Advice please - Page 3 - Talk About Marriage
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post #31 of 53 (permalink) Old 11-18-2016, 01:55 PM
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Re: Advice please

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Originally Posted by RyanWSU1975 View Post
My main concern is that she moves back near her family with the kids. I just started a new job and don't want to disrupt that. At the same time, I do not want to be that far from the kids. Not knowing much about this, is there a way to prevent that from happening? Neither of us should not be allowed to just take the kids and move.
Is her family, out of state? She will not be able to legally do this unless you let her.
That's why you strike first and make your Lawyer aware she may try to leave with the kids.
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post #32 of 53 (permalink) Old 11-18-2016, 01:56 PM
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Re: Advice please

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My main concern is that she moves back near her family with the kids. I just started a new job and don't want to disrupt that. At the same time, I do not want to be that far from the kids. Not knowing much about this, is there a way to prevent that from happening? Neither of us should not be allowed to just take the kids and move.
your lawyer would file an injunction preventing her from moving very far prior to D being settled. If she violates this, she is in contempt of court. YOU NEED A LAWYER ON THIS ASAP, if it is a real fear. Also, she could move out and file from her parents house, which puts you on the defensive and in a weaker position.

Just another thought. If she is that vindictive to steal your kids, she could attempt to get you arrested for DV. You may want to consider carrying a VAR.
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post #33 of 53 (permalink) Old 11-18-2016, 01:59 PM
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Re: Advice please

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My main concern is that she moves back near her family with the kids. I just started a new job and don't want to disrupt that. At the same time, I do not want to be that far from the kids. Not knowing much about this, is there a way to prevent that from happening? Neither of us should not be allowed to just take the kids and move.
Talk to a lawyer and do not move out of the house. read top 10 mistakes men make in a div. follow that. read the threads over at the site that will come up when you find the article.

Like you already said it will be a battle. and it will be. prepare for that and know it. fight the battle. Start reading the List. you will know what i mean. You owe your kids strength and foundation. the strength to fight for them against a manipulating lying WW.
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post #34 of 53 (permalink) Old 11-18-2016, 02:09 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Advice please

Yes, out of state. She would have help from family if she did that rather than do it here alone. I would be here alone too in that scenario. Would they look at her being close to family for help as something that may sway a custody decision?
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post #35 of 53 (permalink) Old 11-18-2016, 02:12 PM
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Re: Advice please

Ryan, You'll need to decide what you're willing to do. You can't make her do anything she doesn't want to.

Right now there are three choices.

A) Drop the lies and the OM. Commit to the M and a better life.
B) Divorce and move on to better lives.
C) Continue to share her with OM and allow others to control the narrative of your lives.

Right now she is choosing "C". If you don't want to share your W with other men, if you don't want others to control your family's life, you must eliminate "C".

Best

BTW, exposure isn't done out of vindictiveness. It's done so the life of other BS isn't controlled by the affair partners. Don't let them control your's and your children's. See a lawyer!

"In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing." T.R.


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Last edited by anchorwatch; 11-18-2016 at 02:17 PM.
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post #36 of 53 (permalink) Old 11-18-2016, 02:13 PM
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Re: Advice please

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Originally Posted by RyanWSU1975 View Post
My main concern is that she moves back near her family with the kids. I just started a new job and don't want to disrupt that. At the same time, I do not want to be that far from the kids. Not knowing much about this, is there a way to prevent that from happening? Neither of us should not be allowed to just take the kids and move.
Your STBX can not simply move away with the kids. There are court orders for visitations etc.

“You're painfully alive in a drugged and dying culture.”
― Richard Yates, Revolutionary Road
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post #37 of 53 (permalink) Old 11-18-2016, 02:14 PM
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Re: Advice please

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My source was what you might say shady. Definitely not something that could be used in court.
The source is meaningless in the large scheme of things. Forget where you got it. You got the information and that is all.

“You're painfully alive in a drugged and dying culture.”
― Richard Yates, Revolutionary Road
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post #38 of 53 (permalink) Old 11-18-2016, 02:15 PM
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Re: Advice please

Information not required, thank you.

Last edited by Emerging Buddhist; 11-18-2016 at 02:36 PM.
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post #39 of 53 (permalink) Old 11-18-2016, 02:15 PM
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Re: Advice please

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Originally Posted by RyanWSU1975 View Post
Yes, out of state. She would have help from family if she did that rather than do it here alone. I would be here alone too in that scenario. Would they look at her being close to family for help as something that may sway a custody decision?
If she is sure you will D and she really wants to screw you over, moving could be in her best interest. Lots of 'ifs' in that, but it is what it is. Given her support group is that far away, I would not want to be late to this dance. Especially if she goes out of state, makes anything way more complex for you.
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post #40 of 53 (permalink) Old 11-18-2016, 02:16 PM
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Re: Advice please

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Originally Posted by RyanWSU1975 View Post
Yes, out of state. She would have help from family if she did that rather than do it here alone. I would be here alone too in that scenario. Would they look at her being close to family for help as something that may sway a custody decision?
No, family location has nothing to do with custody. The parents location has everything to do with the custody decisions.

“You're painfully alive in a drugged and dying culture.”
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post #41 of 53 (permalink) Old 11-18-2016, 02:40 PM
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Re: Advice please

How old are your kids?

If they are is school and she takes them out of state im pretty sure any good lawyer will have a field day and any reasonable judge will see it for what it is. Because when shes gone she has abandoned the home.. you will get temp orders for the house etc and SHE gets visitation. and she will be forced to bring the kids back.

seriously get a lawyer.
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post #42 of 53 (permalink) Old 11-18-2016, 02:42 PM Thread Starter
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How old are your kids?

If they are is school and she takes them out of state im pretty sure any good lawyer will have a field day. Because when shes gone she has abandoned the home.. you will get temp orders for the house etc and SHE gets visitation. and she will be forced to bring the kids back.

seriously get a lawyer.
I have a consultation next week!
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post #43 of 53 (permalink) Old 11-18-2016, 02:47 PM
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Re: Advice please

Ryan, I am curious about how you know. It seems that you are nervous about her finding out how you know. Also, what could you get from months ago that is 100% proof?
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post #44 of 53 (permalink) Old 11-18-2016, 05:51 PM
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Re: Advice please

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My source was what you might say shady. Definitely not something that could be used in court.
To the people on TAM it is not shady to use GPS devices, voice activated recording devices, hidden cameras, private investigators, stake outs, computer and phone "look sees", etc.

You are not a "peeping Tom", nay thou were a **Shepard watching over your flock. The wolf took your prize Ewe, bastard!

It is shady if the clouds block the Sun [suncmars!].

It is shady if you sit under an Elm tree in summer or under umbrella at the beach.

If you snooped till your nostrils dried up and found nothing it is not a shady day. It is Eden.

Eden came and went for you.

It was your Eve who ate another's Adams Apple.

Sorry, Ryan.

.................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................

**Tears to Weep-

When I lay me down to sleep, And cry the tears that sinners weep; To speak the words of a contrite prayer, And know that someone listens there. He cares for sheep that have gone astray, Who willfully wander their own way; They vex the pride that hides within, And drink the bitter cup of sin. The web of lies and dark deception, Lie in defeat of Light’s conception; To capture all and destroy life, With passion’s fire and human strife We need to plant the gospel vine, Where evil rules and saints repine. While martyrs lead with ransomed prayer, With hope for life that tarries there. Blood that was shed on Calvary, Set slaves of transgression wholly free. So we rise from the grave to seek reward, Giving praise to our risen Lord. Copyright © elizabeth wesley | Year Posted 2012

This....This is the nub of the stick that pokes me in the eye when the light of day energizes my optic nerve....SunCMars.... The Allegory of the Cave--> On this, I did a '180' and stepped out.

The Lion in Winter. Invictus..By Will, Shall... Saved from harm by my friends.
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post #45 of 53 (permalink) Old 11-18-2016, 05:59 PM
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Re: Advice please

Quote:
Originally Posted by RyanWSU1975 View Post
My main concern is that she moves back near her family with the kids. I just started a new job and don't want to disrupt that. At the same time, I do not want to be that far from the kids. Not knowing much about this, is there a way to prevent that from happening? Neither of us should not be allowed to just take the kids and move.
Dude, that's what a lawyer is for.
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