ConanHub it won't let me quote you, but I think you are right about the affair issue. She has said some things lately that can only be received as attempting to bait me into arguments. For example, she is in Colorado currently helping a friend move and said she "found a girlfriend" and is "going to have sex with her". To which I said, that happens and you can expect to be out on your a$$ divorced, alone, and broke before you know what's going on. Needless to say it went downhill from there. I'm at a loss here, she has become intentionally hurtful. What are your thoughts?
Sorry for that. Was distracted by sex threads LOL!
I honestly do not believe she is in any way ready to be a girlfriend much less wife.
My first suggestion would be to get your legal ducks in a row by consulting with a lawyer to at least get a picture of where you would stand in a divorce and how to protect yourself legally.
I think you should proceed with it but if you are convinced she is worth some serious blood, sweat and tears then just get the paperwork done without filing or having her served yet.
Get the paperwork done at least so you can have a somber talk with your wife about how your divorce will look.
You notice I'm not mentioning threatening divorce but actually preparing it?
Your wife is acting like you and her marriage are a joke. She is behaving like it is a tv comedy drama.
You need to behave like it is real. She needs to see it.
Now if she is able to be rational at all discussing divorce, you will be on a good track.
If she flips out and continues to act immature, then file and have her served, following the advice of your lawyer in what actions you should take. I advise immediate separation physically if possible.
If she reacts by becoming broken and sorrowful while expressing a desire to stay married to you, then you have to have a plan in place to build a marriage together that will require both of you.
Unless she expresses some form of negative emotion over losing you and tells you she wants to keep your marriage, I've got no other advice.
If she wants to save her marriage, and you do too, then I have several ideas for directions you two can take.
Without your willingness to put a stop to this farce and her willingness to make it a real marriage, then no plan is worth talking about.
If you want to take a different path and want to determine if she is cheating.
Getting expertise with keyloggers, phone spying apps and voice activated recorders are the way to go.
There is a thread on CWI here that is called The Standard Evidence Thread by weightlifter.
Best wishes mate!