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post #46 of 98 (permalink) Old 12-27-2016, 03:11 PM
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Re: Overheard an awkward conversation

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Originally Posted by She'sStillGotIt View Post
LOL.

No he wouldn't.

The husband being discussed by the OP's wife and her friend probably has no idea about his wife's disappointment in his size. That's just an observation some of us women NEVER, EVER admit, even if things get incredibly ugly and there's a nasty split. Even THEN, some of us never say a word. Trust me.
Savage.
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post #47 of 98 (permalink) Old 12-27-2016, 03:33 PM
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Re: Overheard an awkward conversation

You should get the perspective of your wife about this lady.

Maybe through your wife, she could get some good advice.

Not the least of which is talking about how unsatisfying her husband's little wang is.
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post #48 of 98 (permalink) Old 12-27-2016, 03:35 PM
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Re: Overheard an awkward conversation

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Originally Posted by Mr.StrongMan View Post
I am big for her. She's a very small woman. And the fact that we never have sex only creates a "bigger" problem for her since she is getting tighter by her abstinence. And yes, it is a darn shame I'm not having sex with a woman who loves me. It's driving me crazy. Of course, I'm sure she's using the size as one more excuse for her to not have sex with me.
I heard that small women have larger vaginas because there is less weight pressing down on the vaginal cavity.
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post #49 of 98 (permalink) Old 12-27-2016, 03:36 PM
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Re: Overheard an awkward conversation

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Originally Posted by ConanHub View Post
You should get the perspective of your wife about this lady.

Maybe through your wife, she could get some good advice.

Not the least of which is talking about how unsatisfying her husband's little wang is.
I agree. I have never talked about my husband'ss equipment with any friend or family member. And i wouldn't want a freind talking her husband's with me.
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post #50 of 98 (permalink) Old 12-27-2016, 04:16 PM
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Re: Overheard an awkward conversation

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Originally Posted by LongParFour View Post
So my wife and one of her girlfriends were having a few glasses of wine, and while I was in my office I overheard a very awkward part of their conversation… The other woman was complaining about her husband, quite openly, and specifically about the size of his penis. Saying that it was simply too small. Now granted, if we are all honest I don't think there are many loin lumberjacks around, but I'm wondering if she is being fair to her guy, or if the word about average is true. My wife has zero complaints, and has said it multiple times, but I'm wondering what is really average in this department?

I know, it's kind of an awkward question, but living life outside of porn what is the threshold for being concerned?
I don't really understand why it even matters? It was another man's wife making the statements/complaints, and she thought she was doing so within the privacy of her friend group. It was really none of your business what she was saying or why, because she wasn't saying it to you and never meant for you to hear it.

To relate my own experience...I have some friends who tell all the gory details and some who don't. I have never heard a complaint about a small penis unless the friend was just dating or just having sex with him (haven't heard women saying it about their husbands, in other words). I do have one divorced friend who made a very understated hint about her ex-h's size while they were married but only once, and she never elaborated. Then after they divorced she did spill that he was so incredibly small she just couldn't work with it. That is not why they divorced though.

On the flip side, I've also heard gory details from guy friends, and have overheard things at times among guys talking when they did not know I could hear. Most of the time, the things I heard had more to do with "such and such woman is so much hotter/sexier/whatever, I wish she could have been more like that", versus specific complaints about her body, etc. Though I have also heard guys describe being with women where the fit was just not good at all (I did not speculate on whether it was because she was large or he was small or both), and of course they were not happy about this fit and usually ended it with the woman, usually without ever telling her this. And of course guys describing being with women who were hot and turned them on but who had no skills or were lazy lovers or whatever and how it didn't work out because of that.

In all cases, whether man or woman, no one was trying to be mean about their partner or ex-partner. They were just expressing themselves freely after the fact and being honest. They were not going out of their way to protect the feelings of their partner or ex, but they also didn't just slam them or say it in words that were meant to be cutting or mean.

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post #51 of 98 (permalink) Old 12-27-2016, 04:39 PM
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Re: Overheard an awkward conversation

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Originally Posted by Faithful Wife View Post
I don't really understand why it even matters? It was another man's wife making the statements/complaints, and she thought she was doing so within the privacy of her friend group. It was really none of your business what she was saying or why, because she wasn't saying it to you and never meant for you to hear it.

To relate my own experience...I have some friends who tell all the gory details and some who don't. I have never heard a complaint about a small penis unless the friend was just dating or just having sex with him (haven't heard women saying it about their husbands, in other words). I do have one divorced friend who made a very understated hint about her ex-h's size while they were married but only once, and she never elaborated. Then after they divorced she did spill that he was so incredibly small she just couldn't work with it. That is not why they divorced though.

On the flip side, I've also heard gory details from guy friends, and have overheard things at times among guys talking when they did not know I could hear. Most of the time, the things I heard had more to do with "such and such woman is so much hotter/sexier/whatever, I wish she could have been more like that", versus specific complaints about her body, etc. Though I have also heard guys describe being with women where the fit was just not good at all (I did not speculate on whether it was because she was large or he was small or both), and of course they were not happy about this fit and usually ended it with the woman, usually without ever telling her this. And of course guys describing being with women who were hot and turned them on but who had no skills or were lazy lovers or whatever and how it didn't work out because of that.

In all cases, whether man or woman, no one was trying to be mean about their partner or ex-partner. They were just expressing themselves freely after the fact and being honest. They were not going out of their way to protect the feelings of their partner or ex, but they also didn't just slam them or say it in words that were meant to be cutting or mean.
Your friends sound like they have class. I would not have responded like OP and wondered about what would generally be considered too small but wouldn't have appreciated how the woman in question was addressing a very personal and potentially marriage harming issue.

I caught Mrs. Conan commenting, favorably, about my equipment to her sister and told her in no uncertain terms not to do that with anyone unless she had my permission.

It would be one thing to talk about it in a constructive environment with friends that desire the best for both husband and wife but this scenario sounds somewhat destructive.

I hope this woman gets good advice soon. It just seems harmful to her marriage to complain about something that can't be changed on the man she vowed to forsake all others for and probably respect.

There are probably a slew of "bigger" problems in their marriage however.

Mrs. C and I have some very good friends we share everything with but they have our best interests as a married couple at heart and are trustworthy.

I'm blithering on. Stupid cold medicine!😉
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post #52 of 98 (permalink) Old 12-27-2016, 05:03 PM
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Re: Overheard an awkward conversation

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Originally Posted by ConanHub View Post
Your friends sound like they have class. I would not have responded like OP and wondered about what would generally be considered too small but wouldn't have appreciated how the woman in question was addressing a very personal and potentially marriage harming issue.

I caught Mrs. Conan commenting, favorably, about my equipment to her sister and told her in no uncertain terms not to do that with anyone unless she had my permission.

It would be one thing to talk about it in a constructive environment with friends that desire the best for both husband and wife but this scenario sounds somewhat destructive.
But...she was talking in private with her female friends. What is "destructive" about this scenario? We don't know her motivation or what was really said or what was behind her desire to discuss it. All we know is that the OP was eavesdropping on his wife's friends and what this friend said made him insecure.

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post #53 of 98 (permalink) Old 12-27-2016, 05:25 PM
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Re: Overheard an awkward conversation

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Originally Posted by Faithful Wife View Post
But...she was talking in private with her female friends. What is "destructive" about this scenario? We don't know her motivation or what was really said or what was behind her desire to discuss it. All we know is that the OP was eavesdropping on his wife's friends and what this friend said made him insecure.
I agree, a lot of information is missing and may never be known. However, if I was in OP's shoes, I would imagine that since this kind of discussion is taking place in the first place at all and boundaries of loyalty or anything else are out of the window, would the friend not expect my wife to share her thoughts and ideas (and perhaps exchange detailed measurements?) as well, to reciprocate the friendship?

It's all about extrapolation. And one of the few instances where the male brain runs ahead of that of a woman, in terms of imagination.
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post #54 of 98 (permalink) Old 12-27-2016, 05:31 PM
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Re: Overheard an awkward conversation

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Originally Posted by Faithful Wife View Post
But...she was talking in private with her female friends. What is "destructive" about this scenario? We don't know her motivation or what was really said or what was behind her desire to discuss it. All we know is that the OP was eavesdropping on his wife's friends and what this friend said made him insecure.
You're right and it could be harmless.

But complaining about being unsatisfied with your husband's penis in this situation is than likely not going to help her and her husband improve their marriage.

It could be like you have given examples of and be harmless.

I actually am unconcerned with the OP's possible curiosity or insecurity but more so with the lack of tact displayed by the wife in question.
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post #55 of 98 (permalink) Old 12-27-2016, 05:36 PM
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Re: Overheard an awkward conversation

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Originally Posted by Faithful Wife View Post
I have never heard a complaint about a small penis unless the friend was just dating or just having sex with him (haven't heard women saying it about their husbands, in other words).
Actually there is a thread running about a wife complaining getting married to a 2-inch Porridge Gun. It's anonymous, so not at all the same (maybe it's the same person? What are the odds? :-)
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post #56 of 98 (permalink) Old 12-27-2016, 08:01 PM
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Re: Overheard an awkward conversation

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Originally Posted by ConanHub View Post
You're right and it could be harmless.

But complaining about being unsatisfied with your husband's penis in this situation is than likely not going to help her and her husband improve their marriage.

It could be like you have given examples of and be harmless.

I actually am unconcerned with the OP's possible curiosity or insecurity but more so with the lack of tact displayed by the wife in question.

"In this situation" = talking privately to her girlfriends.

"Lack of tact" = even though we don't know exactly what was said, what the context was, or what she was trying to convey.


The thing is, with a lot of sex or marriage problems, we simply don't know how to ask someone for advice, help or guidance. So we might just "blurt" the issue out amongst our friends just to see if anyone tosses back anything useful.

What I would imagine was really happening here was a wife who is dissatisfied with her sex life, in her mind it is due to her husband's lacking size (though we don't know exactly what was said or what else may be going on), and in this situation she may have thought her friends would have some suggestions on how to work with it and have good sex anyway. (I have actually seen a few threads by women on various forums in basically that same situation and she was simply asking for ideas or positions that would feel better for her).

OTOH, sure, if she was just being mean and spreading bad info about her husband and simply complaining out of the blue about his small penis, then wow, that is not a very good thing for a wife to do. But we don't know that. I don't see any reason to assume the worst of her though just based on the OP's post. Not enough information.

Look guys, I realize this topic is something you'd rather no woman ever uttered anything about, EVER. But the fact is that yes, sometimes we women do discuss things like how penis shape and size affect our sex lives. And yes, sometimes we will be completely honest even if that wouldn't flatter you. The reason is because we aren't talking to YOU about it, we are talking to our friends about it. Similarly, men don't talk to their wife/girlfriend the same way they talk in lockers rooms when sharing about issues and asking for guidance sometimes. And all you men know it would hurt our feelings if we overheard some of the things you say. But you don't intend for us to hear it, and for that reason, IMO, its really none of our business. Same goes for women in general, and the wife in the OP's post specifically.

Remember the goal of feminism: Making sure only alphas get laid!
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post #57 of 98 (permalink) Old 12-28-2016, 03:19 AM
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Overheard an awkward conversation

I'm pretty confident about things though I always assumed I was smaller than average. Based on one of these stupid TAM threads, for grins I measured and found I wasn't small at all but thicker than normal. It's all perspective, and my W's view is WAY closer and different than mine.

No matter... many women don't even enjoy PIV (according to a sex therapist I saw). And as @aine pointed out, there are many ways to have fun.

I guess if you're small or big, find someone who enjoys small or big guys. There is no real objective problem here - just one more type of comparability to consider in a LTR



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post #58 of 98 (permalink) Old 12-28-2016, 03:52 AM
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Re: Overheard an awkward conversation

I think it's slightly hypercritical to criticize someone for confiding in a few trusted friends, in private, about a very sensitive issue, but think that it's OK to come to a place like TAM and discuss equally (if not more) intimate things in great depth with a bunch of perfect strangers... The woman in question had no way of knowing that her friend's H was evesdropping, and probably felt completely safe soliciting the advice of her friends in the privacy of one of their homes...

If, on the other hand, the woman was ridiculing her H in any way, that would be a different matter altogether.

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post #59 of 98 (permalink) Old 12-28-2016, 04:50 AM
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Re: Overheard an awkward conversation

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If on the other hand the woman was ridiculing her H in any way, that would be a different matter altogether.
Even if she were ridiculing him, she thought she was talking in confidence to her best friend. She wasn't announcing it on a billboard or posting it on Facebook or trying to shame him in any way. Life isn't all unicorns and rainbows and sometimes people are frustrated or disappointed and just want to confide in their close friends beause they know it will go no farther than that. It happens. Big deal.

And guys, that silly argument about being cavernous is a stretch (no pun intended). Women don't even need to take their clothes off to know if a guy is small or not. You can pretty much make that assessment visually the minute he's naked and at 'full' potential.
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post #60 of 98 (permalink) Old 12-28-2016, 07:03 AM
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Overheard an awkward conversation

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Originally Posted by She'sStillGotIt View Post
Even if she were ridiculing him, she thought she was talking in confidence to her best friend. She wasn't announcing it on a billboard or posting it on Facebook or trying to shame him in any way. Life isn't all unicorns and rainbows and sometimes people are frustrated or disappointed and just want to confide in their close friends beause they know it will go no farther than that. It happens. Big deal.

And guys, that silly argument about being cavernous is a stretch (no pun intended). Women don't even need to take their clothes off to know if a guy is small or not. You can pretty much make that assessment visually the minute he's naked and at 'full' potential.


Yeah no. I strongly disagree. There are boundaries and there is loyalty. That woman crossed the line. Small penis bothering her is not something her husband can do much about.
Also disagree about hypocriticism by posting about very personal issues on anonymous forums. The clue is in the word "anonymous". It is not remotely the same. Even telling your shrink about personal problems is more personal than forums!!


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