexier than a woman who will just climb out of bed after a good round of sex, throw on a baseball hat and hit the diner for breakfast.
I'm like this, but that's just on weekend mornings. I know he appreciates that I don't insist I have to do my face and hair on casual outings like this.

But he also loves it that I love getting all dolled up to hang on his arm when we go out to dinner.

And he loves my taste in fashion and enjoys seeing what ensemble I'll put together for work every day.

And then best of all are those special occasions when I get to buy something really special to wear. He has a holiday work party with a 007 theme coming up, and I had to get the perfect dress with the perfect shoes for it. He is renting a tux. We shall be simply fabulous. I can't wait.

I know he appreciates the effort I am going to in order to look so damn fine at his party, on his arm....but I'm actually doing it for me, not him. I love clothes.

Remember the goal of feminism: Making sure only alphas get laid!
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post #113 of 169 (permalink) Old 10-27-2016, 07:01 PM
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Re: What turns you off about a woman?

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I'm like this, but that's just on weekend mornings. I know he appreciates that I don't insist I have to do my face and hair on casual outings like this.

But he also loves it that I love getting all dolled up to hang on his arm when we go out to dinner.

And he loves my taste in fashion and enjoys seeing what ensemble I'll put together for work every day.

And then best of all are those special occasions when I get to buy something really special to wear. He has a holiday work party with a 007 theme coming up, and I had to get the perfect dress with the perfect shoes for it. He is renting a tux. We shall be simply fabulous. I can't wait.

I know he appreciates the effort I am going to in order to look so damn fine at his party, on his arm....but I'm actually doing it for me, not him. I love clothes.
Nothing wrong with that at all. The problem arises when it consumes your life and inhibits the enjoyment of it. My ex allowed it to consume her life (and mine) to the point of disrupting life. There is nothing worse than sitting around waiting for hours for your SO to get ready, especially when you aren't going any where special or you will never ever see the people you meet ever again (such as on a vacation in a distant place)

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post #114 of 169 (permalink) Old 10-27-2016, 07:42 PM
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Re: What turns you off about a woman?

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Nothing wrong with that at all. The problem arises when it consumes your life and inhibits the enjoyment of it. My ex allowed it to consume her life (and mine) to the point of disrupting life. There is nothing worse than sitting around waiting for hours for your SO to get ready, especially when you aren't going any where special or you will never ever see the people you meet ever again (such as on a vacation in a distant place)
Even for our special event coming up, it will not take me "hours" to get ready. Including shower and getting dressed, it will only take me one hour, tops.

I can't quite understand ever taking longer than that. Maybe for your own wedding, but other than that, I can't think of any time it should take "hours" to get ready for anything.

Remember the goal of feminism: Making sure only alphas get laid!
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post #115 of 169 (permalink) Old 10-27-2016, 07:58 PM
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Re: What turns you off about a woman?

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While we are talking about turnoffs that you don't believe we have, I'd like to ADD that I simply can't feel masculine when I am with a woman who is taller than 4' 6" (137 cm). I am also turned off by women who think they are so Hot that any man would change his politics just to get a date with them. I'm also turned off by the attitude that a wedding is her special day and all about her and if he shows up sober enough to say "I do" that's all he needs to do. And, my final unbelievable turn off (at least for this post) is Diamonds.
Is this bolded part for real or were you being sarcastic?

So very few women are that short....are you very short also? I can't quite wrap my head around this one because I don't know any woman at all who is shorter than 4'11.

Perhaps you meant 5'6"?

Remember the goal of feminism: Making sure only alphas get laid!
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post #116 of 169 (permalink) Old 10-27-2016, 08:54 PM
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Re: What turns you off about a woman?

I meant what I said. If it is acceptable for a woman to say that she can't feel feminine unless her male partner is a full foot taller than her then you should be ready to accept that a man can't really feel masculine unless his female partner is a full foot shorter than him. In fact you should expect it.

I guess what I am really saying is I am really turned off by contradictory expectations, and Double Standards.
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post #117 of 169 (permalink) Old 10-27-2016, 09:28 PM
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Re: What turns you off about a woman?

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I meant what I said. If it is acceptable for a woman to say that she can't feel feminine unless her male partner is a full foot taller than her then you should be ready to accept that a man can't really feel masculine unless his female partner is a full foot shorter than him. In fact you should expect it.

I guess what I am really saying is I am really turned off by contradictory expectations, and Double Standards.
Thank you for clearing it up.

I do get it.

I also agree, double standards and unreasonable expectations are stupid.

I like tall men. It is my preference. But if a man likes shorter or taller or bigger or smaller women than I am, I am not offended in the least. That is why I don't feel I have any double standards. I do look sideways when a fat, older, balding man has standards of younger, thinner, hotter women than what he is offering. So I hear ya on the double standards. That is silly. We can only expect to get what we can also give.

But as for the taller man preference...I am 5'4", so although a foot taller than me is wonderful and does make me feel attraction, it is not my bottom line requirement because that is not logical or reasonable....there are not that many men that tall. I am fine with someone at least 6'0", but my preference is 6'2" or 6'3".

I once dated a guy who preferred women who were 100 pounds or less. He was 6'3" and about 215 pounds. I was astounded at the teeny tiny size of women he preferred (especially in comparison to his size). Since this was not me at all, I was quickly turned off by his preference and we would have never been compatible....even though he claimed it was "only" a preference and that I was "just fine". Bleah, no. I can't even be with someone who has a preference like that.

For this very reason, I can totally understand a man rejecting a woman based on her preferences. If she is totally into something that to you seems really creepy, unreasonable, a double standard, or otherwise just "off", I get why you would reject her. It doesn't mean they are wrong about their preference. But if they can't actually deliver something as good as what they are asking for, then it is just weird to me.

Remember the goal of feminism: Making sure only alphas get laid!
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post #118 of 169 (permalink) Old 10-28-2016, 01:39 AM
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Re: What turns you off about a woman?

Batman has a regular commitment Sundays. He began inviting me to go for breakfast beforehand. This turned into a standing date. Sunday morning breakfast. He sees me plenty around home without makeup... I treat this as a date... the makeup and hair is done! He wouldn't care if it wasn't but it's how I turn up for a date. I can be completely ready within 30mins. We have good conversation that flows, enjoy the breakfast and coffee, then off he goes and I continue with whatever I have planned and meet back at home later.

I know a turn off for him is tardiness. For the longest time, I had a bad track record of being late. He told me he views it as disrespectful and realizing he had a point, began changing my ways. Now we are consistently on time and it's more enjoyable.

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post #119 of 169 (permalink) Old 10-28-2016, 02:30 AM
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Re: What turns you off about a woman?

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post #120 of 169 (permalink) Old 10-28-2016, 02:36 AM
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Re: What turns you off about a woman?

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