I'm looking for a Men's Group!!! - Talk About Marriage
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post #1 of 38 (permalink) Old 01-28-2017, 06:29 AM Thread Starter
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I'm looking for a Men's Group!!!

Do any men go to any men's groups in your area? I want to start attending one or two. I know there are many men's groups on meetup.

If you attend a men's group, how did you find it? Do you find your life has improved because of your attendance?

Thanks
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post #2 of 38 (permalink) Old 01-28-2017, 09:41 AM
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Re: I'm looking for a Men's Group!!!

I never intentionally looked to join a men's group for the purpose being around men. I've always been in male dominated occupations, so I never had to seek out male interaction. I even attended all male schools (yes they did exist). I do belong to male fraternal groups and social/hobby groups, where we enjoy common interests. I do believe my participation in these groups has enhanced my life. I met many men and exceptional mentors, who's ideas and behaviors I've chosen to emulate to great success. I recommend young men do the same and seek out interaction with other men.

I hope that helps and I hope you find one.


BTW, I like your signature. You do know he was not only an accomplished man of action, he was a great husband and father, who was adored by his wife family.

"In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing." T.R.

Be a better man... / ADHD and Marriage

Last edited by anchorwatch; 01-29-2017 at 06:30 PM.
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post #3 of 38 (permalink) Old 01-30-2017, 04:02 PM Thread Starter
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I never intentionally looked to join a men's group for the purpose being around men. I've always been in male dominated occupations, so I never had to seek out male interaction. I even attended all male schools (yes they did exist). I do belong to male fraternal groups and social/hobby groups, where we enjoy common interests. I do believe my participation in these groups has enhanced my life. I met many men and exceptional mentors, who's ideas and behaviors I've chosen to emulate to great success. I recommend young men do the same and seek out interaction with other men.

I hope that helps and I hope you find one.


BTW, I like your signature. You do know he was not only an accomplished man of action, he was a great husband and father, who was adored by his wife family.
Thanks for the comment on my signature. TR was a true Alpha Male and an amazing man. And thanks for your reply as a whole.
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post #4 of 38 (permalink) Old 02-09-2017, 10:05 AM
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Re: I'm looking for a Men's Group!!!

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Do any men go to any men's groups in your area?
I stopped going once Goerge McFarland passed away last century



RIP - He Man Womans Haters Club!

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post #5 of 38 (permalink) Old 02-09-2017, 10:11 AM
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Re: I'm looking for a Men's Group!!!

The only men's group I have seen in my walks is at a church. My best guess for you is to search local clubs or associations that my fit what you are looking for.

“You're painfully alive in a drugged and dying culture.”
― Richard Yates, Revolutionary Road
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post #6 of 38 (permalink) Old 02-09-2017, 11:00 AM
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Re: I'm looking for a Men's Group!!!

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Originally Posted by Mr.StrongMan View Post
Do any men go to any men's groups in your area? I want to start attending one or two. I know there are many men's groups on meetup.

If you attend a men's group, how did you find it? Do you find your life has improved because of your attendance?

Thanks
I haven't been to one in many years, and there don't seem to be any where I am that aren't just about sports or something - so, personal issues aren't likely to be welcome in those.

Back in the 90s, I heard about a men's discussion group via an internet search. We'd get together monthly and talk about general and specific issues we were experiencing, from careers to divorce, with many tangents. It was a good resource when I was beginning the process of my own divorce, so I think it helped improve my life.

I suppose meetup is the best way to look for something similar. I think many churches have some kind of men's group, but whether that would be useful to you depends on the issues you face, and whether their perspective would help or hinder your progress, or push you into a path that isn't suitable. They would not have worked for me, though.

Love is an ideal thing; marriage is a real thing; a confusion of the real with the ideal never goes unpunished. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

CELIBACY IS NOT HEREDITARY.
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post #7 of 38 (permalink) Old 02-09-2017, 11:44 AM
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Cool Re: I'm looking for a Men's Group!!!

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Originally Posted by Yeswecan View Post
The only men's group I have seen in my walks is at a church. My best guess for you is to search local clubs or associations that my fit what you are looking for.
I concur! My local United Methodist Church has several as do other churches. A church group would be an excellent choice!

If it's something fraternal that you're seeking, then try joining the Masonic Lodge or some other fraternal order!

But please do keep in mind that either of these type of groups would entail a profound belief on your part in the existence of a higher deity!

But IMHO, there's nothing remotely wrong with that!

"To love another person is to see the face of God!" - Jean Valjean from Les Miserables

My Story! http://talkaboutmarriage.com/going-t...andonment.html

Last edited by arbitrator; 02-10-2017 at 10:27 PM. Reason: Edification
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post #8 of 38 (permalink) Old 02-09-2017, 01:04 PM
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Re: I'm looking for a Men's Group!!!

@Mr.StrongMan,

Tell us about your Dad?

"In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing." T.R.

Be a better man... / ADHD and Marriage
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post #9 of 38 (permalink) Old 02-09-2017, 03:17 PM Thread Starter
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@Mr.StrongMan,

Tell us about your Dad?
What do you want to know?
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post #10 of 38 (permalink) Old 02-09-2017, 04:34 PM
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Re: I'm looking for a Men's Group!!!

Why do you answer my question with a question and not an answer? You do a lot of that... Always looking to see what others are looking for, or thinking. It's a straightforward question, nothing clandestine. Just a conversation you might engage in at any men's group. Is that fair with you?

Anything of importance you can think of...

What do you think of him?

What kind of man was he?

Your relationship with him?

His relationship with your Mom?

Is he or was he like you?

Your childhood with him?

"In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing." T.R.

Be a better man... / ADHD and Marriage

Last edited by anchorwatch; 02-09-2017 at 04:44 PM.
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post #11 of 38 (permalink) Old 02-09-2017, 04:38 PM
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Re: I'm looking for a Men's Group!!!

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What do you want to know?
What does your mom think of him?
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post #12 of 38 (permalink) Old 02-09-2017, 05:00 PM Thread Starter
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Re: I'm looking for a Men's Group!!!

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Originally Posted by anchorwatch View Post
Why do you answer my question with a question and not an answer? You do a lot of that... Always looking to see what others are looking for, or thinking. It's a straightforward question, nothing clandestine. Just a conversation you might engage in at any men's group. Is that fair with you?

Anything of importance you can think of...

What do you think of him?

What kind of man was he?

Your relationship with him?

His relationship with your Mom?

Is he or was he like you?

Your childhood with him?
I wish my father was still alive so I could tell him I know how he must have felt. I believe we all took my father for granted. But my father was a very angry man and it was hard NOT to be afraid of him most of the time.

He was also a very very generous man. He really was. He was also highly successful! He was a millionaire. I did not realize this until after he passed away. He would and could not allow me to go into his business with him, because he knew he would not be able to control his anger with me.

He was also somewhat of a pessimist. I believe I share this trait with him. I believe he was also depressed sometimes. And he could get very angry. In addition, (don't ask me how I know), I believe in later years, my father suffered in a sexless marriage.



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What does your mom think of him?
Both my parents have passed away. My parent's relationship could have been more loving. But they really were very good at whatever they put their minds to. They could have done much better raising kids. But everything else they were amazing at.

Although my father always lavished us with money, he did discourage me with anything I tried to do. I wish I could say I am exaggerating, but I am not. My father had no faith in me at all. I guess I can't blame him. I did terrible in grade school. I have no doubt a large part of this is because you can't learn when you are afraid. And my father did not have the patience to teach me things like math.

My father and mother were very high achievers. I look back and I really can't believe it. But they were total opposites when it came to disposition. My father went too far to the pessimist side, and my mother went to far to the optimist side.

My mother took my father for granted. I am not sure how much she really love him. However, I am sure my father was madly in love with my mother, but did not know how to show it, because my mother did not know how to show him love.

I only wish I had my father's successes and brains for business.

I was thinking the other day how my father would do small things as a kid to sabotage my small successes growing up. I won't get into details. But I did bring up an example to my new therapist last week and he just stared at me as if he couldn't believe it.
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post #13 of 38 (permalink) Old 02-09-2017, 05:12 PM
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Re: I'm looking for a Men's Group!!!

Thanks for sharing.
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post #14 of 38 (permalink) Old 02-10-2017, 05:42 PM Thread Starter
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Re: I'm looking for a Men's Group!!!

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I wish my father was still alive so I could tell him I know how he must have felt. I believe we all took my father for granted. But my father was a very angry man and it was hard NOT to be afraid of him most of the time.

He was also a very very generous man. He really was. He was also highly successful! He was a millionaire. I did not realize this until after he passed away. He would and could not allow me to go into his business with him, because he knew he would not be able to control his anger with me.

He was also somewhat of a pessimist. I believe I share this trait with him. I believe he was also depressed sometimes. And he could get very angry. In addition, (don't ask me how I know), I believe in later years, my father suffered in a sexless marriage.





Both my parents have passed away. My parent's relationship could have been more loving. But they really were very good at whatever they put their minds to. They could have done much better raising kids. But everything else they were amazing at.

Although my father always lavished us with money, he did discourage me with anything I tried to do. I wish I could say I am exaggerating, but I am not. My father had no faith in me at all. I guess I can't blame him. I did terrible in grade school. I have no doubt a large part of this is because you can't learn when you are afraid. And my father did not have the patience to teach me things like math.

My father and mother were very high achievers. I look back and I really can't believe it. But they were total opposites when it came to disposition. My father went too far to the pessimist side, and my mother went to far to the optimist side.

My mother took my father for granted. I am not sure how much she really love him. However, I am sure my father was madly in love with my mother, but did not know how to show it, because my mother did not know how to show him love.

I only wish I had my father's successes and brains for business.

I was thinking the other day how my father would do small things as a kid to sabotage my small successes growing up. I won't get into details. But I did bring up an example to my new therapist last week and he just stared at me as if he couldn't believe it.
See? See everybody? This is a perfect example that people are NOT interested in me posting something of interest to disucss. People only want to pounce on me and criticize me here for "not taking advice." But when I post something of interest I get no response. I am not surprised.

This is not a reflection on me, but on all of my critics here.
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post #15 of 38 (permalink) Old 02-10-2017, 07:54 PM
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Re: I'm looking for a Men's Group!!!

I see that you asked the mods to close all your threads.
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