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post #136 of 169 (permalink) Old 02-17-2017, 10:02 AM
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Re: Online dating - I do not understand it

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Just do not know why she'd give her cell, then disappear. Just a bit strange.
That's an easy one. She changed her mind. If she was really interested she'd pursue you or at least keep up the communication to let you know she still wants to meet.
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post #137 of 169 (permalink) Old 02-17-2017, 05:05 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Online dating - I do not understand it

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That's an easy one. She changed her mind. If she was really interested she'd pursue you or at least keep up the communication to let you know she still wants to meet.
Yea, I get that part. However, just the night before, via the dating app, she wished me a good night and said chat tomorrow. Just very strange.
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post #138 of 169 (permalink) Old 02-17-2017, 08:47 PM
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Re: Online dating - I do not understand it

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Yea, I get that part. However, just the night before, via the dating app, she wished me a good night and said chat tomorrow. Just very strange.
She may be tied up, she may had met a guy she likes and is keeping you and if so, a few

other guys on the back burner to see how it ends up. WTF knows... BUT it has NOTHING

to do..... with you. Traverse along to the next one. It's not uncommon for a girl to go

poof after banter and right before you try to set up a meet n greet. Then two weeks pass and...

then she's wanting to set up a meet n greet.

There is nothing wrong with that. Some people get pizzy when you have met them for the

meet n greet and maybe one date or two because you're still using the OLD site.

I'm sorry but if there is not anything exclusive, you have every single right to date others.

It does get murky when sex is involved. Not being exclusive but dating and having sex

can really send mixed signals. Hang in there

A-Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.
B-We know what we are, but know not what we may be
C-Never make the person in your present pay for the sins committed by people from your past
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post #139 of 169 (permalink) Old 02-17-2017, 11:50 PM
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Re: Online dating - I do not understand it

Two words for you to Google, A-D:

Outcome independence.

"If you deliberately plan on being less than you are capable of being, then I warn you that you'll be unhappy for the rest of your life."

~ Abraham Maslow
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post #140 of 169 (permalink) Old 02-20-2017, 07:53 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Online dating - I do not understand it

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Two words for you to Google, A-D:

Outcome independence.
Looked it up and agree as well. Outside of a relationship, life is amazingly great. I guess I get lonely from time to time about doubt my decisions in the past.
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post #141 of 169 (permalink) Old 02-20-2017, 07:54 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Online dating - I do not understand it

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She may be tied up, she may had met a guy she likes and is keeping you and if so, a few

other guys on the back burner to see how it ends up. WTF knows... BUT it has NOTHING

to do..... with you. Traverse along to the next one. It's not uncommon for a girl to go

poof after banter and right before you try to set up a meet n greet. Then two weeks pass and...

then she's wanting to set up a meet n greet.

There is nothing wrong with that. Some people get pizzy when you have met them for the

meet n greet and maybe one date or two because you're still using the OLD site.

I'm sorry but if there is not anything exclusive, you have every single right to date others.

It does get murky when sex is involved. Not being exclusive but dating and having sex

can really send mixed signals. Hang in there

I know, and I am trying not to take it personal. After all, they are all strangers. I guess I am a bit gun shy.
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post #142 of 169 (permalink) Old 02-20-2017, 08:43 PM
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Re: Online dating - I do not understand it

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I know, and I am trying not to take it personal. After all, they are all strangers. I guess I am a bit gun shy.
After 10-15-20 years, who isn't?

A-Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.
B-We know what we are, but know not what we may be
C-Never make the person in your present pay for the sins committed by people from your past
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post #143 of 169 (permalink) Old 02-21-2017, 08:43 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Online dating - I do not understand it

Certainly trying. There's this other one, my age, who I found on OKCupid. She messaged me back pretty quickly. After the forth message back, I requested to meet, she replied back she would like to get more comfortable first. We've been shooting back q&a's last night and this morning, so far about 20 or so. She now replies can we switch to regular e-mail? It would be easier to respond via work. I have no idea if she's looking for a penpal, get to know me or what. I am hesitant to request again to meet as it could come off too pushy. Ideas? I feel like I am back in no mans land again prior to just dating. Is this normal stuff nowadays? Trying not to be too pushy, but not be to weak either. It seems like a balancing act. The good news is I re-rote my whole profile from 22 + lines to just 2 and all new pictures. It seemed to have done the trick. I have over ten women (assuming they are real) messaging me. My profile is so old it stated I love listening to music on my iPod. I do not even think they make iPods anymore. Geez. Guess I should had read it again a bit more closely.
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post #144 of 169 (permalink) Old 02-21-2017, 09:20 AM
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Re: Online dating - I do not understand it

Every time you message this girl without meeting her you are wasting your time and energy (these are your most valuable assets) on someone that you may or may not be interested in. In general you can tell if you are interested in a woman within the first couple minutes of meeting her and definitely by the end of the first date. And you can't really tell those things behind a computer screen. So, I'd recommend just making a move.

Here's my advice. Write to her and say that you recognize that she wanted to get more comfortable before meeting you, but first dates are always awkward the easiest way to get more comfortable is go on one and get it out of the way. Then tell her you'll be at ___________ (pick your venue, time, date) and she is welcome to come join you for a semi-awkward first date, if she's interested in meeting. Then ask her for her phone number so you two can get in touch if there is a last minute change of plans.

One of two things will then happen. Either she'll accept and you get to meet or she'll decline. If she accepts go out and have a good time! If she declines then tell her you have a lot going on in your life and can't continue to play pen pal with her, and if she changes her mind and wants to meet in person then she's free to invite you out sometime. Then you cease all contact.
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post #145 of 169 (permalink) Old 02-21-2017, 03:07 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Online dating - I do not understand it

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Every time you message this girl without meeting her you are wasting your time and energy (these are your most valuable assets) on someone that you may or may not be interested in. In general you can tell if you are interested in a woman within the first couple minutes of meeting her and definitely by the end of the first date. And you can't really tell those things behind a computer screen. So, I'd recommend just making a move.

Here's my advice. Write to her and say that you recognize that she wanted to get more comfortable before meeting you, but first dates are always awkward the easiest way to get more comfortable is go on one and get it out of the way. Then tell her you'll be at ___________ (pick your venue, time, date) and she is welcome to come join you for a semi-awkward first date, if she's interested in meeting. Then ask her for her phone number so you two can get in touch if there is a last minute change of plans.

One of two things will then happen. Either she'll accept and you get to meet or she'll decline. If she accepts go out and have a good time! If she declines then tell her you have a lot going on in your life and can't continue to play pen pal with her, and if she changes her mind and wants to meet in person then she's free to invite you out sometime. Then you cease all contact.

Went for broke and did that. Silence. I guess it's a no go. 0/3 thus far. LOL. Should be a fun experience. Going to attempt to take it in stride. I think it's also funny that the three big sites, POF (not on), Match (not on) and OKCupid (on) are all owned by IAC Interactive Group. I also find it interesting that all the women are also on each site.
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post #146 of 169 (permalink) Old 02-22-2017, 02:16 AM
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Re: Online dating - I do not understand it

WTH cares? Move on..... they replied to you but don't want to meet? That is THEIR problem.

Trust me.... I have learned in the last two years, OLD is a mixed bag. I do not take anyone

seriously until we meet. Until then, it is fairy tales and couldas, shouldas.

Many many women are on OLD sites for attention and ego boost to hide their insecurity.

Meeting in a public place for a meet n greet is a whole lot different than going on an "official date."

A healthy woman would meet you for 15-30 minutes if mutual attraction is there.

A-Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.
B-We know what we are, but know not what we may be
C-Never make the person in your present pay for the sins committed by people from your past
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post #147 of 169 (permalink) Old 02-22-2017, 08:10 AM
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Re: Online dating - I do not understand it

Oh well.... NEXT!

Be wary of women hiding behind a computer or phone. They are likely not the women you want to meet. You want a confident woman actually wanting to meet a man... In person!

"If you deliberately plan on being less than you are capable of being, then I warn you that you'll be unhappy for the rest of your life."

~ Abraham Maslow
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post #148 of 169 (permalink) Old 02-22-2017, 09:00 AM
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Re: Online dating - I do not understand it

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Originally Posted by Almost-Done View Post
Went for broke and did that. Silence. I guess it's a no go. 0/3 thus far. LOL. Should be a fun experience. Going to attempt to take it in stride. I think it's also funny that the three big sites, POF (not on), Match (not on) and OKCupid (on) are all owned by IAC Interactive Group. I also find it interesting that all the women are also on each site.
Awesome job! You took control and did it on your terms, which is a very masculine approach. Now you know she was just wasting your time and you don't have to play the cat and mouse game with her anymore. BTW, you should give Tinder a try. The best strategy for men is different than other dating programs you are using. What you do is just swipe right to everyone. If you get a match then go back and see if you are possibly attracted to them and interested in seeing them and if not, then unmatch them. This way you won't bypass anyone that could be a potential date, and you get to pick which of them you'll pursue.
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post #149 of 169 (permalink) Old 02-22-2017, 09:14 AM
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Re: Online dating - I do not understand it

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Oh well.... NEXT!

Be wary of women hiding behind a computer or phone. They are likely not the women you want to meet. You want a confident woman actually wanting to meet a man... In person!
This has never happened to me but.... OP I know guys who have met females from OLD

sites. Their pics were so old and misrepresented.... they did not recognize her. 50-75 lbs.

heavier, pics were of her in fancy dress and she shows up in sweats or a moo-moo.

Rule of thumb.... women lie about their weight, as in 17 pics and not one is full body shot......

that should tell you something. If their main pic is older than 24 months.... that's a hint.

I'll need help on why guys lie about their height.

About Tinder..... what happens if the females do the same thing?

A-Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.
B-We know what we are, but know not what we may be
C-Never make the person in your present pay for the sins committed by people from your past
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post #150 of 169 (permalink) Old 02-22-2017, 10:50 AM
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Re: Online dating - I do not understand it

Females don't have to use the same strategy as guys on Tinder. They usually get matches with just about every guy they swipe right to, so they try to weed out the guys they aren't interested in. With guys, they get far fewer matches so they don't want to bypass any potentially interested female (i.e. it's a numbers game). There are even apps that auto swipe right for you so you don't have to waste time doing it.
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