Re: Chubby older fathers are more attractive to women and live longer
I don't totally understand this fat acceptance movement. What is it that we're supposed to accept?
If it means fat people shouldn't face bullying, shaming, or discrimination then I agree. If it means people must be attracted to fat people that's ridiculous; people are attracted to what they're attracted to, and as long as it's not illegal and they can find a consenting adult to participate then whatever.
But I agree with Deirdre in that generally women know men are visual and we don't have women claiming that men are attracted to unfit women; maybe some men are but women get the message that men in general prefer us to be more fit. I do think that men are much more accepting of various body types then us women think and that we're much harder on ourselves than men. We see that all the time here.....guy comes on claiming his wife is hot and he wants her but she's insecure about her body. Definitely a disconnect there.
Men, otoh, seem more likely to think women aren't as visual; that is of course ridiculous. Women are very visual, it's just that for many reasons, many of them societal and historical, women will accept men they find less attractive for security.
I think to some extent that's ok in that you don't have to marry the hottest person you've been with, but you do need to find them attractive and be attracted to them. This is where I think men are actually more honest; men are raised to think it's ok to look for beauty and nobody would look at a guy twice if he dismissed a good woman because he didn't find her attractive. People understand that men want attractive.
Women, otoh, can face enormous pressure from family and society to find an accomplished man regardless of how attracted to him she is. For many women, if they went home to their family and said that a rich guy/doctor/whatever wanted to marry them but they didn't find him attractive the family's response would often be to slap her upside the head (not literally of course). Women face a great deal of pressure to find a guy of some means; not necessarily wealthy but one who provides. Women have had it preached to them that how attracted to the guy they are is irrelevant and since good girls didn't like sex anyway it didn't matter. Historically men were ok with that because marriage was a business deal and women weren't expected to enjoy it, only to provide it.
But of course times have changes and most men want a woman who enjoys sex with them, and I think that's healthy.
Many men are not willing or able to tell when a woman is genuinely attracted to them and base their opinion on whether she'll have sex with him; in fairness it can be hard to tell. This creates a scenario where guy thinks a woman is attracted to him, they get married, but since woman really wasn't sex starts to slow down. Poor guy doesn't see it coming and woman is probably unhappy too because she's not attracted to him but feels pressured for sex.
Women really need to be encouraged to consider attraction when choosing a partner. I think as more women become self sufficient they will be free to consider attraction and all will benefit from it.
It actually is quite possible to find a guy you're genuinely attracted to that's not a bum. Sexually desirable and reasonably successful are not mutually exclusive.
I don't think women in general are more attracted to "dad bods"; they may be attracted to a particular man who happens to have a dad bod for other reasons, just as men can still be attracted to their wife and mother of their children even though she's gained more weight than they prefer. But in general I think people should make an effort to keep themselves in decent shape, or at least don't demand what you can't provide.