Sex & dating question for the guys - Talk About Marriage
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post #1 of 58 (permalink) Old 01-27-2017, 09:47 AM Thread Starter
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Sex & dating question for the guys

Guys, would you get involved with a 40-something woman who:

1. Has never had PIV sex with anyone but her ex-husband of almost 25 years although she did engage in non PIV sexual behavior with a few guys before him

And

2. Told you she'd never once achieved orgasm through PIV sex due to her husband's lack of concern about her sexual needs

And

3. Has never had sex in any position other than missionary, doggy, or spoons?

And

4. Has been in a 100% sexless marriage for the last 13 years except for frequent solo sessions with her toy collection?

Would you consider this woman to be a challenge to see if you could make her enjoy sex, or would you consider her to be too high risk of being LD?

The road goes ever ever on, down from the door where it began... JRR Tolkien
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post #2 of 58 (permalink) Old 01-27-2017, 10:04 AM
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Re: Sex & dating question for the guys

I'd say she must want to enjoy sex, because of the toys and the ability to orgasm via oral. Go for it! You will be a hero, a porn star, she will be calling her friends to share the details.....
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post #3 of 58 (permalink) Old 01-27-2017, 10:07 AM
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Re: Sex & dating question for the guys

40+ year old women scare me

I don't see anything in your list that would indicate she is LD. If anything she could possibly be more willing/anxious to pursue an active/healthy sex life after missing out on one for so long.
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post #4 of 58 (permalink) Old 01-27-2017, 10:07 AM
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Re: Sex & dating question for the guys

I would definitely want to give it a try, but only you can answer the LD part. Are you LD?

If you told me up front you are LD and not to interested in sex, I would change my mind.
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post #5 of 58 (permalink) Old 01-27-2017, 10:14 AM
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Re: Sex & dating question for the guys

Why post this in two separate forum sections?

Sex & dating question for the guys
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post #6 of 58 (permalink) Old 01-27-2017, 10:22 AM
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Re: Sex & dating question for the guys

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hellomynameis View Post
Guys, would you get involved with a 40-something woman who:



1. Has never had PIV sex with anyone but her ex-husband of almost 25 years although she did engage in non PIV sexual behavior with a few guys before him



And



2. Told you she'd never once achieved orgasm through PIV sex due to her husband's lack of concern about her sexual needs (but orgasms easily through oral or manual stimulation)



And



3. Has never had sex in any position other than missionary, doggy, or spoons?



And



4. Has been in a 100% sexless marriage for the last 13 years except for frequent solo sessions with her toy collection?



Would you consider this woman to be a challenge to see if you could make her enjoy sex, or would you consider her to be too high risk of being LD?


Yes. You just described me too.
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post #7 of 58 (permalink) Old 01-27-2017, 10:22 AM
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Re: Sex & dating question for the guys

None of that really matters much, though it is good to know. What matters is if she expresses a desire to have a vigorous, enjoyable, happy sex life in the future and whether she demonstrates that desire.


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post #8 of 58 (permalink) Old 01-27-2017, 10:56 AM
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Re: Sex & dating question for the guys

whether you get involved with her or not really depends on what does she want ? Is she content with life as it is or is she open minded to experiment and be open to new ideas and positions? it is not the body that scares me but the mind...that organ is a lot harder to change
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post #9 of 58 (permalink) Old 01-27-2017, 10:59 AM
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Re: Sex & dating question for the guys

I think she would want it so much after not getting any for such a long time you would never be able to keep up with her.

"I've paid double for every transgression I've ever made and that motel and that boat are little to ask for"
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post #10 of 58 (permalink) Old 01-27-2017, 11:47 AM
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Re: Sex & dating question for the guys

Been married for 30 years, so not dating, but hypothetically if I was:

1). No problem.

2). No problem, lots of women never orgasm through PIV. I'm happy to do other things to help or orgasm.

3). I enjoy a wide variety of sexual activities and would want a partner who is the same. If the lack of variety is due to a lack of opportunity, then this is not a problem. If she is not interested in variety then we would not be sexually compatible. (its fine for someone to only like limited things, but they would not be a good partner for *me*).

4). If it was not by her choice, then this is not a problem.

I have no problem with someone who has limited sexual experience due to lack of opportunity IF they are interested in increasing the range and frequency of activities. That doesn't mean that they need to immediately start engaging in all sorts of wild things, but I would want them to be interested in moving in that direction.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Hellomynameis View Post
Guys, would you get involved with a 40-something woman who:

1. Has never had PIV sex with anyone but her ex-husband of almost 25 years although she did engage in non PIV sexual behavior with a few guys before him

And

2. Told you she'd never once achieved orgasm through PIV sex due to her husband's lack of concern about her sexual needs

And

3. Has never had sex in any position other than missionary, doggy, or spoons?

And

4. Has been in a 100% sexless marriage for the last 13 years except for frequent solo sessions with her toy collection?

Would you consider this woman to be a challenge to see if you could make her enjoy sex, or would you consider her to be too high risk of being LD?
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post #11 of 58 (permalink) Old 01-27-2017, 12:07 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Sex & dating question for the guys

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Originally Posted by EllisRedding View Post
Why post this in two separate forum sections?

Sex & dating question for the guys
I only posted this in the Men's Clubhouse. If it somehow posted elsewhere as well, it must be a glitch.

The road goes ever ever on, down from the door where it began... JRR Tolkien
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post #12 of 58 (permalink) Old 01-27-2017, 12:12 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Sex & dating question for the guys

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Originally Posted by rockon View Post
I would definitely want to give it a try, but only you can answer the LD part. Are you LD?

If you told me up front you are LD and not to interested in sex, I would change my mind.
I was LD with my husband. I hated sex with my husband he was both selfish in bed and sexually abusive.

I enjoyed the non PIV experiences I had with men before him but I was a teenager at the time. I was 21 when I married and there's been no one else since. So I don't honestly know how I would be with someone else. All I can tell you is I have a good sized collection of toys, Harlequin romances, and EL James books.

The road goes ever ever on, down from the door where it began... JRR Tolkien
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post #13 of 58 (permalink) Old 01-27-2017, 12:54 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Sex & dating question for the guys

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Originally Posted by uhtred View Post
Been married for 30 years, so not dating, but hypothetically if I was:

1). No problem.

2). No problem, lots of women never orgasm through PIV. I'm happy to do other things to help or orgasm.

3). I enjoy a wide variety of sexual activities and would want a partner who is the same. If the lack of variety is due to a lack of opportunity, then this is not a problem. If she is not interested in variety then we would not be sexually compatible. (its fine for someone to only like limited things, but they would not be a good partner for *me*).

4). If it was not by her choice, then this is not a problem.

I have no problem with someone who has limited sexual experience due to lack of opportunity IF they are interested in increasing the range and frequency of activities. That doesn't mean that they need to immediately start engaging in all sorts of wild things, but I would want them to be interested in moving in that direction.
My STBX was not one for a wide range of sexual experiences. All he wanted was a warm body and 5 minutes and he was done. He preferred it from behind because he didn't like making eye contact during sex. On top of that he was definitely an *ss man. He barely ever touched my breasts at all unlike a former BF who loved them. We did try anal once - I didn't really want to but he insisted. Never again. I ended up in the hospital with a tear so bad I had to have stitches. So for any guy who considers no anal a deal breaker I guess he'd need to move on to the next woman. I think I'd be up for other things other than spanking or other types of pain infliction. I have an extremely low pain tolerance so that doesn't appeal to me at all. And I can't see myself as either partner in a dom-sub relationship. I'm not good at either taking or receiving orders...

If I trusted a guy enough I'd probably be more than willing to try some of the stuff I've come across in my reading. But, I don't know how long it would take to develop that trust. My STBX did some real damage.

The road goes ever ever on, down from the door where it began... JRR Tolkien
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post #14 of 58 (permalink) Old 01-27-2017, 01:03 PM
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Re: Sex & dating question for the guys

The things you want would be fine with a great many men, but of course not all.

As an aside, anal shouldn't be damaging or painful if done correctly. That doesn't mean you should ever feel you need to try it again, just letting you know.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hellomynameis View Post
My STBX was not one for a wide range of sexual experiences. All he wanted was a warm body and 5 minutes and he was done. He preferred it from behind because he didn't like making eye contact during sex. On top of that he was definitely an *ss man. He barely ever touched my breasts at all unlike a former BF who loved them. We did try anal once - I didn't really want to but he insisted. Never again. I ended up in the hospital with a tear so bad I had to have stitches. So for any guy who considers no anal a deal breaker I guess he'd need to move on to the next woman. I think I'd be up for other things other than spanking or other types of pain infliction. I have an extremely low pain tolerance so that doesn't appeal to me at all. And I can't see myself as either partner in a dom-sub relationship. I'm not good at either taking or receiving orders...

If I trusted a guy enough I'd probably be more than willing to try some of the stuff I've come across in my reading. But, I don't know how long it would take to develop that trust. My STBX did some real damage.
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post #15 of 58 (permalink) Old 01-27-2017, 01:30 PM
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Re: Sex & dating question for the guys

Sorry Hello, i thought you were a man......in wrote in your other post, thinking i was responding to a man about a woman. but my answer is the same...the organ that matters the most is your brain...in there is everything that would drive a pleasurable sexual life or not. if you did not feel open with your ex, this is an opportunity to investigate your own sexual needs and desire, don't be afraid to read books, join a woman's group, look at videos, embrace your body and find out what brings you pleasure and what brings you pain...do not let a man define your limits, do not let a man push how farther than your ready...but don't be afraid to expand your mind either.
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