01-07-2009, 10:13 PM
Join Date: Nov 2007
| | Discussing marriage issues with your kids
I don't like to discuss any marriage issues with my kids, but when they're 16 and 18 yrs old, they know more then we give them credit for.
My wife and I have been separated for 10 months now. Today, she told me (in front of the kids) that they asked some questions about some of our issues and she answered them, including the affair I had on her and the time she went out on me on a cruise. My 16 yr old son wanted to know what the other issues were, that were keeping us from getting back together. I didn't want to tell him all the issues I had with his mom, because I didn't want to make her look bad to him and my daughter (who was listening as well). I told him a couple of the issues in general, such as; it's been both of us and there have been a lot of things to destroy our relationship. I also said it's been an unlovable relationship, but we're both to blame. I told them about how we tried over the years with extensive counseling and that his mom suggested (1 yr), after our last counseling session, that we separated. I felt that she was urging me to leave. She said that she said that because she felt I was unhappy. I said sometimes I was and wasn't, but felt pushed out nonetheless.
Both of our kids know some of the major issues, but not ALL of the issues, because I don't like to slam their mom to them, even though she doesn't mind doing the same to me to them... many times.
The kids know they have nothing to do with the breakdown in our relationship.
Have any of you had a talk with your kids, regarding hard questions that they have asked, about why you're having troubles, separated or getting divorced?