"Sl*tty sex" - Page 4 - Talk About Marriage
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post #46 of 198 (permalink) Old 12-10-2016, 11:07 AM
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Re: "Sl*tty sex"

Really nice thoughtful and informative conversation.

Is there a distinction between what a person enjoys doing in bed with a partner and how easily/quickly they engage in it with someone? In other words is anyone objecting to what the cousin may enjoy during intimacy?

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post #47 of 198 (permalink) Old 12-10-2016, 11:08 AM
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Re: "Sl*tty sex"

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She sounds controlling.

She would be happier if she could relax, and just let things happen, not aim for a specific outcome.
It comes from anxiety and insecurity. Relaxing and letting things happen is not as easy as it sounds for this personality type.

Darling it's better down where it's wetter, take it from me! --- Sebastian
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post #48 of 198 (permalink) Old 12-10-2016, 11:22 AM Thread Starter
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Re: "Sl*tty sex"

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Really nice thoughtful and informative conversation.



Is there a distinction between what a person enjoys doing in bed with a partner and how easily/quickly they engage in it with someone? In other words is anyone objecting to what the cousin may enjoy during intimacy?


Are you asking is it the timing or the act?

For me you asking what she enjoys during intimacy is sticking out to me. My opinion is that she doesn't really enjoy these things herself so much as she thinks that's what guys like, and she enjoys the feeling of "pleasing" her man. She tells me that she loves being desired by her bf. Like that itself is everything, aka she has low self esteem and loves to finally feel good about herself and she does feel good about herself when the guy is desiring her.
I mean let's be real do girls REALLY like to give BJ and swallow and get facials? I personally don't think so. I think they feel empowered, or they do it bc they think it makes their men happy. I'm not saying that's wrong I think it's nice to love to make your partner happy.
Men would you love your wife to squirt all over your face when she orgasms? No you probably wouldn't.
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post #49 of 198 (permalink) Old 12-10-2016, 11:27 AM
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Re: "Sl*tty sex"

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Originally Posted by katiecrna View Post
Are you asking is it the timing or the act?

For me you asking what she enjoys during intimacy is sticking out to me. My opinion is that she doesn't really enjoy these things herself so much as she thinks that's what guys like, and she enjoys the feeling of "pleasing" her man. She tells me that she loves being desired by her bf. Like that itself is everything, aka she has low self esteem and loves to finally feel good about herself and she does feel good about herself when the guy is desiring her.
I mean let's be real do girls REALLY like to give BJ and swallow and get facials? I personally don't think so. I think they feel empowered, or they do it bc they think it makes their men happy. I'm not saying that's wrong I think it's nice to love to make your partner happy.
Men would you love your wife to squirt all over your face when she orgasms? No you probably wouldn't.
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Ok. I understand better. Thank you.

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post #50 of 198 (permalink) Old 12-10-2016, 11:28 AM
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Re: "Sl*tty sex"

Im not a parent and Im 49; my thoughts could be way off the mark

I have 5 nieces that are all in their early 20s. in talking to their mothers there is a prevalent hook-up culture and none of them want anything serious. One told her mother that I just need sex not a guy hanging around. A guess is that young men in that group are the same.

Maybe her holding out a bit would keep the players moving on & a different kind of guy sticking around.
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post #51 of 198 (permalink) Old 12-10-2016, 11:31 AM
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Re: "Sl*tty sex"

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Originally Posted by katiecrna View Post
Are you asking is it the timing or the act?

For me you asking what she enjoys during intimacy is sticking out to me. My opinion is that she doesn't really enjoy these things herself so much as she thinks that's what guys like, and she enjoys the feeling of "pleasing" her man. She tells me that she loves being desired by her bf. Like that itself is everything, aka she has low self esteem and loves to finally feel good about herself and she does feel good about herself when the guy is desiring her.
I mean let's be real do girls REALLY like to give BJ and swallow and get facials? I personally don't think so. I think they feel empowered, or they do it bc they think it makes their men happy. I'm not saying that's wrong I think it's nice to love to make your partner happy.
Men would you love your wife to squirt all over your face when she orgasms? No you probably wouldn't.
Hooooo boy, this should generate some traffic.

Darling it's better down where it's wetter, take it from me! --- Sebastian
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post #52 of 198 (permalink) Old 12-10-2016, 11:34 AM
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Re: "Sl*tty sex"

Long long ago I dated a woman who was a self-proclaimed slvt. She LOVED sex, in all its varieties. She had be with a large number of men.

I love would have married her, but our plans for the future were just too different, she wanted kids, a dog and a house, I didn't. Certainly her enthusiasm for sex was in no way a deterrent.

After living my life with a woman with very little interest in sex, I think people would do well to appreciate those who do enjoy it.

All that said, the OPs cousin is likely doing a bad job of selecting men. She needs to look for men who are attracted to her and for whom good sex is a great bonus, not those who are just looking for sex.
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post #53 of 198 (permalink) Old 12-10-2016, 11:41 AM
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Re: "Sl*tty sex"

I love to go to the movies. I love action movies.

After seeing them one time I rarely go back again...old Clint Eastwood movies are the exception.

Dating a girl like this would set in motion memories/movies unseen, but imagined.

I would wonder how many guys got the "Royal", [roiled] treatment.

When you are [out and about] with this girl and she gets a "Hi" from some guy, you would wonder, "Did she [do him] that way also?"

However, to each his/her own. I would pass on this girl.

Yes, she would be nice to bring along on the back of a cross country motorcycle ride, a ski trip to Steamboat Springs, or to take to the Caribbean. As long as you do not give her your heart.

Me? I like women too much to take a chance! In reality, those days are gone for me. And not missed.

This....This is the nub of the stick that pokes me in the eye when the light of day energizes my optic nerve....SunCMars.... The Allegory of the Cave--> On this, I did a '180' and stepped out.

The Lion in Winter. Invictus..By Will, Shall... Saved from harm by my friends.
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post #54 of 198 (permalink) Old 12-10-2016, 11:49 AM
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Re: "Sl*tty sex"

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Originally Posted by katiecrna View Post
A
I mean let's be real do girls REALLY like to give BJ and swallow and get facials? I personally don't think so. I think they feel empowered, or they do it bc they think it makes their men happy. I'm not saying that's wrong I think it's nice to love to make your partner happy.
Men would you love your wife to squirt all over your face when she orgasms? No you probably wouldn't.
My husband's never wanted to give me a facial.. he would not understand men like this or what they get out of that....

But yes.. I literally get turned on giving him BJ's...mostly this is foreplay for us.. so something is in it for me too .. There was a time I couldn't get enough....he didn't have enough erections to satisfy that desire in me.. (this must sound "sex obsessed"... and yeah it was)... that was A LOT of fun !
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post #55 of 198 (permalink) Old 12-10-2016, 11:50 AM
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Re: "Sl*tty sex"

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It comes from anxiety and insecurity. Relaxing and letting things happen is not as easy as it sounds for this personality type.
I agree. But trying to force things to happen does not usually have a good outcome, either.

One of the deepest feminine pleasures is when a man stands full, present, and unreactive in the midst of his woman's emotional storms. When he stays present with her, and loves her through the layers of wildness and closure, then she feels his trustability, and she can relax. -- David Deida, The Way of the Superior Man
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post #56 of 198 (permalink) Old 12-10-2016, 11:52 AM
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Re: "Sl*tty sex"

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So my question to men... you start dating this awesome girl and she let's say... gives you oral all the time and swallows every time or let's you go on her face and loves it, can you see this as a serious relationship?
I can't answer the question until I meet her personally.

What's her number?
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post #57 of 198 (permalink) Old 12-10-2016, 11:52 AM Thread Starter
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Re: "Sl*tty sex"

If your a guy dating a girl it's hard to really know what ur sex life will be like 10+ years later if you married. Some women bate and switch. Sometimes women are just super sexual at the beginning of any relationship, it's the novelty, the excitement, the hormones and I think this is most common. I think the only almost guarantee is if your dating someone who doesn't seem to love sex, or be super into it that's a good indication that ur not going to have an amazing wild sex life in 10+ years.
I think we can all admit that the first couple weeks/months in a relationship are nothing like how they are once you have been married for 10+ years. So it baffles me when people have affairs and leave their wife for their mistress thinking it's going to be any different.
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post #58 of 198 (permalink) Old 12-10-2016, 11:55 AM Thread Starter
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Re: "Sl*tty sex"

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My husband's never wanted to give me a facial.. he would not understand men like this or what they get out of that....

But yes.. I literally get turned on giving him BJ's...mostly this is foreplay for us.. so something is in it for me too .. There was a time I couldn't get enough....he didn't have enough erections to satisfy that desire in me.. (this must sound "sex obsessed"... and yeah it was)... that was A LOT of fun !


I agree with this. If I'm not in the mood a sure way for me to get into the mood is to give my husband a bj. In fact that is how 95% of our sexual encounters start. Bc it turns me on to get him turned on. Not bc the act itself turns me on. Like I wouldn't suck a dildo to turn myself on.
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post #59 of 198 (permalink) Old 12-10-2016, 11:56 AM
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Re: "Sl*tty sex"

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I agree. But trying to force things to happen does not usually have a good outcome, either.
It depends on what you mean by "force". For things like attachment anxiety and insecurity, these things rarely just go away on their own. They need to be worked through either with therapy or with deliberate mindfulness. That requires the person in question to make deliberate decisions and take action.

Darling it's better down where it's wetter, take it from me! --- Sebastian
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post #60 of 198 (permalink) Old 12-10-2016, 11:59 AM
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Re: "Sl*tty sex"

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It depends on what you mean by "force". For things like attachment anxiety and insecurity, these things rarely just go away on their own. They need to be worked through either with therapy or with deliberate mindfulness. That requires the person in question to make deliberate decisions and take action.
What I mean is trying too hard in a relationship. I do not think she should be trying so hard to "catch" and keep a man.

She should be herself and just let things happen. A man who appreciates her for herself would be my hope for her.

One of the deepest feminine pleasures is when a man stands full, present, and unreactive in the midst of his woman's emotional storms. When he stays present with her, and loves her through the layers of wildness and closure, then she feels his trustability, and she can relax. -- David Deida, The Way of the Superior Man
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