I am trapped in a relationship. - Talk About Marriage
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post #1 of 26 (permalink) Old 01-10-2017, 02:47 AM Thread Starter
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I am trapped in a relationship.

So I have only been in 2 very serious relationships, my first girlfriend and I were together for 3 years. She was 14 and I was 16 when we started dating. We took each other V card and almost grew up and matured together. We broke up because I was a typical young guy that wanted to be with all the other girls but wanted her to stick with me. About 6 months later I met my current girlfriend which is two years older than I am.

Being older than I am I believed that it would be a much more mature relationship. In the beginning sex was FANTASTIC she would surprise me with sex and make a effort to satisfy my sexual desires. And then about 1 year in everything changed like a flip of a switch. She became over attached and jealous to the point where I had to remove myself from every social media website, she deleted all my contacts off my phone and monitored my phone on a daily basis. I thought it was just a stage and she would get over it as I didn't do anything to make her doubt me, after another year of over jealous rages and fits whenever we go somewhere it just got worse. When we watch TV and she sees the age restriction shows sex and nudity she changes the channel or covers my eyes like I am 12 years old. She also stopped wanting to have sex or let me explore her body (I am not allowed to see her nude) we have spoken about it and it always end in a argument or a physical fight where she would scratch my neck or even punch me in the face and then later she would tell me she is sorry and that she knows she is wrong but she will change. I have now become resentful towards her for treating me like a criminal always making me feel like I have done something wrong. Due to some unfortunate life circumstances I was homeless and moved in with her and her folks during our relationship, I don't earn enough money to live on my own and regardless of me telling her time and time again I want to move out with her, she refuses to work and just doesn't me serious.

A couple of weeks ago we had a argument that once again became physical, I told her I would leave her, she then told me that she knows where I work and would make my life hell if I had to leave her, she threatened to tell my bosses I smoke pot, and she would also damage my car by blowing off my Tyres and breaking my windows, petrified of losing my job and not having anywhere else to stay I am forced to make peace with her. I have no idea what to do as I know this girl isn't right for me but I am trapped and have no way out?

Anyone have some advice on what I should do? I really need some help as I am being abused and I am not even married?


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post #2 of 26 (permalink) Old 01-10-2017, 02:52 AM
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Re: I am trapped in a relationship.

Dump her!

The End.
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post #3 of 26 (permalink) Old 01-10-2017, 02:53 AM Thread Starter
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Re: I am trapped in a relationship.

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Dump her!



The End.


And then risk losing my Job, and being homeless?


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post #4 of 26 (permalink) Old 01-10-2017, 03:00 AM
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Re: I am trapped in a relationship.

If you want the abuse to end remove yourself from it, if you don't want it to end stay there.

Life is untidy and unfair, if you don't like something do something about it.

Oh and the next time she starts hitting you, call the police.
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post #5 of 26 (permalink) Old 01-10-2017, 03:07 AM
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Re: I am trapped in a relationship.

If you don't make much money , why are you spending it on pot?

Quit the pot and you won't lose your job.




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post #6 of 26 (permalink) Old 01-10-2017, 04:29 AM
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Re: I am trapped in a relationship.

Honey, I'm old enough to be your mum, so I'm going to give you some mum advice and tough love.

You are not trapped anywhere. You have free will and can choose to exercise it at any time.

Stop smoking pot, save your money and move out. Never see or speak to her again.
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post #7 of 26 (permalink) Old 01-10-2017, 05:35 AM
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Re: I am trapped in a relationship.

Tell her you'll call the cops on her. Crash on someone else's couch. Get your **** in order and get poisonous people out of your lives. She won't call your boss. People threaten stuff all the time.
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post #8 of 26 (permalink) Old 01-10-2017, 05:43 AM
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Re: I am trapped in a relationship.

Also consider getting a restraining order.

One of the deepest feminine pleasures is when a man stands full, present, and unreactive in the midst of his woman's emotional storms. When he stays present with her, and loves her through the layers of wildness and closure, then she feels his trustability, and she can relax. -- David Deida, The Way of the Superior Man
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post #9 of 26 (permalink) Old 01-10-2017, 06:17 AM
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Re: I am trapped in a relationship.

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Originally Posted by official_jay View Post
When we watch TV and she sees the age restriction shows sex and nudity she changes the channel or covers my eyes like I am 12 years old.


Anyways, dump her, who cares if she tells your bosses you smoke pot, just tell everyone she's a crazy b-tch (which she is) and it'll pass. Who cares about her threats, if she wants to carry them out, she'll have to suffer the consequences. In fact, why not dare her to carry out her threats, much more fun!
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post #10 of 26 (permalink) Old 01-10-2017, 06:28 AM Thread Starter
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Re: I am trapped in a relationship.

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Honey, I'm old enough to be your mum, so I'm going to give you some mum advice and tough love.



You are not trapped anywhere. You have free will and can choose to exercise it at any time.



Stop smoking pot, save your money and move out. Never see or speak to her again.


Maybe I should have mentioned I work for the same company as her mom? It's difficult to just leave? Also both my parents have passed away so I appreciate the motherly feedback. I have recently decided to quit the pot which I don't pay for (I have a awesome dealer) maybe posting this wasn't the best idea as it's difficult to explain my situation without getting constructive judgement. It's almost like telling a woman that is being abused to just leave. It never works because life situations force you to stay where you are. Another thing, not being racist but it's difficult for a young white male to get a job where I am from.


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post #11 of 26 (permalink) Old 01-10-2017, 06:37 AM
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Re: I am trapped in a relationship.

Get another job. You'd have to if they fired you right?
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post #12 of 26 (permalink) Old 01-10-2017, 06:56 AM
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Re: I am trapped in a relationship.

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Anyways, dump her, who cares if she tells your bosses you smoke pot, just tell everyone she's a crazy b-tch (which she is) and it'll pass. Who cares about her threats, if she wants to carry them out, she'll have to suffer the consequences. In fact, why not dare her to carry out her threats, much more fun!
Why encouraging him to escalate this?

Just get out and move on, OP. And check what legal protection may be available to you. A domestic violence shelter may be helpful with that.

One of the deepest feminine pleasures is when a man stands full, present, and unreactive in the midst of his woman's emotional storms. When he stays present with her, and loves her through the layers of wildness and closure, then she feels his trustability, and she can relax. -- David Deida, The Way of the Superior Man
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post #13 of 26 (permalink) Old 01-10-2017, 07:41 AM
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Re: I am trapped in a relationship.

I think we all know that it's not easy to just cut the cord. But it seems like you could at least start taking steps in that direction. You work full-time, right? You certainly make enough money to start looking at apartments or to to rent a room in someone else's apartment. The point is that you have to get out of this toxic relationship sooner, rather than later. Start saving up some money and give yourself a goal of 3 months to find an apartment and move out. Warn your boss in advance that your girlfriend is acting crazy and might cause a problem when you leave her.

I don't know what is legal in your state, but you should consider wearing a voice-activated recorder (or finding a suitable app on your phone) to record her threats. You can at least use these as leverage against her.

The sooner you get out of this, the sooner your life starts.
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post #14 of 26 (permalink) Old 01-10-2017, 07:43 AM
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Re: I am trapped in a relationship.

Buddy if she threw you out tomorrow you would have to get on with it.You are not a prisoner and you are not a child.Stay at a shelter if you have to or sleep in your car but get out of this toxic situation that you are in.If you are in a full time job you must be earning enough to rent a room at least.Stop making excuses and leave.
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post #15 of 26 (permalink) Old 01-10-2017, 08:00 AM
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Re: I am trapped in a relationship.

How old are you? Did you graduate high school? Any technical training? What are your plans to GET technical training so that you become valuable to employers?

As for her, you need to be proactive. Go to her mother and tell her mother that the relationship isn't working and here's why: blah blah blah. Tell her what her daughter's doing.

Then go to your boss and inform him that you're breaking up with your girlfriend but she's turning out to be batsh*t crazy and you just wanted to warn him in case she tries to upset the cart.

Then go to your girlfriend and tell her if she does anything that's illegal or threatening, you will call the police.

Once you do all those things, she has nothing to hold over your head.
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