Sex & dating question for the guys - Page 3 - Talk About Marriage
The Men's Clubhouse Talk about life's dilemmas.

User Tag List

 33Likes
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
post #31 of 58 (permalink) Old 01-29-2017, 03:17 PM
Member
 
RandomDude's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 11,153
Re: Sex & dating question for the guys

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hellomynameis View Post
Guys, would you get involved with a 40-something woman who:

1. Has never had PIV sex with anyone but her ex-husband of almost 25 years although she did engage in non PIV sexual behavior with a few guys before him

And

2. Told you she'd never once achieved orgasm through PIV sex due to her husband's lack of concern about her sexual needs

And

3. Has never had sex in any position other than missionary, doggy, or spoons?

And

4. Has been in a 100% sexless marriage for the last 13 years except for frequent solo sessions with her toy collection?

Would you consider this woman to be a challenge to see if you could make her enjoy sex, or would you consider her to be too high risk of being LD?
I'll give her a few months of sexing and see if there's progress
RandomDude is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #32 of 58 (permalink) Old 01-29-2017, 03:30 PM
Member
 
DustyDog's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: Edging slowly closer to the frozen tundra
Posts: 464
Re: Sex & dating question for the guys

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hellomynameis View Post
Guys, would you get involved with a 40-something woman who:

1. Has never had PIV sex with anyone but her ex-husband of almost 25 years although she did engage in non PIV sexual behavior with a few guys before him

And

2. Told you she'd never once achieved orgasm through PIV sex due to her husband's lack of concern about her sexual needs

And

3. Has never had sex in any position other than missionary, doggy, or spoons?

And

4. Has been in a 100% sexless marriage for the last 13 years except for frequent solo sessions with her toy collection?

Would you consider this woman to be a challenge to see if you could make her enjoy sex, or would you consider her to be too high risk of being LD?
I would want to gain some experience with her. #1, 2 and 3 are common. I've known a few women for whom orgasm could only be achieved through oral. As long as they're eager to participate and help me understand their needs, it's all good. I've met very few women who found doggy or spoon comfortable. Mind you, although I'm old, I was never a stud, so my entire lifetime of experience is just about a dozen, not much of a sample size. Of that dozen, only about a third were interested in doing oral, while almost all enjoyed being on the receiving end.

I don't think #4 has any bearing on your decision, unless you think her willingness to stay for 13 years is a bad sign.

There are three kinds of business. Your business, my business and God's business. Whose business are you in? -Byron Katie
DustyDog is offline  
post #33 of 58 (permalink) Old 01-29-2017, 03:37 PM
Member
 
2ntnuf's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: PA
Posts: 13,989
Re: Sex & dating question for the guys

She sounds like she could be a hell of a lot of fun. I figure it this way.

She liked sex well enough to try different positions.

She does more than just piv.

She is innovative and adventurous because she thought to get some toys and use them till they burned up. I just added the burned up part for some humor.

She isn't afraid to try new things.

She's got great character and doesn't make rash decisions.

Good to go. I wonder what her personality is like? I wonder what kinds of movies she likes? Does she eat popcorn while watching or some kind of candy, or maybe something else? Does she like butter on her popcorn or plain?


"I'm significant!! Screamed the dust speck." - Bill Watterson

"And this, too, shall pass away."
2ntnuf is offline  
post #34 of 58 (permalink) Old 01-31-2017, 12:45 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Midwest
Posts: 2,701
Re: Sex & dating question for the guys

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hellomynameis View Post

2. Told you she'd never once achieved orgasm through PIV sex due to her husband's lack of concern about her sexual needs
Keep in mind that many women don't orgasm via PIV even if their partner is concerned about their sexual needs.
Buddy400 is online now  
post #35 of 58 (permalink) Old 01-31-2017, 02:13 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 1,028
Re: Sex & dating question for the guys

Sure, why not.

Challenge is a good way to look at it.

Danger of being LD? Only if you are planning to wait until marriage .

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hellomynameis View Post
Guys, would you get involved with a 40-something woman who:

1. Has never had PIV sex with anyone but her ex-husband of almost 25 years although she did engage in non PIV sexual behavior with a few guys before him

And

2. Told you she'd never once achieved orgasm through PIV sex due to her husband's lack of concern about her sexual needs (but orgasms easily through oral or manual stimulation)

And

3. Has never had sex in any position other than missionary, doggy, or spoons?

And

4. Has been in a 100% sexless marriage for the last 13 years except for frequent solo sessions with her toy collection?

Would you consider this woman to be a challenge to see if you could make her enjoy sex, or would you consider her to be too high risk of being LD?
anonmd is online now  
post #36 of 58 (permalink) Old 01-31-2017, 05:17 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2016
Posts: 44
Re: Sex & dating question for the guys

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hellomynameis View Post
If I were with another man, I would love to have him take it as a challenge that I had never had a PIV orgasm and see if he could do it. But I get what you're saying that it might not even be possible. Not that I mind as long as the guy is providing that direct stimulation during PIV. The few times my STBX actually bothered it was pretty amazing. Unfortunately as it turned out the times he was really good to me in bed were because he was feeling guilty about having screwed someone else just hours previously.
Oh I bet the combination of PIV + a magic wand or another good vibe would get you there. I believe statistically a majority of women can never O from PIV alone. But "PIV+"? I bet most women could have great O's from that.
gr8ful1 is online now  
post #37 of 58 (permalink) Old 01-31-2017, 05:28 PM
Forum Supporter
 
arbitrator's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Central Texas/Brazos Valley
Posts: 11,705
Cool Re: Sex & dating question for the guys

Why not? We're new to each other!

If I'm going to be disappointed, let me find out all of my own accord! There are certainly some consummate "deal breakers" in the sexual arena just as there are in the non-sexual one!

"To love another person is to see the face of God!" - Jean Valjean from Les Miserables

My Story!
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
arbitrator is online now  
post #38 of 58 (permalink) Old 02-27-2017, 02:04 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 39
Re: Sex & dating question for the guys

Quote:
Originally Posted by Wolf1974 View Post
If I found out all this Infirmation up front I would very likely pass on dating that woman. We would be a mismatch.
Hate to say it, but I agree with this. That would throw off major red flags for me.

Have you considered getting some FWBs to get more experience? Nothing wrong with that. You're an adult. And it may get you over the hump (pun not intended, but it's funny now that I read it).

Are you asking this because you've been turned down or have you not started dating yet? Also, I wouldn't bring this up on a first date or even very early in a possible relationship. Who knows? it could be irrelevant and you could happen to meet someone who you have immediate and intense chemistry with and you might surprise yourself. I'm a strong believer in chemistry between people. There are just the "ones" that rock your world.

And, yes, for many it absolutely would be an exciting challenge to try and crack that nut, for some men. So, that could be fun for you as well.
DonaldDuck666 is offline  
post #39 of 58 (permalink) Old 02-27-2017, 04:23 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 496
Re: Sex & dating question for the guys

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hellomynameis View Post
Guys, would you get involved with a 40-something woman who:

1. Has never had PIV sex with anyone but her ex-husband of almost 25 years although she did engage in non PIV sexual behavior with a few guys before him

And

2. Told you she'd never once achieved orgasm through PIV sex due to her husband's lack of concern about her sexual needs

And

3. Has never had sex in any position other than missionary, doggy, or spoons?

And

4. Has been in a 100% sexless marriage for the last 13 years except for frequent solo sessions with her toy collection?

Would you consider this woman to be a challenge to see if you could make her enjoy sex, or would you consider her to be too high risk of being LD?
I've been married over 20 years, but IF I were single:

1. Absolutely no problem with this scenario.

2. No problem with that, either, except I would question whether it to be true or not. It's hard to believe that any man would not be concerned about his wife's sexual needs, though I'm sure there are some out there. This is only a "yellow flag" to me until I got to know her better.

3. I would also wonder about this, too, though it is possible. There are men out there like that. Again, not a problem that I would concern myself with.

4. Sexless marriages happen, but I still would have to know her better to just take her word for it. The fact that she does have a toy collection tells me that she does actually enjoy sexual release.

As for being concerned that she is LD, yes and no. I would make sure to come out and ask how important sex is to her, and align it with how important it is to me. If they don't match in every respect as to importance, I would probably move on. Sexual compatibility is VERY important to a long term relationship. I would certainly make it a point to make sure that she understands that my sex drive is just as important as hers, and needs to be fulfilled just like I intend to fulfill her needs.

The point is, don't settle for less than you're willing to live with. No sex? No way! Of course, I have always been HD, so I wouldn't settle for anything less that 4 times a week personally. My wife and I still have sex 5 to 6 times a week. I am 55, and she is 51. Unless there was an illness, surgery, or an injury of some sort, it has always been at least that frequency.
Luvher4life is offline  
post #40 of 58 (permalink) Old 03-01-2017, 08:24 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 172
Re: Sex & dating question for the guys

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hellomynameis View Post
Guys, would you get involved with a 40-something woman who:

1. Has never had PIV sex with anyone but her ex-husband of almost 25 years although she did engage in non PIV sexual behavior with a few guys before him

And

2. Told you she'd never once achieved orgasm through PIV sex due to her husband's lack of concern about her sexual needs

And

3. Has never had sex in any position other than missionary, doggy, or spoons?

And

4. Has been in a 100% sexless marriage for the last 13 years except for frequent solo sessions with her toy collection?

Would you consider this woman to be a challenge to see if you could make her enjoy sex, or would you consider her to be too high risk of being LD?

If you eat her *****, you will own her forever
DepressedHusband is offline  
post #41 of 58 (permalink) Old 03-02-2017, 12:22 AM
Member
 
Chuck71's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Where I lay my head
Posts: 6,785
Re: Sex & dating question for the guys

Half the fun is teaching the new things,

the other half is learning those things.

Just sayin'

A-Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.
B-We know what we are, but know not what we may be
C-Never make the person in your present pay for the sins committed by people from your past
Chuck71 is online now  
post #42 of 58 (permalink) Old 03-02-2017, 07:04 AM
Member
 
alexm's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 2,840
Re: Sex & dating question for the guys

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hellomynameis View Post
Guys, would you get involved with a 40-something woman who:

1. Has never had PIV sex with anyone but her ex-husband of almost 25 years although she did engage in non PIV sexual behavior with a few guys before him

And

2. Told you she'd never once achieved orgasm through PIV sex due to her husband's lack of concern about her sexual needs

And

3. Has never had sex in any position other than missionary, doggy, or spoons?

And

4. Has been in a 100% sexless marriage for the last 13 years except for frequent solo sessions with her toy collection?

Would you consider this woman to be a challenge to see if you could make her enjoy sex, or would you consider her to be too high risk of being LD?
Oh man, yes x1000!

Not for the challenge (lol), but because she's almost like a unicorn. 40-something, relatively inexperienced, has a collection of toys (and uses them)? Hasn't had actual sex in 13 years?

What she is, I'd assume, is sex-starved, faithful (I'm guessing), and knows her body (thanks to all those solo sessions). Also not shy (has a 'collection' of sex toys).

If one is looking for a casual, FWB things (and so is she), you've hit the jackpot

*edited for typos

"Every time I read your posts about your wife I want to swallow strychnine."

Last edited by alexm; 03-02-2017 at 07:44 AM.
alexm is offline  
post #43 of 58 (permalink) Old 03-02-2017, 03:44 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Ohio
Posts: 3,066
Re: Sex & dating question for the guys

The issues you raised in the OP are not that uncommon. It would not scare me off one bit. In fact it would be fun as others have said to see the progress. I am not talking about a fling or FWB situation, but actually seeing this woman bloom into her sexuality.

At the center of every moMEnt of my life is ME!
Ynot is offline  
post #44 of 58 (permalink) Old 03-02-2017, 04:01 PM
Member
 
bankshot1993's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: alberta
Posts: 252
Re: Sex & dating question for the guys

Maybe I'm crazy Here but I don't think anything that you listed is baggage. What I do think has the potential to be baggage is getting hung up on them and letting them play a role in your thinking.

What will make the decision for me would simply be a partner that I have a connection with and somebody that has a sex positive attitude.

I personally don't care if you've only had one partner or had limited experience.

Do you have an open mind now? Do you enjoy sex or is this something that you do simply as an obligation to your partner? are you willing to be a little adventurous and explore with a new potential partner?

If I feel a connection with the person I'm with I'm going to enjoy it, whether we were swinging from the chandeliers, hogtied to the rack or looking each other in the eye in good old fashioned missionary. Whatever it is that your doing, if you're doing it with somebody you enjoy doing it with that is what makes the difference.

Our lives are a novel and we, the authors. if you don't like the story line, only you have the power to change it.
bankshot1993 is offline  
post #45 of 58 (permalink) Old 03-02-2017, 05:13 PM
Banned
 
Join Date: Oct 2016
Posts: 1,456
Re: Sex & dating question for the guys

Quote:
Originally Posted by DepressedHusband View Post
If you eat her *****, you will own her forever
Every once in a while I read a post that makes me think that there are a few select individuals in the world who are infinitely smarter than I am who have attained a level of intelligence and wisdom that I will never attain in my lifetime.

This post was not one of them.
browser is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on Talk About Marriage, you must first register. Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

Important! Your username will be visible to the public next to anything you post and could show up in search engines like Google. If you are concerned about anonymity, PLEASE choose a username that will not be recognizable to anyone you know.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in









Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



Thread Tools Search this Thread
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search



Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Sexless marriage Rhapsodee The Ladies' Lounge 13 08-27-2016 10:54 PM
Lack of sex and intimacy Raveslave Sex in Marriage 18 03-10-2016 07:10 PM
I Struggle With Temptation wanttolove General Relationship Discussion 75 01-02-2016 06:16 PM
What to do? Ray83 Sex in Marriage 32 12-31-2015 09:44 AM
Easier Time Getting Sex, Guys or Ladies? EllisRedding Sex in Marriage 18 12-01-2015 04:47 PM

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome