I'm sorry; but I think this is a silly question. Like, how you feel when you see your wife at the end of the day is a constant. The answer is, that depends.
My husband greets me with a hello and smile. Sometimes a kiss, but I have him hurry to change because dinner is done. He is very happy to come home. We are happy he is home. Posted via Mobile Device
Honestly, I breath a big "sigh" when I get home. I hang my keys up and just say to myself, "Ah...I'm home!!" It is not that I do not like my job, it is that I get to see her, kiss her, talk to her and many evenings make love to her. I would rather be with her than anyone else. I/we are away at least 3 nights a week and we cherish our time together. After 39 years I don't think that will change.
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The marriage bed must be a place of mutuality—the husband seeking to satisfy his wife, the wife seeking to satisfy her husband. Marriage is not a place to "stand up for your rights." Marriage is a decision to serve the other, whether in bed or out. 1 Corinthians 7:2 (The Message)
she immediately starts to download her brain into mine, drives me nuts
Here is how I tell young engaged couples to handle this:
Understand women are generally much more verbal than men, so you both need to understand this.
A man often needs to go into his "cave" after work, but a woman needs to talk...so what do you do? You come to an understanding that the guy needs some time. 30-60 min. During that time conversation is light (hopefully the guy is helping get dinner on the table). Then after he has had a chance to decompress, he will sit down and LISTEN to his wife.
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The marriage bed must be a place of mutuality—the husband seeking to satisfy his wife, the wife seeking to satisfy her husband. Marriage is not a place to "stand up for your rights." Marriage is a decision to serve the other, whether in bed or out. 1 Corinthians 7:2 (The Message)
Here is how I tell young engaged couples to handle this:
Understand women are generally much more verbal than men, so you both need to understand this.
A man often needs to go into his "cave" after work, but a woman needs to talk...so what do you do? You come to an understanding that the guy needs some time. 30-60 min. During that time conversation is light (hopefully the guy is helping get dinner on the table). Then after he has had a chance to decompress, he will sit down and LISTEN to his wife.
so sitting down and reading the paper is not a que to a very intelligent person that the other person isnt ready to blabber?
so sitting down and reading the paper is not a que to a very intelligent person that the other person isnt ready to blabber?
Well, actually no. Hints are not communication. Instead of throwing out "hints" why don't you just say, "Honey, when I get home need a bit of decompression time, OK? After that I will give you my undivided attention." Win-win...you get what you need, she gets what she needs.
And, by the way, I read once that men spell intimacy S-E-X and women spell intimacy T-A-L-K. A woman needs to feel intimate emotionally before she will feel like being physically intimate. I don't know it you are having problems in this area but you might give it a try.
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The marriage bed must be a place of mutuality—the husband seeking to satisfy his wife, the wife seeking to satisfy her husband. Marriage is not a place to "stand up for your rights." Marriage is a decision to serve the other, whether in bed or out. 1 Corinthians 7:2 (The Message)
I am a physical touch love language guy (no surprise) so I love seeing her, holding her, touching her, having her sit with me on the couch.
Conversely I hate seeing her, when she comes home and she is cold to me because she is "tired" (cop-out response, has ended a couple relationships for me in the past) or stressed out, or had a rough day, or the classic "i'm just grumpy, I can't be grumpy sometimes". I shut down, I shut her off. I will not please her, I do not reward her ****ty behavior toward me. I let her be miserable. I don't speak to her unless she speaks to me. Keep in mind, I have done nothing to deserve the cold behavior or the "hun I don't want you to sit close to me". She knows now I think. I tell her when she answers me in a rude way, or is grouchy, I just say to her. "Please don't talk to me like that" "I don't deserve it, I know you're upset, I can listen but not if you treat me like that." Or I say "I am not going to be talked to like that". She replies with a heart felt "i'm sorry" and we usually talk about what is bugging her.
This is very recent and new behavior for me and resulting in new behavior for her too.
Yes she can be grumpy, but know who you're taking it out on, and it what way.
I personally think that this is a great way to handle a situation like this. You don't take it personally and become passive-aggressive with her, you just state the facts(in a non-confrontational way) and you set boundaries for her behavior. If she needs some space and even needs to be "grumpy" fine, but she does not need to take it out on you. (Have you been reading the Married Man Sex Life by chance??) Hey, and by the way, my love languages are physicl touch and quality time.
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The marriage bed must be a place of mutuality—the husband seeking to satisfy his wife, the wife seeking to satisfy her husband. Marriage is not a place to "stand up for your rights." Marriage is a decision to serve the other, whether in bed or out. 1 Corinthians 7:2 (The Message)
Describe how it feels..... 
