nicole8125

hi, i cant figure out y my man wont finger me or go down on me. what r some reasons from a guys point of view y u wouldnt do this 4 the woman u r supposed 2 love? please b honest. maybe he doesnt find me attractive? but we have sex and i give him oral. i feel emotionally disconnected from him cuz he was selfish and i am fed up! the other day we had sex and for the 2nd time out of this whole year i felt so good cuz he was focused on me during sex. now mind u there was a period of us being abstinant 4 9 months untill recently. im so lost and cheating is NOT an option for me!! i am not going 2 give up i have been faithful this long i refuse 2 cheat!
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Trying2figureitout

Nicole,

Have you actually mentioned this to him yet? Have you been specific about what you desire with him? What has his response been? What did he say?

PBear

Why are you giving him oral if he won't give it back to you?

Sorry, I have no idea what's going on in his mind. My partner's pleasure has always been as important to me as my own, and is the biggest turn in if the whole experience. Based on what you've said, he's a very selfish lover, and I doubt he'll change untill he's pushed to change. You could try picking up some "his n hers" oral sex books and tell him you want to improve your techniques, but I suspect subtlety will be lost on him.

C
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michzz

I agree, you have to speak up. If he is ignorant of what you need or just doesn't care, you have to find out.

You need information to make a change.

So does he.

If he just is clueless, you will give him a clue.

If he doesn't care? Wow, you have information to decide whether you want a man who doesn't care about your pleasure

nicole8125

he said hes been thinking about the oral part. im so close 2 going back 2 being abstinant @ least i wouldnt be cheating if i was 2 go back 2 that. i think he is afraid i will cheat on him. i havent not even 1 time!! im so lost!!

QUOTE=PBear;515021]Why are you giving him oral if he won't give it back to you?

Sorry, I have no idea what's going on in his mind. My partner's pleasure has always been as important to me as my own, and is the biggest turn in if the whole experience. Based on what you've said, he's a very selfish lover, and I doubt he'll change untill he's pushed to change. You could try picking up some "his n hers" oral sex books and tell him you want to improve your techniques, but I suspect subtlety will be lost on him.

C
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nice777guy

Is this a "new" issue for him? Has he done this in the past?

Obviously - hygiene is the only real issue I can think of. Nothing crazy - just regular showers and such. Trimming up a bit is nice - but not necessary.

If I'm being TOTALLY honest - I would say that it is truly an acquired taste. The VERY FIRST TIME I did it - about 100 years ago - it took some time to get used to. But - after that first time - you begin to associate the taste with good sex, which makes it taste FANTASTIC!!!

And I hate the idea of this - but I would also wonder if you should stop providing him with oral sex unless he returns the favor or gives a reasonable explanation.

There are also all kinds of gels and creams you can buy - some are mainly for him - some will provide you with a tingly sensation as well. Might be worth a shot...

__________________
“Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity!" - Carlin

Trying2figureitout

I agree nix all oral for him until he goes down on you! No way you should do that without getting some too. In fact tell him that and that he has to bring you to orgasm through oral and fingering before he gets any more BJ's. Give him a goal to obtain.

Its good for him he will end up loving it... I love tasting my wife.

OOE

I disagree very strongly with the idea that you should withhold anything. You're doing it for him, right? So not doing it would be basically punishment for not getting what you want.

Rather, really work on talking to him. Let him know how important it is to you. Make sure you tell him it would help you feel connected to him - the connection aspect of sex is something men really get.

Also, suggest 69. Talk about positive reinforcement!

(Showering together right before would also be a good thing, just in case he has a hangup about cleanliness.)

nicole8125

he has never did oral on me. i told him i would shave he says he doesnt like it like that. but he says it has to b clean and it is. i take a shower before and all that. he said it is sacred and if he does no other man better not b getting any. but he is THE ONLY man i have been with thiswhole year!! and if i stop giving him oral, what if he goes somewher else? i would b totally devistated if he were 2 cheat on me, and if he were ever 2 recieve oral from another woman, to me that is still considered cheating in my book!!!
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Lon

NEVER?! Has he gone down on ANY woman in the past? If not he doesn't know what he is missing. Either he is selfish, or afraid. Are you married to him? Is everything else in your relationship worth giving up this particular show of affection and giving of pleasure? If not, and he doesn't have any inclination to give you pleasure, I say move on...

nicole8125

nope not married and will never be....
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agentem

My wife won't go down on me and slaps my hand when I try to touch her. Once in a rare while she'll let me, but she says orgasms aren't worth the effort. FML

CH

LOL, the thing is every girl has a different taste just as every guys junk smells different and the man juice has a different taste depending their diet.

My wife used to hate being eaten out but now a days once I start kissing her stomach those legs open up wife for me to go down. Damn, making myself horny talking about it and it's her time of the month

Even if there is no smell, it is an acquired taste. I'm pretty sure you don't won't him throwing up all over you after a single lick.

You can try some saran wrap to cover over the area and let him practice on with, that way he's not actually tasting any juices but you still get the enjoyment out of it. That's how I started out with my wife, not because I was afraid of the taste but because she's never done it before.

Mistys dad

Please don't generalize your specific issue to "all men".

We are not with you, he is with you.

Just because he does or doesn't do something, doesn't mean that every man, everywhere is the same.

And "text talk" is really difficult to read.

jman

+1, waiting for cliffs notes to be published