I disagree with @TAMAT
- she should not hide her sexual past to get a man - if he is the type of man this matters to, it will destroy the relationship when it is ultimately exposed. No man wants to play the fool and that is what she would be doing.
I don't know the answer. I'm a lot older but it's not like we didn't have sex in my day. But my friends who fooled around with a lot of girls didn't really take them seriously. Yes, they were amazing and hot and freaky... but the guys were also hot and freaky and liked to bang lots of girls.
If you read His Needs Her Needs, you see respect and admiration right behind sex in most guys Needs. And this is really the issue for many guys.
How can a guy know she admires him or respects him if she demonstrates her sexuality that readily in a new relationship?
A lot of guys (and women) like to put their partner on a pedestal. And they want to believe she thinks he's amazing and the best, etc.
No guy will tell you this, but it's the same reason guys have such a hard time getting over a PA compared to women. They can't help wonder what the OM was like; did she prefer him; was he better or bigger or last longer; whatever insecurities the guy has are amplified. But the reason has to do with him wanting her respect and admiration as well as his insecurities. She has demonstrated he's just another sexual partner, and that's a killer for a lot of guys.
Knowing your woman has enough sexual experience and appetite to get that into it right away exposes these fears and insecurities. I suspect that's what keeps many guys from committing.
Personally, for me it's about her insecurities. If she jumps in that far and that fast, what would make me believe she wouldn't move on as quickly. I wouldn't be able to trust someone like that without getting to know her and really building trust. I would have a hard time respecting someone like that.
It's not politically correct these days to say these things but I'm sure a lot of guys feel this way. My 2 boys are freshmen in college; one is in amazing shape, good looking and very smart but doesn't date even though he knows lots of girls. They want to get drunk and are more aggressive about it, and though they're friends, I know he doesn't respect their choices. So a guy like that would be out of the question as a mate even though those same girls hang onto him like they have a chance.
I would say pick guys that aren't out for NSA sex, talk about sex and relationships and get to know the guys, hold off on the non-vanilla sex for a bit and ramp it up as the relationship takes off. This way she is building up the sexual relationship along with the non-sexual relationship. It might add the emotional component she's missing.
Idk good luck. I think a lot of girls who are out getting their freak on assuming they'll find a nice engineer to settle down with later will be sorely disappointed when their past and character rules this possibility out.
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