I'd give it a 50-50 whether you respond to this, or to my other post. FWIW - if you elect not to - I will leave you be, and this will be my final post to you.
The mechanics of the situation are fairly clear, your wife V2, is choosing a non active lifestyle and food she likes over passion and sex. That's simply a fact.
So far, your approach seems very 'logic/fairness' driven: I stay in shape for me/us/you, and in the spirit of reciprocity you owe me the same consideration.
First - let's get some basic stuff out of the way. I had the fitness talk with my wife (M2), before we got engaged. It was a fairly blunt exchange. She asked what I would do if she was in a severe car accident - ruined her appearance. I told her that vows are vows and in sickness and in health and in good times and bad - covered all that. And I added that indifference is the opposite of love and indifference to fitness/desirability and sex wouldn't really work for me.
That said - your approach is unlikely to work - as you are laying all this at her door, without asking any hard questions.
And I don't mean hard questions for V2. I mean questions you might have a hard time hearing the answers to.
I have never seen anyone on this site, adopt an 'ego/ self protective' posture and fix a broken sex life. If you are willing to take a hard look at this from her viewpoint, you have a shot at improving things. And if not, well - if not - I expect you are going to soon feel as if you are pushing on a string. Its a bad feeling.
I will leave you with an example of a hard question:
Why is she so unbothered by the apparent death of passion and sex?
Originally Posted by veryfrustratedude View Post
Aine, thanks for your comment. I appreciate it. I get what you're saying. I have been honest, and I do not feel like I am being shallow. I realize that there are many layers here. I truly do want to have passion and desire my wife. I do believe it's possible. I am not going to control what she does or does not do. I didn't tell her that I was going to divorce her, I just told her how I felt. I have to be able to respond to her sexually. All I am saying is, down the road, if she continues to not take care of herself, while I continue to take care of myself, it is not going to "just go away, and everything is hunky dory". Regardless of what other guys may say, trust me, IT IS AN ISSUE to some degree or another. I would never expect my wife to be height/weight proportional and maintain that unless I was willing to do it myself. I am willing to do that. I do that. It is part of my routine. I benefit from that, but so does my wife. I maintain myself, and I am not out there doing things I shouldn't do. I am faithful. I believe I am bringing this out into the open, doing it the right way, and, quite honestly, the responses by most of the females have been "your'e shallow" or "shame on you" or something similar. It's a no-win situation. Women don't want to hear that men actually care about appearance. How ridiculous is that? If I weighed 250 lbs and weighed 160 lbs when we got married, I would hope my wife would say something to me.