"Sl*tty sex" - Page 3 - Talk About Marriage
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post #31 of 198 (permalink) Old 12-10-2016, 10:09 AM Thread Starter
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"Sl*tty sex"

I personally think that she is so sexual bc she is insecure, and she has crazy jealousy issues. She has this horrible view that men who cheat on their gf or wives is bc they weren't sexually fulfilling which I disagree with. She feels like it's her duty and responsibility to fully satisfy her man which I personally don't think that's possible. She is the type of person who gets so mad if she finds out that her man masterbates or watches porn, she views this as almost like cheating behavior.
She believes to keep a man or to make a man happy it's all about sex.
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post #32 of 198 (permalink) Old 12-10-2016, 10:13 AM Thread Starter
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Re: "Sl*tty sex"

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Originally Posted by Haiku View Post
You seem like a pretty nice introspective and compassionate cousin. Have you discussed your thoughts with her?


Yea I try. But I have a tendency to come across judgy and Holier-than-thou. I try not to but people seem to get offended. Than she ends up not opening up to me bc she feels I will disagree with her or something.
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post #33 of 198 (permalink) Old 12-10-2016, 10:16 AM Thread Starter
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Re: "Sl*tty sex"

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Originally Posted by MSalmoides View Post
I would agree with this. I've not been with anyone easy like this but I've had many friends who have and yep, what you're saying. Could she be happy in an exclusive relationship with that kind of sex drive? Could she commit to one guy and actually do it? Being easy is fine and all, but at some point could one guy be enough for her? If she's a quick panty dropper that can be very scary to guys who are looking for something serious in a relationship.

~MS


She can be exclusive and she wants to be. She is not the cheating lying type of girl. She is super loyal. She IMO uses sex to keep her man happy not bc she craves it so much. She thinks that's what guys want.
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post #34 of 198 (permalink) Old 12-10-2016, 10:16 AM
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Re: "Sl*tty sex"

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Originally Posted by farsidejunky View Post
In my dating days, it really was this simple:

If there is a bright, committed, honorable, classy person behind the ****tiness, she is a keeper.

If she falls short in any of those categories, she is good for about two to four weeks.
Pretty much end of discussion after that post!

Agreed. These days my concern would be whether she has issues after my experiences with my stbxw. She was the aggressor sexually, and was pretty freaky at least for the time period (1980 ish). But that was a symptom of other issues she had. The fact that your cousin can't get to a deeper emotional level is a red flag she has some unresolved issues there.

The problem isn't the great sex. Men want a highly sexual marriage. If she is bright, committed, and otherwise compatible with the man, it would be a perfect marriage. The problem is if she can't get to a deeper level. The problem may not be the men. They may be interested in taking the relationship deeper. It may be her that is the block.

Some men of course are not looking for a marriage, so she's the perfect temporary girlfriend if she loves sex. Perhaps she is selecting poorly.
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post #35 of 198 (permalink) Old 12-10-2016, 10:21 AM
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Re: "Sl*tty sex"

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Originally Posted by katiecrna View Post
She can be exclusive and she wants to be. She is not the cheating lying type of girl. She is super loyal. She IMO uses sex to keep her man happy not bc she craves it so much. She thinks that's what guys want.
She sounds controlling.

She would be happier if she could relax, and just let things happen, not aim for a specific outcome.

One of the deepest feminine pleasures is when a man stands full, present, and unreactive in the midst of his woman's emotional storms. When he stays present with her, and loves her through the layers of wildness and closure, then she feels his trustability, and she can relax. -- David Deida, The Way of the Superior Man
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post #36 of 198 (permalink) Old 12-10-2016, 10:23 AM
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Re: "Sl*tty sex"

No offence but the saying "crazy in the bed, crazy in the head" comes to mind.

Even if I don't get likes for it, I'm still going to say it.
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post #37 of 198 (permalink) Old 12-10-2016, 10:26 AM
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Re: "Sl*tty sex"

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Originally Posted by katiecrna View Post
I personally think that she is so sexual bc she is insecure, and she has crazy jealousy issues. She has this horrible view that men who cheat on their gf or wives is bc they weren't sexually fulfilling which I disagree with. She feels like it's her duty and responsibility to fully satisfy her man which I personally don't think that's possible. She is the type of person who gets so mad if she finds out that her man masterbates or watches porn, she views this as almost like cheating behavior.
She believes to keep a man or to make a man happy it's all about sex.

It's easily more likely that her relationships don't endure because she is jealous and insecure. If she stopped the sex, she would then just be a jealous, insecure woman without great sex.

So do you really think it's hot sex that is chasing men away? That sound a lot like trying to chase ants away from a picnic by pouring sugar on the ground.

Last edited by zookeeper; 12-10-2016 at 10:30 AM.
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post #38 of 198 (permalink) Old 12-10-2016, 10:26 AM Thread Starter
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Re: "Sl*tty sex"

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She sounds controlling.



She would be happier if she could relax, and just let things happen, not aim for a specific outcome.


That's a good observation and I think your right. She has a lot of issues from childhood and she requires a lot to feel safe and loved.
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post #39 of 198 (permalink) Old 12-10-2016, 10:28 AM
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Re: "Sl*tty sex"

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Originally Posted by EllisRedding View Post
To me, it is just a matter of finding someone who you are compatible with, share the same/similar morals/values. This is more important if you are looking for a relationship of course and not just a quick round of fun.


It is not about how many partners, etc. It is how good you feel about being together.

One of the deepest feminine pleasures is when a man stands full, present, and unreactive in the midst of his woman's emotional storms. When he stays present with her, and loves her through the layers of wildness and closure, then she feels his trustability, and she can relax. -- David Deida, The Way of the Superior Man
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post #40 of 198 (permalink) Old 12-10-2016, 10:28 AM Thread Starter
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Re: "Sl*tty sex"

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Originally Posted by zookeeper View Post
It's easily more likely that her relationships don't endure because she is jealous and insecure. If she stopped the sex, she would then just be a jealous, insecure woman without great sex.



So do you really think it's hot sex that is chasing men away? That sound a lot like trying to chase ants away from a picking by pouring sugar on the ground.


Good point. Your right. She's in therapy but sometimes I think jealous people will always be jealous and people with anger problems with always have anger problems etc.
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post #41 of 198 (permalink) Old 12-10-2016, 10:31 AM
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Re: "Sl*tty sex"

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That's a good observation and I think your right. She has a lot of issues from childhood and she requires a lot to feel safe and loved.
I think a lot of women do.

My next oldest sister is much like your cousin. She was sexually abused growing up, and has never really recovered.

She will probably never be healthy, never get genuine love. It is really sad.

One of the deepest feminine pleasures is when a man stands full, present, and unreactive in the midst of his woman's emotional storms. When he stays present with her, and loves her through the layers of wildness and closure, then she feels his trustability, and she can relax. -- David Deida, The Way of the Superior Man
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post #42 of 198 (permalink) Old 12-10-2016, 10:32 AM
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Re: "Sl*tty sex"

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Good point. Your right. She's in therapy but sometimes I think jealous people will always be jealous and people with anger problems with always have anger problems etc.
I am not sure we ever entirely outgrow our issues.

One of the deepest feminine pleasures is when a man stands full, present, and unreactive in the midst of his woman's emotional storms. When he stays present with her, and loves her through the layers of wildness and closure, then she feels his trustability, and she can relax. -- David Deida, The Way of the Superior Man
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post #43 of 198 (permalink) Old 12-10-2016, 10:34 AM Thread Starter
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"Sl*tty sex"

I guess it's going to take a very very patient man. Technically we all have flaws that our spouses are patient with right? It's hard bc at the end of the day she is a good person, has a great heart but has issues that cause her "crazy" behavior. People view it as controlling, I mean it is controlling but she doesn't do it out of meanness or ill will. God bless patient people who know and understand the heart of people.
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post #44 of 198 (permalink) Old 12-10-2016, 10:46 AM
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Re: "Sl*tty sex"

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Originally Posted by samyeagar View Post
You know, we have often found some similarities in ourselves and our partners, and I got to wondering how much our ages at the beginning of our relationship have to do with things. With the similarities we all have, there are a few seemingly stark differences that perhaps the years of life experience can explain.

While you and my wife had similar backgrounds and experiences growing up, a few key differences led to very different lives, yet here we all are at similar places in our lives with similar partners, similar attitudes, similar desires.

I do wonder how you or your husband would fare if you found yourself in the dating pool again, as I did...this is where my wondering about life experience comes in....for myself, what would take me ages to figure out when I was much younger, getting answers to questions, wondering about anothers intentions, basically figuring out a persons character...the years of life experience honed my ability in that regard to come to conclusions in a fraction of the time.

If any of that makes any sense...
He's told me he'd never seek out another.. not fair to the woman....the kids would be enough.. My guess...I'd be highly disillusioned and wholly disappointed ...I'd have to fight not being vulnerable to trusting too easily , too early.....I could find many who'd want to screw... it would be terribly tempting even... but I'd want so much more... I'd be mourning for what was.. and praying to find something half that good ....
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post #45 of 198 (permalink) Old 12-10-2016, 11:06 AM
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Re: "Sl*tty sex"

I married a girl just like her.

Im pleased with my choice

Holes burn deep in your chest,
Raked by machine gun fire.
Screaming soul sent out to die,
Living mandatory suicide.
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