SO glad I got a vasectomy - Talk About Marriage
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post #1 of 28 (permalink) Old 12-25-2016, 11:11 PM Thread Starter
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SO glad I got a vasectomy

Let's just say life is much easier now. If you're wondering if you should... go for it.


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post #2 of 28 (permalink) Old 12-25-2016, 11:33 PM
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Cool Re: SO glad I got a vasectomy

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Let's just say life is much easier now. If you're wondering if you should... go for it.


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In absolute total agreement!

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post #3 of 28 (permalink) Old 12-25-2016, 11:35 PM
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Re: SO glad I got a vasectomy

Same as getting your tubes tied..... just do it!

Sooooooooooooo liberating!
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post #4 of 28 (permalink) Old 12-26-2016, 12:19 AM
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Me too. It should be much easier to move on and I will never do my two mistakes again.
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post #5 of 28 (permalink) Old 12-26-2016, 01:04 AM
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Re: SO glad I got a vasectomy

It's tempting, but I hear horror stories. Pain that won't go away, not able to get hard several years after the surgery, loss of sex drive, etc.

Same with tube tying, and all of the "one and done" birth control methods. It seems that something about them that science doesn't understand yet, sometimes just totally screws with the bodies sexual function and drive.

Makes me very, very wary.

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post #6 of 28 (permalink) Old 12-26-2016, 01:05 AM Thread Starter
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Re: SO glad I got a vasectomy

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It's tempting, but I hear horror stories. Pain that won't go away, not able to get hard several years after the surgery, loss of sex drive, etc.



Same with tube tying, and all of the "one and done" birth control methods. It seems that something about them that science doesn't understand yet, sometimes just totally screws with the bodies sexual function and drive.



Makes me very, very wary.


That's understandable. All I can say is that I did 25% more than my doctor told me as the minimum to do to recover. I had no swelling, minor discomfort within the time that was described, and was back at it in no time. In fact, ejaculation is better now than it was before.


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post #7 of 28 (permalink) Old 12-26-2016, 01:47 AM
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While every medical procedure has risks to it, I would say vasectomy is a very safe procedure in general. I had the "new" type with the no-scalpel method and was back in business a week after.

Nerve injuries are almost unheard of with this method and even the traditional one is very safe.

This compared to a tubal ligation, which requires the woman to be under full anesthesia and unless it is post-part I'm, is actually much trickier, but still very safe.
I attended many TL surgeries in OB rotation in medical school and now do the no-scalpel vasectomy myself.

The worst issue is pain afterwards as there will be some swelling, but icing it for 3-5 days should be good. Then you just have to give two spent samples that are free of sperm and you are good to go.

Finally, it is amazing how much it changes your perceptiib of sex. It really is. The women obviously love it too as they don't have to be on pill, IUD or such, which often affects hormonal state of body.
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post #8 of 28 (permalink) Old 12-26-2016, 02:03 AM
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Re: SO glad I got a vasectomy

My closest, longest friend got a vasectomy 20 years ago. He did it when stationed overseas for a year without telling his ex-wife. They had two kids already and that was all he wanted. She agreed to only two kids but he was afraid she'd stop taking her BC to have another. Yes, that was a dirt-bag move on his part but here's the kicker. She got pregnant a year later and the sh!t hit the fan. She had no idea that he had been cut and when she happily gave him the news about being pregnant he was shocked and when he told her about the cut she freaked. He eventually kicked her to the curb. It's a long, complicated story but OM dumped her too and she lost everything.

To this day my friend hurts over all of this and had problems moving on for several years after this happened. His ex was relentless in trying to get him back. He finally found a good woman and remains happily married to this day with his "second family who should have been his first," as he puts it. His kids are grown and know the whole story but still love both their parents.

So, yes. Having a vasectomy it is freeing, but in ways some men might not expect.
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post #9 of 28 (permalink) Old 12-26-2016, 02:19 AM
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First of all, the vasectomy was 20 years ago in another country. Or was it maybe done at base by a military doc? Do you know how this would have been done in most countries at that time?

Secondly, this is anecdotal data, but overall numbers are solid in favor of vasectomy vs even the pill, so what you describe could happen with anything.

Thirdly, did he ever turn in sperm samples? Maybe it wasn't fully closed. Go to India and see a country doc do vasectomy on 30 people before lunch and then compare it to here with no scalpel.

And fourth, could she have cheated on him? Because IF she was still taking birth control pills the odds of conception by raw data would be something like 0.3 X 0.15= 0.045% in a year, or 0.15% if she had stopped taking the pills, which STILL is extremely low chance, making one suspect that is what happened. 20 years ago, the paternity technology was very poor.

Of course your scenario was a tragic one, but blaming the vasectomy sounds off.habibg said that, without Sperm samples, who knows if it actually was done good enough?

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post #10 of 28 (permalink) Old 12-26-2016, 02:35 AM
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Re: SO glad I got a vasectomy

My wife worked with a lady whose husband had one done. After awhile she got pregnant. Her husband was ready to divorce her, but he went to a doctor and foundt out that tubes had grown back together. As far as I know they are still together. my doctor took out big sections and cartirized both ends. 27 years and counting without any issues. To me the worst part was the hair growing back, and the stitches drying out.
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post #11 of 28 (permalink) Old 12-26-2016, 02:45 AM
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Did he ever do a sperm count check afterwards? With good technique this is almost unheard of nowadays (0.15% failure a year), but still happens.
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post #12 of 28 (permalink) Old 12-26-2016, 05:35 AM
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Re: SO glad I got a vasectomy

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Originally Posted by WoundedTiger View Post
Me too. It should be much easier to move on and I will never do my two mistakes again.
Congratulations.

However, I'm not sure I understand the bolded. Can you elaborate?

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post #13 of 28 (permalink) Old 12-26-2016, 06:31 AM
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Re: SO glad I got a vasectomy

The husband of a former friend of my sisters had one, and for three years all was well.

Then she got pregnant and he immediately walked out. She endured the whole pregnancy alone.....after the birth tests revealed the baby was in fact his.

He tried to come back to the family but a lot of damage had been done by then. I don't know if they stayed together.

Vasectomies can fail, even years later.

My ex got one and it was nothing. He had a little pain for a couple of days and that was it.

I had my tubes done and that was quite painful, but I'm glad I did it.
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post #14 of 28 (permalink) Old 12-26-2016, 06:33 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WoundedTiger View Post
Me too. It should be much easier to move on and I will never do my two mistakes again.
Congratulations.

However, I'm not sure I understand the bolded. Can you elaborate?
got two kids, heading for divorce
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post #15 of 28 (permalink) Old 12-26-2016, 06:40 AM
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The husband of a former friend of my sisters had one, and for three years all was well.

Then she got pregnant and he immediately walked out. She endured the whole pregnancy alone.....after the birth tests revealed the baby was in fact his.

He tried to come back to the family but a lot of damage had been done by then. I don't know if they stayed together.

Vasectomies can fail, even years later.

My ex got one and it was nothing. He had a little pain for a couple of days and that was it.

I had my tubes done and that was quite painful, but I'm glad I did it.
So they did not do paternity test before she delivered then??

Think about it this way. The cumulative failure rate of a vasectomy over three years is about 0.45%, or < 1 in 200. So it is 99.55% likely she cheated on him based on that statistic.

Finally, statistics do NOT take into accord EA's and more men have been wrongfully accused than those who are guilty fathers. I think his reaction was totally natural here. 99.45% is a high number. She should have looked into this. I think the burden of proof is (maybe unfairly) entirely upon her with such numbers.
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