Ex-wife never cheated, but she had her own issues which led to our divorce. But she's not the only woman who had hurt me, my mother was the primary one during childhood.
However I just returned from vacation with cuddlebunny, met her family, siblings, cousins and their friends. Was a celebrity it seems like, she hasn't been very silent about us. I didn't know how to process that at first, as I was thinking like "OMFG what? You been telling them about us? What have you been telling them" etc, yet after a while I appreciated it as a sign of affection. Already at that point I knew cuddlebunny was a decent woman, but in the time we spent together and with her family, and putting 2 and 2 together, realised that she truly is, something more; a rarity. Honorable, incorruptible, passionate, loving, caring, loyal, sweet, considerate, respectable, polite, all in all - a very good girl.
I still remember that look when I mentioned to her family that she is a very good girl, and her sister looked at me with eyes open, nodding strongly and affirmation that she is and that I'd better take good care of her. I felt no falsehood when she expressed that, and it was one of the strongest affirmations that I have received. Her idols are her family, and after meeting them I understood why, they are all honorable people who would rather do the right thing than cheat to get ahead. They live humble and simple lives despite their credentials and educated/hardworking backgrounds, her mother who had passed away chose never to accept bribery for project approvals which led to her family continuing to live humbly compared to others of her profession.
In the end I've realised it's no longer her worth in question, it's my own. I seem to be stone-hearted, unable to feel as strongly as she does. I don't know if that means she just loves me more than I love her or that I'm just messed up in the head. I still got her flowers as a surprise on valentines day which she couldn't get over and texted all her family/friends. She is willing to make any sacrifice to be with me, she has confessed her love for me and I did not return it. However, I did sing for her this song:
I just hope I don't break her heart.