Okay... tell your "cousin"
Hell yes, where do I sign up?!? Sounds like my dream girl!
Only two potential issues I see:
1) She's overtly sexual with other men (ie flirty, touchy etc.). It needs to stay in the bedroom.
2) She turns ice cold after the wedding and the well runs dry. Then I just feel duped.
My girlfriend is very classy outwardly to others and also very kinky in bed. I'm head over heels atm.
I don't often agree with your black/white views on many things, but this one, absolutely
My wife is very trustworthy, I'm not concerned about that. However, she has gone through periods in her life (including when we started dating many years ago) where her self-esteem/self-worth was tied to attracting men via her sexuality. Even after we started dating, her flirtiness continued with others. I believe she became accustomed to this type of attention, even though she's not a sexual person to begin with. But it's how she learned to garner attention from men. By the time she was 20, she had already been in two relationships that lasted 3 years each, if you can believe it. She didn't WANT numerous boyfriends, she truly wanted to settle down.
Ironically enough, she only ever wanted a real partner, a husband, somebody to love her and for her to love. Once she was comfortable that she found that in me, that part of her died, which is unfortunate. So for her, sex and sexuality had always been the first step in finding a mate. Even with a repeated lack of success, it was all she knew. She has talked about 'feeling used' in the past, and she most definitely put 2 and 2 together, yet she continued this way. She literally went periods of a year or two (several times) being completely celibate, because she knew this approach didn't work, but that approach didn't, either.
It took her about 6 months of dating me, exclusively, to even begin to imagine a future with me, or more - to trust me that I wasn't just in it for the sex. I can almost exactly pinpoint the moment this happened. Up until then, she was sexually aggressive with me (which I didn't mind!), but it was almost overboard at times. During sex, she would say things like "**** me! **** me hard". At first, I was right into that. But over time, it almost sounded like she was on a loop, and that she was talking like that because she thought *I* wanted her to. I told her, gently, that although I very much liked that kind of enthusiasm, that it wasn't necessary for my sake, and it's like a weight was lifted off of her. I can't explain it. It was a gamble on my part, I most definitely could have made her feel self-conscious about it, but I was right. See, the more time I spent with her, the more I realized that that kind of thing wasn't really "her".
In retrospect, I regret and also NOT regret bringing that up. On on hand, I'm glad I allowed her to be herself, as it were. On the other, it got the ball rolling (downhill) to the point where she no longer equates sex and sexuality with a successful marriage (no matter how much I tell her it is...). In other words, she went from one extreme to the other. Sex was how she got and kept a man, to "it's not nearly as important as I always thought". I have myself to blame for this, and I know it. But the alternative was living with someone who felt she had to be a certain type - which was not her - to have a successful relationship. Damned if I do, damned if I don't.
Sadly, it's not that she doesn't like sex - she does. It's that she expended all that energy when she probably didn't have to. It's like the guy who goes to the gym regularly, attracts lots of women, yet none of them are interested in LTRs or marriage. He finally meets a woman who likes him for HIM, tells him he doesn't have to be so fit, she loves him for other reasons - so he lets himself go. He got comfortable with the fact that somebody loves him for HIM, not just his body. The thing is, she meant it, she IS attracted to him for many other reasons. But ALSO liked his body... Sigh.