Would you mind elaborating? I'd like to know especially what you consider the negatives and why.
OK, I'll give you the specific because it could help you. Try not to think of it a a personal fault, but more of the way you presented the information turned me away.
You original post included this:
2. Told you she'd never once achieved orgasm through PIV sex due to her husband's lack of concern about her sexual needs.
Now I know that there are plenty of women who don't orgasm with PIV sex, But what you are saying here is that it is all his fault. (and that is likely true in your case) But, it also says that you lived with this problem for 2 decades without taking a proactive ownership of your own satisfaction. You were willing to suffer in silence indefinitely, because he was selfish. There is nothing there to indicate what your Actions were to fix it. I'm rambling. You had a problem, but you didn't own it and take steps to fix it. I'm actually assuming that you tried many times to solve the problem.
Now I understand that I am not seeing the whole picture. My suggestion is that you rephrase that statement so you look more active in trying to solve the problem. for example, "I've never had an orgasm with PIV sex. No matter how much I coached him my husband, who I was faithful to, wouldn't last long enough to get me there." Focus on You. Leave the Ex out of the conversation.
That is the best advice I can offer to you going from where you are. Your most positive features are that you were sexually faithful through a difficult marriage. You continued to seek sexual satisfaction on a regular basis. And you are willing to try again.
About the vibes: Like men with porn you accustom your sexual response to the particular sensation, in this case vibrators. If you want to achieve orgasm with PIV sex you will need to retrain your response. I'd suggest working with a non vibrating toy of average size. Even that may not work. New research is saying that position of the clitoris in relation to the vaginal opening is an accurate indicator of ability to orgasm PIV. You may need to add in clitoral stimulation.
Honestly I don't want you to think I am picking on you. The same statement could affect another man in a completely different way.