Guys, would you get involved with a 40-something woman who:
1. Has never had PIV sex with anyone but her ex-husband of almost 25 years although she did engage in non PIV sexual behavior with a few guys before him
2. Told you she'd never once achieved orgasm through PIV sex due to her husband's lack of concern about her sexual needs
3. Has never had sex in any position other than missionary, doggy, or spoons?
4. Has been in a 100% sexless marriage for the last 13 years except for frequent solo sessions with her toy collection?
Would you consider this woman to be a challenge to see if you could make her enjoy sex, or would you consider her to be too high risk of being LD?
I've been married over 20 years, but IF I were single:
1. Absolutely no problem with this scenario.
2. No problem with that, either, except I would question whether it to be true or not. It's hard to believe that any man would not be concerned about his wife's sexual needs, though I'm sure there are some out there. This is only a "yellow flag" to me until I got to know her better.
3. I would also wonder about this, too, though it is possible. There are men out there like that. Again, not a problem that I would concern myself with.
4. Sexless marriages happen, but I still would have to know her better to just take her word for it. The fact that she does have a toy collection tells me that she does actually enjoy sexual release.
As for being concerned that she is LD, yes and no. I would make sure to come out and ask how important sex is to her, and align it with how important it is to me. If they don't match in every respect as to importance, I would probably move on. Sexual compatibility is VERY important to a long term relationship. I would certainly make it a point to make sure that she understands that my sex drive is just as important as hers, and needs to be fulfilled just like I intend to fulfill her needs.
The point is, don't settle for less than you're willing to live with. No sex? No way! Of course, I have always been HD, so I wouldn't settle for anything less that 4 times a week personally. My wife and I still have sex 5 to 6 times a week. I am 55, and she is 51. Unless there was an illness, surgery, or an injury of some sort, it has always been at least that frequency.