Logically how can love exist? - Page 5 - Talk About Marriage
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post #61 of 68 (permalink) Old 01-20-2017, 07:12 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Logically how can love exist?

Who knows, she's cute and acts innocent but she does have a sound mind. It's her responsibility in the end to make her own decisions, I've already been honest with her.

As for trust, it just takes time. We've only been together a few months.
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post #62 of 68 (permalink) Old 01-20-2017, 09:07 AM
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Re: Logically how can love exist?

RD, you have some brilliant advice and feedback on here. And as always, our lovely friend FIP has you pegged.

You are right, trust does take time, but your barriers are much thicker than most people's. You intentionally seek out flaws and reasons why things should go south. Until you deal with that, no woman will ever earn your trust. There are good people out there who deserve a chance, but trust goes both ways. Even the best woman is going to get tired of defending herself to you.
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post #63 of 68 (permalink) Old 01-20-2017, 09:40 AM
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Re: Logically how can love exist?

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Originally Posted by RandomDude View Post
When I was young I didn't care about success, what drove me was my daughter. But now that I have enough to set aside for her and myself, I want to go back to being happy go-lucky me!

My semi retirement involves full time study, a complete career change, as well as getting more free time in the air and maybe become an instructor. I want to pursue my passions, and having a girlfriend feels like a burden.

She says she will support me in whatever decision I make, why can't I believe that?
Do you trust her. I do. But then, I only like what you have written about her. Reality might not align with her truth-table.


This is such an easy decision for most people. The caveat is trust.

Trust her to have your back.
Trust her with your bat and balls. Will she step out of your ball field and seek another bat for her glove? Will she soon only hit foul balls. Those balls that are attached to you.
Trust her with your money.
Trust her to keep her word.
Trust her to remain the same. No one stays the same for decades or a lifetime.
Trust her to keep you committed. Will you tire of her?

You trust yourself. You can be alone and trust only yourself. Is this what you want? Are you a Closet Hermit? A loner boner?

Do you need a women to complement your life. A women that you can look at proudly. A women you can touch and make love to whenever it suits yours' and her fancy!
She would be your' women. A women that looks great in a negligee?

Or can you wait, a few weeks at a time while you find another one, groom her, and then when she gets too close, dump her? How many women will you go through before you realize that this is not quite satisfying. When grooming you must be an actor, not a genuine man. Some men like the chase, not the capture. Kinda like a dog chasing a car. What does the dog do with the car when he catches up to it?

She said she is happy with you. And happy with your plans. How much more happy can you downplay and ignore?
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post #64 of 68 (permalink) Old 01-20-2017, 11:48 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Logically how can love exist?

Erm... it's like, 3 months or so... we're still newish
Actually a little more than 3 months... I've known her 6 months total, 3 months as friends.
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post #65 of 68 (permalink) Old 01-20-2017, 11:53 AM
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Re: Logically how can love exist?

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Erm... it's like, 3 months or so... we're still newish
Actually a little more than 3 months... I've known her 6 months total, 3 months as friends.
Right. So give her a shot. Continue being honest with each other; that is a great place to start! Let her in a little at a time; allow her to do the same for you. And stop looking for reasons why it won't work.
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post #66 of 68 (permalink) Old 01-20-2017, 12:00 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Logically how can love exist?

Nah, not doing that anymore. I've done enough to let her know sticking with me is a bad idea but she's sticking with me regardless so whatever. Her problem

I can't choose to trust or mistrust somebody, if someone earns my trust they also have my fear because their word has power. Cuddlebunny is still, well, just a cuddlebunny. Let time run its course.
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post #67 of 68 (permalink) Old 01-20-2017, 12:21 PM
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Re: Logically how can love exist?

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Nah, not doing that anymore. I've done enough to let her know sticking with me is a bad idea but she's sticking with me regardless so whatever. Her problem

I can't choose to trust or mistrust somebody, if someone earns my trust they also have my fear because their word has power. Cuddlebunny is still, well, just a cuddlebunny. Let time run its course.
Fair enough, RD.
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post #68 of 68 (permalink) Old 01-20-2017, 05:36 PM
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Re: Logically how can love exist?

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Nah, not doing that anymore. I've done enough to let her know sticking with me is a bad idea but she's sticking with me regardless so whatever. Her problem
LOL. I used to say things like that .... 20 years ago.

As long as you are honest and true to yourself, then I think you're absolutely right to let her make her own decisions.

Just be aware, though, that you really are actively pushing people away from you. And while this may make sense to you as a short term protective strategy, it's not necessarily the best approach for the long term. There's lots to be gained by breaking down the walls and letting people in.
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