How do men move on so fast???!! - Talk About Marriage
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post #1 of 36 (permalink) Old 11-26-2016, 10:25 AM Thread Starter
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Cool How do men move on so fast???!!

I broke up with my BF of 4.5 years about 7 months ago. I won't get into the reasons why here, but my question to you men involves how and why men get over break ups so easily. My ex had a new GF within 3 weeks of our break up and is still with her.

I on the other hand am still extremely heart broken that things had to end and i have been dating but I just haven't found someone that I would be interested in dating long term. I even had a casual 3 month dating relationship that did not work out because he moved away.

During our relationship my ex alway talked about how we were soul mates and meant to be together and if we ever broke up he would be heartbroken.

I'm wondering if the key to getting over things is just jumping into another relationship..?? I'm also wondering how is it even possible to love someone so much one day and then several weeks later move on?? Is this a guy thing?? Do guys even get heartbroken?

All this leads me to believe he never really loved me due to the pace in which he moved on. Was our relationship a lie on his end?? Thoughts??
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post #2 of 36 (permalink) Old 11-26-2016, 10:31 AM
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re: How do men move on so fast???!!

Nothing eases a breakup like meeting someone new. He may have just happened to find someone quickly.
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post #3 of 36 (permalink) Old 11-26-2016, 10:34 AM
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re: How do men move on so fast???!!

Hence the joke:

Ha, women think they're smart being able to fake an orgasm! A man can fake an entire relationship!
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post #4 of 36 (permalink) Old 11-26-2016, 10:38 AM
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re: How do men move on so fast???!!

Jumping into relations fast salves the wounds in the short term, but is usually a big
mistake in the long term.

it's for people that can't stand to be alone.

finding the right person is not about rushing into relationships.
it's a combination of maturity, self awareness, seeking out others through the right means, and
patience and good old fashioned luck (or destiny some believe).

remember what mama said?............"you can't hurry love, you'll just have to wait"

Here's what I'm trying to say to you: yours is the better way; through grieving, healing,
forebearance, and knowing yourself and being patient.

don't be envious of those guys that get over you fast and move on.
their chances of long term happiness are much less than yours
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post #5 of 36 (permalink) Old 11-26-2016, 10:39 AM Thread Starter
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re: How do men move on so fast???!!

so you are saying that he was faking it with me?? Maybe you are right?

would you suggest that I jump into something to hep get over the break up once and for all?
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post #6 of 36 (permalink) Old 11-26-2016, 10:41 AM
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re: How do men move on so fast???!!

On a more serious note, back in my dating days I recall the ends of relationships with girlfriends being associated with a great sense of relief and freedom. This would be followed a few days later by the realisation that my sex life had just gone out the window for a while.

Effectively finding a solution to the loss of sex life, e.g. a new girlfriend, would attenuate any break up pain pretty thoroughly.
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post #7 of 36 (permalink) Old 11-26-2016, 10:42 AM Thread Starter
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re: How do men move on so fast???!!

thank you Jeorge.... I have been grieving and trying to better myself alone.. but it's been really hard. Meanwhile he has me a new true love after 3 weeks..! It's just hard to take. Also I know they are serious as my ex does not do casual types of dating etc.
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post #8 of 36 (permalink) Old 11-26-2016, 10:42 AM Thread Starter
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re: How do men move on so fast???!!

so for men it's about sex..???
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post #9 of 36 (permalink) Old 11-26-2016, 10:42 AM
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Cool re: How do men move on so fast???!!

I really don't feel that "moving along," either consciably or even inconsciably, at the sudden or the gradualistic end of a relationship, is deemed to be gender specific!

Either sex is totally capable of doing it! It's, more often than not, referred to as the "cheaters mantra!"

"To love another person is to see the face of God!" - Jean Valjean from Les Miserables

My Story! http://talkaboutmarriage.com/going-t...andonment.html

Last edited by arbitrator; 11-26-2016 at 06:33 PM. Reason: Edification
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post #10 of 36 (permalink) Old 11-26-2016, 10:50 AM
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re: How do men move on so fast???!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by fall222 View Post
thank you Jeorge.... I have been grieving and trying to better myself alone.. but it's been really hard. Meanwhile he has me a new true love after 3 weeks..! It's just hard to take. Also I know they are serious as my ex does not do casual types of dating etc.
I would'nt be so quick to call them a 'true love'. If hes still with her 10 years from now.......then maybe.

the deeper you feel and the harder it is right now, is a good indicator of the depth of feeling and love you will someday give to that person who is right for you and will love you forever.
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post #11 of 36 (permalink) Old 11-26-2016, 10:51 AM
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How to men move on so fast???!!

Why did you break up? It IS relevant to your question.

Last edited by blueinbr; 11-26-2016 at 11:21 AM.
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post #12 of 36 (permalink) Old 11-26-2016, 10:52 AM
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re: How do men move on so fast???!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by fall222 View Post
so for men it's about sex..???


This is news to you???
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post #13 of 36 (permalink) Old 11-26-2016, 10:55 AM
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re: How do men move on so fast???!!

I told my ex husband that I was no longer in love with him I'd say about 6-7 years ago now. We had been very much in love and had a 20 year marriage, so it was a long relationship. Before I said those words to him, I spent a couple of years grieving the end of the relationship silently because I knew it was coming. He on the other hand never believed I would leave.

So we sit here today, I am a couple years happily remarried, and he is still very crushed, heartbroken and still in love. Recently he told my mom it was even worse than when I moved out years before.

Mine is the only example I can go off of. So in our case, it was the woman (me) who moved on "so fast" (from his perception).
It's hard to say what may have been going on in your boyfriends mind and emotions long before the breakup.

If you feel ready, start dating again, and embrace the happiness in life that comes from within rather than from others.

Ciao,

Spicy
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post #14 of 36 (permalink) Old 11-26-2016, 04:18 PM
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re: How do men move on so fast???!!

If you've been pushing on his I-don't-give-damn circuit breaker for a while, one day you'll trip it .
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post #15 of 36 (permalink) Old 11-26-2016, 04:22 PM
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re: How do men move on so fast???!!

Maybe it ended in his heart/mind sooner, and he was just going through the motions with you, OP. That happens sometimes, when one person is ''done'' emotionally, but the relationship hasn't ''officially'' ended. That, or he is a narcissist, and they tend to jump from person to person, just to not be alone. But, if he was a good guy, and your relationship just ended, then he probably was over it before it actually ended, if that makes sense?

''Sometimes, you fall in love with the most unexpected person, at the most unexpected time.'' - Unknown
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