How does she get you going? - Page 2 - Talk About Marriage
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post #16 of 27 (permalink) Old 01-31-2017, 02:43 PM
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Not at all, no eye rolling here! Some of these people have been together just as long as I've been alive. Crazy! I too am amazed that even after decades, these ladies can keep their men satisfied and lusting.

Taking notes...
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post #17 of 27 (permalink) Old 01-31-2017, 02:48 PM
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Re: How does she get you going?

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Originally Posted by Davidmidwest View Post
Wow. If my STBX did all those ques, man I wouldn't be in this situation. Your women must really admire, support, and love you a lot! They got the keep the husband caught with her wile and charisma sexyness. How do the ladies have the energy with kids and work, and putting up with us to do that.
I am amazed. I wonder if they read the book by Dr. Laura, "the proper care and feeding of husbands." Where can I sign my wife up for lessons.
I ask myself the same questions. I have completely forgotten what it is like to be surprised by some lingerie
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post #18 of 27 (permalink) Old 01-31-2017, 02:53 PM Thread Starter
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Re: How does she get you going?

I am loving your responses..wow, thank you so much! It's reassuring to know that after a long while together, your women still have an arousing influence on you guys.
My husband and I have been together for 23 years, married for 20. I sometimes wonder if there is anything left about me that he is turned on by- he knows me so well.
Randomly he'll go savage on me and it makes me wonder if I did something to bring it on, or was it just that he physically needed a release.
Either way, it feels good to know that we, as long-term wives/gfs) can still be of benefit to our men in the most unexpected ways. ; )
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post #19 of 27 (permalink) Old 01-31-2017, 03:00 PM
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Cool Re: How does she get you going?

With my first XW, it was simply her tying up her hair into a ponytail, thus exposing her neck ~ which got me going ~ which got her going!

Enough said!

"To love another person is to see the face of God!" - Jean Valjean from Les Miserables

My Story! http://talkaboutmarriage.com/going-t...andonment.html
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post #20 of 27 (permalink) Old 01-31-2017, 03:06 PM
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Re: How does she get you going?

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Originally Posted by Angeline View Post
. I sometimes wonder if there is anything left about me that he is turned on by- he knows me so well.
Randomly he'll go savage on me and it makes me wonder if I did something to bring it on, or was it just that he physically needed a release.
The 1st line I quoted: I am in a LT M with my wife, because most everything about her turns me on. Most men (I think/hope) feel the same about their wives. New/mysterious can be good, but knowing is better imo.

The 2nd line is probably both from time to time, but I would hazard to guess you did something that got him going, could be as simple as he smelled you or thought you looked especially hot in some outfit.. He probably can't even recall what it was that made him 'take' you. Probably almost subconsciously...
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post #21 of 27 (permalink) Old 01-31-2017, 03:16 PM
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Re: How does she get you going?

Nothing does it better for me than when she says.

"want to have some quick fun before I go to the store, hurry up I have ten minutes. Oh, by the way my stomach is bothering me so good luck to you!", as she assumes the dead starfish position.
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post #22 of 27 (permalink) Old 01-31-2017, 05:26 PM
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Re: How does she get you going?

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For men in LTR, what does your wife/gf do that can spark your desire for her.
We all know how things can get somewhat bland in the mix of the busy monotony. Especially after being with the same person for so long.
Married nearly 19 years, been together 22. Lessee... she could:

- look at me
- wryly smile at me
- walk past in high-heeled boots
- come to bed

...and I'm pretty much there . Now if she wanted to show she's really interested, she could:

- tell me she's thinking about some sexy act
- put a body stocking on (HOT!!)
- hold a particular toy in her hand as I walk in
- sext me

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post #23 of 27 (permalink) Old 01-31-2017, 06:22 PM
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Re: How does she get you going?

together 23 years, married 15 this year. She sends me naughty texts, give sly looks, or just flat out attacks me when I walk in the room.
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post #24 of 27 (permalink) Old 01-31-2017, 07:47 PM
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Re: How does she get you going?

Angeline,
Let me try to help you with this. While it is true that the ideal scenario is to spark desire first - that isn't the only ideal.

There is also an alternative. An alternative based more on love, than lust. The way that works is - for you two to have a discussion of responsive desire.

Half of all our encounters over the last 28 years - start out with one of us not feeling desire at the start. Luckily BOTH of us are good at getting the other turned on from neutral.

Both of us believe it is wrong to reject your partner when they want to connect and both of us have learned that if you relax and let nature take its course, arousal comes along very easily. It helps that neither of us is impatient with the other. That is a big deal - patience. Five to fifteen minutes does the trick 95+ percent of the time.

One last piece to the puzzle. Neither of us does stuff that turns the other OFF. So while it's true - sometimes one or the other of us lacks desire. Neither of us feels aversion or turned OFF by the other.

The absence of spontaneous desire is harmless. The presence of aversion is a whole different deal. Just saying - if there is an aversion issue - it needs to be dealt with in an honest, but kind manner.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Angeline View Post
Hi guys: )

For men in LTR, what does your wife/gf do that can spark your desire for her.
We all know how things can get somewhat bland in the mix of the busy monotony. Especially after being with the same person for so long.
So, I am wondering if you catch your wife saying something, doing something, acting any particular way that might be a catalyst for feeling arousal toward her...what would those things be?

Thank you!
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post #25 of 27 (permalink) Old 02-13-2017, 04:47 PM
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Re: How does she get you going?

Everything my wife does turns me onto her. She just has to brush her hand across me lightly while looking at me with her eyes and it gets me every time. Just being around her, I think about her and we have been together for about 10 years now
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post #26 of 27 (permalink) Old 02-13-2017, 10:28 PM
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Re: How does she get you going?

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Originally Posted by Angeline View Post
So, I am wondering if you catch your wife saying something, doing something, acting any particular way that might be a catalyst for feeling arousal toward her...what would those things be?
Well @Angeline

According to my wife, she accuses me of getting myself all aroused arbitrarily and all she has to do is just show up and enjoy me begging.

Some days I think she is right, because I do have an overactive imagination that tends to be a little mischievous with my thoughts of her! BUTT (oops I misspelled that), I mean BUT, she can be pretty devious at giving me something to think about.



HOT DANG! I've never done it in the sink before with warm water and soap. As for the mirror, I'll claim I keep forgetting to turn off my Sonicare toothbrush when I take it out of my mouth!

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post #27 of 27 (permalink) Old 02-23-2017, 07:55 AM
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Re: How does she get you going?

It doesn't take much. Pretty much every woman I see I want. Well not all obviously! But you get my point.

The issue is that it's rare I get to follow through on desire.
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