What turns you off about a woman? - Page 9 - Talk About Marriage
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post #121 of 169 (permalink) Old 10-28-2016, 10:37 AM
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Re: What turns you off about a woman?

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It's common for very tall men to prefer dainty women. As far as I can tell, these men are enchanted by little, tiny feminine bodies. Perhaps because it's such a contrast to them, maybe?

A lot (probably most) guys over 6' would love to date a woman about 5'4"; you're in luck
Yes, I'm dating one right now. And I love it.

However, I've dated (or married) more than one tall guy and they have generally preferred a woman who is taller than me. A few more inches, at least. Just for convenience sake, basically. A 5'7" woman would fit much better under the arm of the taller guys I've dated, even I can see that.

Though they definitely are not sorry with me, and I can wear heels to make up that difference. Therefore, their preference is only minor and they don't make me feel like a shorty.

The guy who was 6'3" and had a high preference for an 80 pound spinner....that one was just too weird for me and I could feel that his preference for that made him not as attracted to me. Just too weird, so I had to bail on that one (for other reasons too).

I had a female friend who was 5'0" and a real hottie. She dated guys of ALL heights, literally. From 5'2" (and I'm sure she would have dated a shorter guy than this) up to 6'5". She said she loved it that she could experience this whole range of different sizes of men. She said the shorter ones were the best fit for her though and she always felt closer to them, I think in part because she physically is closer to them than a super tall dude who would have to bend down half way just to kiss her. She was a real cutie and the boys loved her, short and tall.

Remember the goal of feminism: Making sure only alphas get laid!
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post #122 of 169 (permalink) Old 10-29-2016, 09:34 AM
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Re: What turns you off about a woman?

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You weren't asking me but....I have always deferred to my partner's opinion on such matters. But then, I've never been with anyone who was unreasonable about any of this stuff.

If he liked my hair longer, I'd wear it longer. If he liked the toes and fingernails painted, I would make sure they were most of the time. If he didn't like a certain perfume, I threw it out.

Tattoos, I personally think all spouses should have the final veto on that, if they are opposed. But again, I've never been with anyone who is unreasonable like that, so maybe I would change my mind on this one if I was.

But lasik? She told you that you couldn't get lasik? I realize it is an optional procedure and not about life or death, but geez....who wouldn't want their partner to be able to see better?
This became a tit for tat thing by that point lol. So her stance was if I can't have this you shouldn't have that. My stance was so if I give up lasik you'll give up this tattoo talk, done and done. I felt that strongly about it.
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post #123 of 169 (permalink) Old 11-11-2016, 01:56 AM
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Re: What turns you off about a woman?

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@Lila , You are correct the term "little people" is only offensive when it refers to people of lower economic status or of little political power. It is A OK when referring to people of short stature.

@Fozzy , Confirmation bias is when you claim that men like High Maintenance women because their avatar features a man wearing face paint. Of course it will soon be noted that my avatar obviously has a very expensive hair color treatment.
In Ireland, the 'little people' are actually 'fairies' of folklore, but then the latter has certain connotations too. Language has become so unsafe nowadays
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post #124 of 169 (permalink) Old 11-12-2016, 09:09 AM Thread Starter
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Re: What turns you off about a woman?

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In Ireland, the 'little people' are actually 'fairies' of folklore, but then the latter has certain connotations too. Language has become so unsafe nowadays
Don't they toss dwarves in England for sport?
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post #125 of 169 (permalink) Old 11-12-2016, 09:42 AM
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Re: What turns you off about a woman?

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Men say they don't like "high maintenance" women. But they obviously prefer women who wear make-up, have long (or at least stylish hair), wear sexy clothes, high heels, get mani-pedi's , body waxing etc. etc.

So, from the responses so far on the thread, I think it's more accurate to say that men like H.M. women; they just don't like shelling out money for the maintenance.

When you're dating a woman; no, you should not have to pay a penny for her physical upkeep.

But if you marry such a gal, then beauty products and treatments are part of the household budget. And if you want to walk around with that beautiful doll on your arm; it doesn't make sense to complain about the extra hour-and-a-half it took her to make herself look that way.
I feel there are different variations of high maintenance... aren't we all in some ways or another ?? This is one area...the rich man can easily afford these types so I doubt they would mind at all...while they much appreciate the feminine benefits...

This doesn't mean us lower income women wouldn't care though... I have to say... I care a great deal about my looks.. I think even more so now that I am getting older, I'll be 50 tomorrow! Let the "Over the hill" wishes begin.. oh that was 10 yrs ago..

I care to look my best.... I want my husband to be turned on by ME.. I want "flirtation" and sex vibes in the air between us... I don't care how old we are.. It's just more FUN this way... makes me feel more alive, vibrant and young somehow... I love my dresses, my heels, some make up... putting on lingerie for him, French maid outfits, the hot Nurse.. Ebay's got some great deals... .so I save here over expensive mall shops..etc... also I'd never pay to get my nails done...or the high cost pampering some women do, any time I see a thread like that.. I'm one of the naysayers -that I'd never waste my money....

But still.. I paint my nails...love when he gives me a foot massage...we pamper ourselves.....

Something about longer hair on girls / on a woman... I know my husband wants that, he frowns on short hair.....but I love it too!!...even as a kid, when my step mother cut my hair short at age 9.. I looked at her like she was the wicked witch of the West... I hated her for doing that !!

If I love a product, a certain outfit I want....if it's on the more expensive side... I will scour the internet to find the best deal to be had...I want the most bang for my buck..

So not high maintenance here (money wise)..... I would say I'm more high maintenance in: Wanting to be with my guy & he better give me lots of lovin' & sex..

I don't take a lot of time in the bathroom either.. Many a times I am dressed, ready to go while I am waiting on our sons even.. I've told them there is something very wrong with that picture.


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post #126 of 169 (permalink) Old 11-12-2016, 09:57 AM
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Re: What turns you off about a woman?

I shared an apt with two girls a few years ago.One of them never wore makeup,washed with a bar of soap and washed her hair with whatever shampoo was available and let her hair dry naturally.The other girl was really high maintenance and one day in her bedroom I counted 196 makeup bottles on her shelves and she had more in her handbag and in her bathroom.I still know them and the high maintenance really looks her age and the other girl looks ten years younger than she is.
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post #127 of 169 (permalink) Old 11-12-2016, 10:07 AM
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Re: What turns you off about a woman?

I'm a woman (duh)

Frankly, I agree with almost all of this stuff. Most qualities listed have annoyed the he!! out of me my whole life. Between these kind of girls in school and then in the work place. I couldn't wait to get away from them. Don't get me wrong, I've got awesome girlfriends who are down to earth, great people, and most of them are freaking hot. That being said, I remember these types y'all are talking about vividly. You always wonder what happened to them. When you do find out, they almost all ended up married. The really annoying ones have been married briefly and A LOT. No big shock there.

I have my own set of "no-go for launch" in regard to men, but I swear it seems easier for us, (women) or at least it worked that way when I ended up single. Maybe I just fell into it, who knows.

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post #128 of 169 (permalink) Old 11-12-2016, 10:23 AM Thread Starter
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Re: What turns you off about a woman?

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I have my own set of "no-go for launch" in regard to men, but I swear it seems easier for us, (women) or at least it worked that way when I ended up single. Maybe I just fell into it, who knows.
Comparatively, a single woman can pull in three to four times the number of partners that a male can, simply because she has a pulse and a vagina. No woman should see herself as a special snowflake just because she can find a lot of men who would want to sleep with her.

I'm not saying this about you. I'm talking across the board.
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post #129 of 169 (permalink) Old 11-12-2016, 10:57 AM
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Re: What turns you off about a woman?

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Comparatively, a single woman can pull in three to four times the number of partners that a male can, simply because she has a pulse and a vagina. No woman should see herself as a special snowflake just because she can find a lot of men who would want to sleep with her.

I'm not saying this about you. I'm talking across the board.
No offense taken. In my opinion you are dead on. And if you are somewhat attractive with a good personality, you could be flat out fatal in the dating world. (I don't mean in the literal sense). I was only single briefly after my divorce (so I'm no expert) but I was SHOCKED at the responses and invites and everything I got for only 2 weeks on a dating site! I purposely did not post a picture! I wanted to see who had the balls to talk to me without a photo. Once I visited with someone for a while and they appeared to be a decent human I would eventually send them a pic. It felt like pandemonium to me. I could have had 5 dates a night, and never paid for food again. Flat out ABSURD! The power of the P. Gag. Not my thang.

So glad I met my H so fast and never had to do all that. I would have been an epic fail. I am way to honest and very open about all my flaws right up front. (Probably a turn off). Men say my sex appeal is off the charts, and I now think that is a terrible quality to have while single when you are a very managomous person. It really educated me though. As did my DH. He had been in the online dating pool forever, and literally had NO HOPE that he would find anyone. He had been used so much by women who were only on these sites for what they could get out of the men. He simply viewed them as "oh well, I have to eat anyway". How sad is that? All the women he encountered were dating tons of men at the same time. My DH was looking to date only one person, and he couldn't find a woman that wanted the same thing.

So I hear you loud and clear @bandit.45

Ciao,

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post #130 of 169 (permalink) Old 11-12-2016, 11:20 AM
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Re: What turns you off about a woman?

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This became a tit for tat thing by that point lol. So her stance was if I can't have this you shouldn't have that. My stance was so if I give up lasik you'll give up this tattoo talk, done and done. I felt that strongly about it.
I don't have any tattoos and really dislike them, so maybe my opinion is a little biased.

I don't know why one would insist on getting one if they knew their partner would hate it. I'd feel a little self conscious whenever it was visible.... that can't be good for intimacy.

I don't care for them on men either. Except well done military ones (but only if you're a vet)......if you're a marine and have a well done marine tattoo on your arm ok.

But the sleeves I see on pro athletes? I find them off putting.

That applies to all kinds of things. True it is your body, but you should consider your spouse. My hb knows I dislike mustaches so I doubt he'd grow one. He wants to be appealing to me.
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post #131 of 169 (permalink) Old 11-12-2016, 11:30 AM
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Re: What turns you off about a woman?

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I meant what I said. If it is acceptable for a woman to say that she can't feel feminine unless her male partner is a full foot taller than her then you should be ready to accept that a man can't really feel masculine unless his female partner is a full foot shorter than him. In fact you should expect it.

I guess what I am really saying is I am really turned off by contradictory expectations, and Double Standards.
I see no issue if you like women to be 4'6 or less.....that's up to you.

My impression was that FW was referring to the fact that it seemed a little unusual because of the very few women that short.

Kind of like if I preferred men at least 7' tall. It would be a little unusual as few men are that tall.

But you like what you like. No need for anyone to apologize for their preferences, assuming of course it's all legal and nothing cruel is being demanded.

I'm 5'4, and if I was asked I'd say I preferred men at least 5'9, but it's not a deal breaker. If I connected with a guy shorter than that I'd be fine.

Just like in the abstract I probably wouldn't have considered a guy 19 years older, but we met and connected.

We joke sometimes about the odds a dating site would set us up.
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post #132 of 169 (permalink) Old 11-12-2016, 04:39 PM
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Re: What turns you off about a woman?

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I feel there are different variations of high maintenance... aren't we all in some ways or another ?? This is one area...the rich man can easily afford these types so I doubt they would mind at all...while they much appreciate the feminine benefits...

This doesn't mean us lower income women wouldn't care though... I have to say... I care a great deal about my looks.. I think even more so now that I am getting older, I'll be 50 tomorrow! Let the "Over the hill" wishes begin.. oh that was 10 yrs ago..
We have a guilty pleasure show that we watch together called First Dates.

There's always running commentary between us during this show. The show sets up a blind date where the couple have a chance of being well-matched. They meet at a restaurant where everyone is on a First Date and it's filmed. It's entertaining and strangely, humanistic. When there's a compatible match, it's endearing.

As soon as they sit down, my husband has piped up 'Oh she's going to be high maintenance!' I've asked how he can tell and what that means to him. His interpretation of high maintenance is more along the lines of being rigid or demanding. Then we see the woman ordering her drink in a very specific 'complicated' way and he says 'I knew it.' It's not just about liking things a certain way though; it's the body language, being rigid and non-inclusive, which does often pan out in the dynamic of the first date.

He doesn't like heavy makeup, false eyelashes, botox faces but he won't comment on appearance as being high maintenance. If he comments about appearance, he will say 'She seems like a good person' and it's generally when they're easy to laugh and more natural. When he refers to high maintenance it's related to behavior.

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post #133 of 169 (permalink) Old 11-12-2016, 05:26 PM
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Re: What turns you off about a woman?

T/J on

@SimplyAmorous


Happy 50th birthday!!


It only gets better from here!


T/J off
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post #134 of 169 (permalink) Old 11-12-2016, 06:20 PM
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Re: What turns you off about a woman?

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We have a guilty pleasure show that we watch together called First Dates.

There's always running commentary between us during this show. The show sets up a blind date where the couple have a chance of being well-matched. They meet at a restaurant where everyone is on a First Date and it's filmed. It's entertaining and strangely, humanistic. When there's a compatible match, it's endearing.

As soon as they sit down, my husband has piped up 'Oh she's going to be high maintenance!' I've asked how he can tell and what that means to him. His interpretation of high maintenance is more along the lines of being rigid or demanding. Then we see the woman ordering her drink in a very specific 'complicated' way and he says 'I knew it.' It's not just about liking things a certain way though; it's the body language, being rigid and non-inclusive, which does often pan out in the dynamic of the first date.

He doesn't like heavy makeup, false eyelashes, botox faces but he won't comment on appearance as being high maintenance. If he comments about appearance, he will say 'She seems like a good person' and it's generally when they're easy to laugh and more natural. When he refers to high maintenance it's related to behavior.
I wonder if your husband would consider me high maintenance... I am a cheap date.. I always order water ...BUT I am particular about how much ICE I have in my glass... sometimes I ask for a cup of ice on the side as few waitresses seem to hear the "fill the cup with ice 1st" part ... I just don't like it if my ice melts before I'm finished.. it bothers me... I want my drinks chillin'...even if it's just water..

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I shared an apt with two girls a few years ago.One of them never wore makeup,washed with a bar of soap and washed her hair with whatever shampoo was available and let her hair dry naturally.The other girl was really high maintenance and one day in her bedroom I counted 196 makeup bottles on her shelves and she had more in her handbag and in her bathroom.I still know them and the high maintenance really looks her age and the other girl looks ten years younger than she is.
I'd estimate I spend less than $50 a year on make up, Moisturizers for my face, body.... I try different shampoos/ conditioners... get what's on sale with coupons even....some brands are better than others...tried Walmarts comparable moisturizer once.. too oily... some mascaras are awful.. I'll stick with "Great Lash- Maybelline" for $5 ... He doesn't even care if I wear make up at all.. I just really LIKE some mascara & lip stick at the very least...

It about kills me to go to a Mary Kay Party.. a lip stick might be $15 ... I think I paid like $40 once to try one of their Moisturizers .... I can't say I felt that stuff was any better over Oil or Olay's regenerating hydration cream..

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T/J on

@SimplyAmorous


Happy 50th birthday!!


It only gets better from here!


T/J off
Lots to be thankful for - for sure... I really think our 40's were "the best of times"... I wanted so badly to just "stop time" -I felt this strongly the last decade....but who knows.. I was surely surprised last week...we had our blood tested together, yearly physical we generally blow off...for the 1st time ever.. our cholesterol was good !.. mine was within all limits -though I had a touch of anemia.. (think I got that cleared up) and his was only slightly over ... generally we're both a little too high..

I got a little emotional earlier...thinking of the kids growing up, how it's all going TOO FAST...today went to a Game, watching 2 of our sons drumming for their college Band... then thinking of their Pediatrician on the way home, love that man...been with us for 26 yrs.. he's retiring soon...the end of a season in our lives.. .this caused some tears even ...then it went to this being the last day of my beloved 40's ...it's been a Great ride..but still ...can't we just stop the hands of time.. rest here awhile... no more wrinkles, stay away menopause!!...

He says in the car - even if I looked like I was 80.. he'd still want me...he lays it on thick sometimes.. but yeah it's pretty sweet.


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post #135 of 169 (permalink) Old 11-13-2016, 04:07 AM
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Re: What turns you off about a woman?

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Don't they toss dwarves in England for sport?
I thought that was in the US?

Caber tossing in Scotland to be sure aye.
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