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post #46 of 89 (permalink) Old 11-02-2016, 05:00 PM
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Re: Chubby older fathers are more attractive to women and live longer

Be both!
When I am cutting like I am right now I am extremely lean but still bench press 315
When I am bulking I have around 15 pounds of extra fat but can lift heavier and that is the only way to grow in size, a long bulking cycle.

Don't stay the same, change yourself from time to time and keep it fun. My wife liked me more when I was bulking but I like feeling healthier better. When we were first married we were both extreme gym rats, she could outlift most of the men in the gym! Women that lift have higher levels of testosterone also!
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post #47 of 89 (permalink) Old 11-02-2016, 05:28 PM
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Re: Chubby older fathers are more attractive to women and live longer

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Originally Posted by MrsAldi View Post
You could say the same about the "plus size" model women.
Not that there is anything wrong with plus size, it's just that there is a push for men to accept that, and now there's a push to accept plus size men.

IMO, plus size is becoming the new normal in western countries, if anything it's all a marketing plot to sell lots of crap. All these "studies" are really business focused market research.

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But on average, most men don't accept it. The difference is, articles like the one in the OP, don't have women saying that men are attracted to plus sized women, more than not. But, women are constantly being told by men, that what we really are attracted to, are out of shape guys with big bank accounts. No, we're not. Trump is a wealthy man, but no way would I be sexually attracted to him. I think that some men base all of their notions on all women, on the few gold diggers they've met in their lifetimes, or have read about. All women aren't gold diggers, who will marry a furry troll if need be, to get their bills paid. I can't even imagine having such a gross mindset.

Sometimes, you fall in love with the most unexpected person, at the most unexpected time. ~ Unknown
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post #48 of 89 (permalink) Old 11-02-2016, 05:36 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Chubby older fathers are more attractive to women and live longer

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But on average, most men don't accept it.
Says who? I know quite a few guys who prefer women with curves vs. those "model" type gals prancing around on the runway. Once again though, it comes down to individual preferences.
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post #49 of 89 (permalink) Old 11-02-2016, 05:40 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Chubby older fathers are more attractive to women and live longer

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post #50 of 89 (permalink) Old 11-02-2016, 05:59 PM
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Re: Chubby older fathers are more attractive to women and live longer

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Says who? I know quite a few guys who prefer women with curves vs. those "model" type gals prancing around on the runway. Once again though, it comes down to individual preferences.
I said most, not all. But, the article in the OP, ''women'' pretty much sounds like the author is suggesting that most women like the same thing. Maybe that's it. Maybe that's what bothers me more is that it gets old when men tell women what they are attracted to, as if they know all women. If the article stated ''women like hot guys who have no money,'' it would be just as inaccurate.

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post #51 of 89 (permalink) Old 11-02-2016, 06:12 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Chubby older fathers are more attractive to women and live longer

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I said most, not all. But, the article in the OP, ''women'' pretty much sounds like the author is suggesting that most women like the same thing. Maybe that's it. Maybe that's what bothers me more is that it gets old when men tell women what they are attracted to, as if they know all women. If the article stated ''women like hot guys who have no money,'' it would be just as inaccurate.
"Most" implies that a majority of men don't accept. I could argue, here we go again, another woman telling men what type of women they are attracted to, as if you know all men

Personally I think the article is garbage, so I am on board with you on that
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post #52 of 89 (permalink) Old 11-02-2016, 06:40 PM
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Re: Chubby older fathers are more attractive to women and live longer

I don't totally understand this fat acceptance movement. What is it that we're supposed to accept?

If it means fat people shouldn't face bullying, shaming, or discrimination then I agree. If it means people must be attracted to fat people that's ridiculous; people are attracted to what they're attracted to, and as long as it's not illegal and they can find a consenting adult to participate then whatever.

But I agree with Deirdre in that generally women know men are visual and we don't have women claiming that men are attracted to unfit women; maybe some men are but women get the message that men in general prefer us to be more fit. I do think that men are much more accepting of various body types then us women think and that we're much harder on ourselves than men. We see that all the time here.....guy comes on claiming his wife is hot and he wants her but she's insecure about her body. Definitely a disconnect there.

Men, otoh, seem more likely to think women aren't as visual; that is of course ridiculous. Women are very visual, it's just that for many reasons, many of them societal and historical, women will accept men they find less attractive for security.

I think to some extent that's ok in that you don't have to marry the hottest person you've been with, but you do need to find them attractive and be attracted to them. This is where I think men are actually more honest; men are raised to think it's ok to look for beauty and nobody would look at a guy twice if he dismissed a good woman because he didn't find her attractive. People understand that men want attractive.

Women, otoh, can face enormous pressure from family and society to find an accomplished man regardless of how attracted to him she is. For many women, if they went home to their family and said that a rich guy/doctor/whatever wanted to marry them but they didn't find him attractive the family's response would often be to slap her upside the head (not literally of course). Women face a great deal of pressure to find a guy of some means; not necessarily wealthy but one who provides. Women have had it preached to them that how attracted to the guy they are is irrelevant and since good girls didn't like sex anyway it didn't matter. Historically men were ok with that because marriage was a business deal and women weren't expected to enjoy it, only to provide it.

But of course times have changes and most men want a woman who enjoys sex with them, and I think that's healthy.

Many men are not willing or able to tell when a woman is genuinely attracted to them and base their opinion on whether she'll have sex with him; in fairness it can be hard to tell. This creates a scenario where guy thinks a woman is attracted to him, they get married, but since woman really wasn't sex starts to slow down. Poor guy doesn't see it coming and woman is probably unhappy too because she's not attracted to him but feels pressured for sex.

Women really need to be encouraged to consider attraction when choosing a partner. I think as more women become self sufficient they will be free to consider attraction and all will benefit from it.

It actually is quite possible to find a guy you're genuinely attracted to that's not a bum. Sexually desirable and reasonably successful are not mutually exclusive.

I don't think women in general are more attracted to "dad bods"; they may be attracted to a particular man who happens to have a dad bod for other reasons, just as men can still be attracted to their wife and mother of their children even though she's gained more weight than they prefer. But in general I think people should make an effort to keep themselves in decent shape, or at least don't demand what you can't provide.
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post #53 of 89 (permalink) Old 11-02-2016, 06:41 PM
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Re: Chubby older fathers are more attractive to women and live longer

This article has me thinking of Fat Bast4rd.
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post #54 of 89 (permalink) Old 11-02-2016, 06:45 PM
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Re: Chubby older fathers are more attractive to women and live longer

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Originally Posted by *Deidre* View Post
But on average, most men don't accept it.
Again, it's marketing, Hollywood and porn etc etc

These "studies" are not fully executed correctly, there focus groups who have given the answers the corporate world wants to hear.
They take the information necessary for them.

A real focus group/survey of normal people would come up with vast differences between actual attractions, we are all not attracted to the same size, looks etc

Back in the Renaissance, larger pale, especially ladies were considered beautiful.
There's no way this lady would be a model today, but back then, someone found her good enough to paint. Beauty changes with the times...



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post #55 of 89 (permalink) Old 11-02-2016, 06:52 PM
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Re: Chubby older fathers are more attractive to women and live longer

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Originally Posted by MrsAldi View Post
Again, it's marketing, Hollywood and porn etc etc

These "studies" are not fully executed correctly, there focus groups who have given the answers the corporate world wants to hear.
They take the information necessary for them.

A real focus group/survey of normal people would come up with vast differences between actual attractions, we are all not attracted to the same size, looks etc

Back in the Renaissance, larger pale, especially ladies were considered beautiful.
There's no way this lady would be a model today, but back then, someone found her good enough to paint. Beauty changes with the times...



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Beauty standards are often based on what's not so easy to attain as it's considered exotic.

In the Renaissance one needed to be wealthy to have enough food to be a little round and to be pale thanks to not having to work outside.

Today crappy food is abundant and many people are heavy so thin and fit is in.

Many African cultures where food is not plentiful still sequester a bride before her wedding a feed her a lot of rich food because if she's too thin on her wedding day her husband will not be impressed with her child bearing potential.

This article that shows how standards have changed over the past hundred year in the US is quite interesting:
It's Amazing How Much The 'Perfect Body' Has Changed In 100 Years | Huffington Post
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post #56 of 89 (permalink) Old 11-02-2016, 07:25 PM
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Re: Chubby older fathers are more attractive to women and live longer

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Originally Posted by EllisRedding View Post
"Most" implies that a majority of men don't accept. I could argue, here we go again, another woman telling men what type of women they are attracted to, as if you know all men
I'm not speaking for men. You're the one that posted the OP.

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Personally I think the article is garbage, so I am on board with you on that
Okay.

Sometimes, you fall in love with the most unexpected person, at the most unexpected time. ~ Unknown
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post #57 of 89 (permalink) Old 11-02-2016, 07:33 PM
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Re: Chubby older fathers are more attractive to women and live longer

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Originally Posted by lifeistooshort View Post
I don't totally understand this fat acceptance movement. What is it that we're supposed to accept?

If it means fat people shouldn't face bullying, shaming, or discrimination then I agree. If it means people must be attracted to fat people that's ridiculous; people are attracted to what they're attracted to, and as long as it's not illegal and they can find a consenting adult to participate then whatever.

But I agree with Deirdre in that generally women know men are visual and we don't have women claiming that men are attracted to unfit women; maybe some men are but women get the message that men in general prefer us to be more fit. I do think that men are much more accepting of various body types then us women think and that we're much harder on ourselves than men. We see that all the time here.....guy comes on claiming his wife is hot and he wants her but she's insecure about her body. Definitely a disconnect there.

Men, otoh, seem more likely to think women aren't as visual; that is of course ridiculous. Women are very visual, it's just that for many reasons, many of them societal and historical, women will accept men they find less attractive for security.

I think to some extent that's ok in that you don't have to marry the hottest person you've been with, but you do need to find them attractive and be attracted to them. This is where I think men are actually more honest; men are raised to think it's ok to look for beauty and nobody would look at a guy twice if he dismissed a good woman because he didn't find her attractive. People understand that men want attractive.

Women, otoh, can face enormous pressure from family and society to find an accomplished man regardless of how attracted to him she is. For many women, if they went home to their family and said that a rich guy/doctor/whatever wanted to marry them but they didn't find him attractive the family's response would often be to slap her upside the head (not literally of course). Women face a great deal of pressure to find a guy of some means; not necessarily wealthy but one who provides. Women have had it preached to them that how attracted to the guy they are is irrelevant and since good girls didn't like sex anyway it didn't matter. Historically men were ok with that because marriage was a business deal and women weren't expected to enjoy it, only to provide it.

But of course times have changes and most men want a woman who enjoys sex with them, and I think that's healthy.

Many men are not willing or able to tell when a woman is genuinely attracted to them and base their opinion on whether she'll have sex with him; in fairness it can be hard to tell. This creates a scenario where guy thinks a woman is attracted to him, they get married, but since woman really wasn't sex starts to slow down. Poor guy doesn't see it coming and woman is probably unhappy too because she's not attracted to him but feels pressured for sex.

Women really need to be encouraged to consider attraction when choosing a partner. I think as more women become self sufficient they will be free to consider attraction and all will benefit from it.

It actually is quite possible to find a guy you're genuinely attracted to that's not a bum. Sexually desirable and reasonably successful are not mutually exclusive.

I don't think women in general are more attracted to "dad bods"; they may be attracted to a particular man who happens to have a dad bod for other reasons, just as men can still be attracted to their wife and mother of their children even though she's gained more weight than they prefer. But in general I think people should make an effort to keep themselves in decent shape, or at least don't demand what you can't provide.
I honestly can't help but wonder when reading your post here (which is a great post) if that is honestly what is the problem within all of these LD/HD marriages. There are a lot of threads on here about HD/LD couples, and granted there could be physical or medical reasons behind some of the stories, but something tells me it is an attraction/chemistry problem.

Sometimes, you fall in love with the most unexpected person, at the most unexpected time. ~ Unknown
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post #58 of 89 (permalink) Old 11-02-2016, 07:57 PM
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Re: Chubby older fathers are more attractive to women and live longer

I'm 49, 6'3, 290lbs. So I am a large guy. Are women attracted to me? Couldn't care less. I also didn't give a damn when I was 30 years old and 6'3, 200lbs. I do tend to find women that are heavy, with curves as some would say, more attractive. But, of course everyone has their own tastes.

The study that most interested me, is that people who are overweight but maintain normal levels of blood pressure, sugar, triglycerides, and cholesterol, live longer than people that are thin but have to manage these levels. And even though I am heavy, my numbers are normal. That said, I took my sisters 2 boys and raised them like they were my own, until she took them, left her husband, and ran off with another man. So was I a good "dad" because I was overweight, or because I was a good person? I highly doubt my weight made me a good provider for my two boys.

I don't know what to make of this study. But being heavy doesn't make you better than a thinner man. It all has to do with your character. You can be "pudgy" and still be a right bastard.
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post #59 of 89 (permalink) Old 11-02-2016, 07:57 PM
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Re: Chubby older fathers are more attractive to women and live longer

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Originally Posted by lifeistooshort View Post
Beauty standards are often based on what's not so easy to attain as it's considered exotic.

In the Renaissance one needed to be wealthy to have enough food to be a little round and to be pale thanks to not having to work outside.

Today crappy food is abundant and many people are heavy so thin and fit is in.

Many African cultures where food is not plentiful still sequester a bride before her wedding a feed her a lot of rich food because if she's too thin on her wedding day her husband will not be impressed with her child bearing potential.

This article that shows how standards have changed over the past hundred year in the US is quite interesting:
It's Amazing How Much The 'Perfect Body' Has Changed In 100 Years | Huffington Post
A boob jpb would do wonders here
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post #60 of 89 (permalink) Old 11-02-2016, 11:23 PM
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Re: Chubby older fathers are more attractive to women and live longer

Wow a lot of generalizations here. I don't buy into the notion that media are to blame for this or that.

Frankly I believe our character and upbringing has a lot to do with our attractions. I grew up in a traditional white upper middle class neighborhood so was attracted to the cute, white girls. Everyone was thin back then (1970's) so weight wasn't an issue. Most everyone except body builders were pretty flabby by today's standards. But curvy and soft was attractive in a woman, and more or less lean was the standard guy (thin I suppose by today's standards).

I never considered girls of other races attractive or not - they weren't a consideration.

In college my friends dated all kinds of very hot girls of different races; other guys dated skanky girls; I randomly got lucky and met a girl that was among my many types.

I've aged and experienced many cultures and races and have seen what others like and it varies considerably. This cute Latina friend wore clothes way to tight IMO and I always thought she looked pudgy and overweight when I knew she wasn't. Took me a long time to realize the Hispanic guys really were into the curvy girls in very tight clothes. So it really varies by age, race, culture, upbringing, and willingness to be open to these things.

That's why I cited character. I think if you're open minded, meet new people with respect, listen to what they like, you might like it too.

I could be very happy with a curvy woman, thin but not too thin, soft but not too fat, hard body, etc. Frankly, a confident, 6'3" large woman with a nice face, who felt sexy could probably float my boat.

I think the media amplifies who we are creating a cartoonish, but not completely inaccurate, version of us. Kim Kardashian's huge a55 for example - somebody must dig that IDK.
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