Men, if you do *not* care how much money - Page 7 - Talk About Marriage
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post #91 of 100 (permalink) Old 12-23-2016, 06:30 PM Thread Starter
jld
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Re: Men, if you do *not* care how much money

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Me either, JLD. My husband is SO into it and so wants me to be too. I just can't with it.
You are too busy right now, dear. Leave the investing to him!

Yes, breastfeeding is a very natural part of mothering. It does take time, though, especially with a small baby who nurses frequently.

I am so glad I breastfed. I did it for over 15 years, and it was so helpful.

One of the deepest feminine pleasures is when a man stands full, present, and unreactive in the midst of his woman's emotional storms. When he stays present with her, and loves her through the layers of wildness and closure, then she feels his trustability, and she can relax. -- David Deida, The Way of the Superior Man
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post #92 of 100 (permalink) Old 12-23-2016, 07:44 PM
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Re: Men, if you do *not* care how much money

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I'm not English,I was born in the US.I know who Vince Lombardi was.I have lived in a lot of countries since I was born so my vocabulary probably sounds messed up to you.
I thought I remembered you lived in England. Whatever you got my point then.
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post #93 of 100 (permalink) Old 12-23-2016, 08:33 PM
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Re: Men, if you do *not* care how much money

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I thought I remembered you lived in England. Whatever you got my point then.
Have you been partying tonight lol.
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post #94 of 100 (permalink) Old 01-02-2017, 10:25 AM
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Re: Men, if you do *not* care how much money

I have been happy to be the sole provider for the last 15 years. However, during that time, she has become very unappreciative of all of the work I do to provide for the family. That has caused a great resentment in our relationship and may be the end to it. It is not a financial issue. It is a respect and appreciation issue.

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post #95 of 100 (permalink) Old 01-02-2017, 11:30 AM
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Re: Men, if you do *not* care how much money

I think there can sometimes be a tendency for a non working spouse to lose sight of what's involved in generating income.

This is natural the longer one is out of the workforce and also can be impacted by how much one was ever in it.

I know a woman whose husband has never really had a job.....they met young and she had far more earning potential because of the field she studied.

So he became a sahd and allowed her to build her career. They're still married 20 years later and he does a fine job at home.....cooks meals, cleans, runs the kids around, etc.

But I know she feels like he doesn't really appreciate what's involved in bringing in money and just spends it at will. They work through it but I think it's probably not an unusual dynamic when one spouse doesn't work outside the home.
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post #96 of 100 (permalink) Old 01-02-2017, 11:55 AM
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Re: Men, if you do *not* care how much money

Ours is similar (losing appreciation for what it takes to work 50-80 hours per week) except we eat out mostly, have cleaners come clean and both run the kids around. I work from home, so it is quite annoying that we do not get time apart and there is little appreciation for what is done. We have been very close to splitting. She is trying to show more appreciation. It is just not her style.

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post #97 of 100 (permalink) Old 01-02-2017, 01:47 PM
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Re: Men, if you do *not* care how much money

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I think there can sometimes be a tendency for a non working spouse to lose sight of what's involved in generating income.

This is natural the longer one is out of the workforce and also can be impacted by how much one was ever in it.

I know a woman whose husband has never really had a job.....they met young and she had far more earning potential because of the field she studied.

So he became a sahd and allowed her to build her career. They're still married 20 years later and he does a fine job at home.....cooks meals, cleans, runs the kids around, etc.

But I know she feels like he doesn't really appreciate what's involved in bringing in money and just spends it at will. They work through it but I think it's probably not an unusual dynamic when one spouse doesn't work outside the home.
Agreed. I'd say it probably applies also to where a spouse works but does not support the household. If I have a Starbucks gig for pocket cash and can satisfy my immediate personal needs, I'm not going to understand how my spouse making a good professional salary has money worries. If I don't see or have to worry about a mortgage, retirement planning, etc. then it's just an abstraction - something that happens to someone else.

Last edited by DTO; 01-02-2017 at 01:53 PM.
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post #98 of 100 (permalink) Old 01-02-2017, 04:33 PM
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Re: Men, if you do *not* care how much money

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Agreed. I'd say it probably applies also to where a spouse works but does not support the household. If I have a Starbucks gig for pocket cash and can satisfy my immediate personal needs, I'm not going to understand how my spouse making a good professional salary has money worries. If I don't see or have to worry about a mortgage, retirement planning, etc. then it's just an abstraction - something that happens to someone else.
That is just one of the several very important reasons that both spouses should understand finances.

Always remember the LD motto: "Sex isn't important!!!"
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post #99 of 100 (permalink) Old 01-02-2017, 09:14 PM
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Re: Men, if you do *not* care how much money

I do indeed care how much money she makes. This isn't 1940. Both spouses should be working and both should be capable of making a living on their own.

"You are talking about the nonsensical ravings of a lunatic mind!" Victor Von Frankenstein
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post #100 of 100 (permalink) Old 01-02-2017, 09:49 PM
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Re: Men, if you do *not* care how much money

Never did care.

I believe I should be able to not only support myself but a wife and children.

If I met someone who made as much or more than me it wouldn't bother me at all but I would never stop working or providing.

I believe that I should be able to take care of my family's needs regardless of how little or much my wife makes.
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