Online dating - I do not understand it - Page 2 - Talk About Marriage
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post #16 of 169 (permalink) Old 02-03-2017, 10:13 AM
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Online dating - I do not understand it

I find 95% of females on any dating website are only on there because they are bored and only on there to fill in time whilst waiting for an Uber, on lunch break at work, laying in bed trying to fall asleep!

I also found that 85% of them are single mums who are now thinking about how FKN stupid they are, and are looking for suckers (good blokes) to be a daddy because the males they had the kids to (bad guys) are all drop kicks!

If you want to meet people online you have to pay for it. Ash ley mad ison, not everyone on there are cheating or in relationships!!

Also try RSVP
Tinder is also the best, a bit shallow but at least people are honest!

Last edited by shldzy; 02-03-2017 at 10:18 AM.
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post #17 of 169 (permalink) Old 02-03-2017, 10:42 AM
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Re: Online dating - I do not understand it

I've had pretty good luck on POF and OKC. As RandomDude said, Match is a joke. But they do honor the 6 month guarantee. There are many scammers on Match.... and you get messages from the Far East and "Eastern Bloc" Europe on OKC. They're easy to spot though.

I have always said many women are on the sites for attention, many guys are on there for sex. And we all know some women trade sex for attention and some men trade attention for sex. Just the way it is.

Since my break up in November.... I did profiles again on POF, OKC, and meetme (female friend recommended it). Meetme is an obvious "attention site" why.... the females actually tell me this.

I recommend profiles on those three and..... sit back. I get plenty of emails, initiated by the female. Would I date all that initiated, oh he!! no.... but you have a much better chance of it being a legit conversation than you emailed 50 a day and they play tag with all their emails.

OKC has a Quickmatch.... but you have to be a paying member to see who it is..... unless she clicked the star button as well. Then you're told you are a match. In other words click the star as much as you can.... you'd be surprised. Sometimes.... you will get an email saying xxx likes you, but that's semi-rare.

POF has a MeetMe section.... if the female says yes and even maybe, you get an email about who it is. You can view her profile without being signed in. If you are new meat.... you will have 50 yes within the first week. There are quality people on POF and OKC but there also are the dregs of society too. Free site, whatcha expect?

And..... this time around I tried Zoosk. It is $30/month or $60/3 month but like Match... they have additional upgrades they want to nickel and dime you to death on. Now you don't have to pay (like Match) but gosh darn, you can't reply to emails! Now for the spin.... Zoosk has an upgrade, $10/month where guys can email females who are not paying members. About 50% of the females on Zoosk aren't paying. When you just get a wink wink (free) from a female.... and you reply.... 90% of the time you get crickets. They're not paying member and you haven't done the $10 upgrade. To me... if a female wants to meet a quality guy, swipe that debit card just like we do.

Zoosk has a Views section..... you can see who viewed you. Even though you don't click on their profile, Zoosk notifies the female that you viewed her too. I have been on there for two months and I'm going to cancel in a few days. I have 500 views.... and if I went through each one.... within one hour, half of the 500 have viewed me again. No other way to explain it.

I have a very short profile, mostly because everyone window shops. See the pic, like the pic, email. We all know guys do that but the females do as well. On POF I have want kids and have none.... over 50% of my emails are from women 40 and up who does not want kids or "can't." So much for reading profiles huh?

Hope this helps......

A-Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.
B-We know what we are, but know not what we may be
C-Never make the person in your present pay for the sins committed by people from your past
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post #18 of 169 (permalink) Old 02-03-2017, 01:53 PM
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Re: Online dating - I do not understand it

OP, two questions...

Do you mention your recent divorce in your post? If so, that may be a deterrent on sites like Christian Mingle. Right or wrong, the assumption is that newly divorced people are only looking for a rebound. In other words, not good long term relationship material.

Are you being realistic in your search criteria? I had a good friend who was failing miserably at online dating only to find out that his search range was limited to very fit, beautiful, young women (5-15 years younger). He was none of those things.

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post #19 of 169 (permalink) Old 02-03-2017, 02:45 PM
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Re: Online dating - I do not understand it

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Originally Posted by shldzy View Post
I find 95% of females on any dating website are only on there because they are bored and only on there to fill in time whilst waiting for an Uber, on lunch break at work, laying in bed trying to fall asleep!

I also found that 85% of them are single mums who are now thinking about how FKN stupid they are, and are looking for suckers (good blokes) to be a daddy because the males they had the kids to (bad guys) are all drop kicks!
And 85 - 95% of men on there are older, out of shape, sometimes jobless/have no car/live with their mothers and are looking to hook up for just sex with young, hot women who are completely out of their league, even though they describe themselves as looking for a relationship.

Remember the goal of feminism: Making sure only alphas get laid!
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post #20 of 169 (permalink) Old 02-03-2017, 05:27 PM
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Re: Online dating - I do not understand it

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And 85 - 95% of men on there are older, out of shape, sometimes jobless/have no car/live with their mothers and are looking to hook up for just sex with young, hot women who are completely out of their league, even though they describe themselves as looking for a relationship.
And many are "stay at home moms" even though their children are grown, are "retired" at 38 with

a HS education (disability), are 32 with four kids by three guys but want to find love (roommate

to share bills), hate the bar scene but can down a 12 pack before I open my 4th beer,

has prom pic up.... from not 2015 but 1995, pics of their kids with captions of their names

and what school they attend (creepy as ****), are general laborers (janitor) and a HS drop out

with more tats than Dennis Rodman but call me shallow when me, a PhD candidate who prefers

intellectuals and people who ENJOY reading do not wish to meet them LOL

OLD in the 21st century.... strap in.... it's a bumpy ride for both!!!

{Moderator Note: I spelled out the profanity. Please follow forum rules in regards to the profanity filter.

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A-Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.
B-We know what we are, but know not what we may be
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Last edited by EleGirl; 02-15-2017 at 12:37 PM.
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post #21 of 169 (permalink) Old 02-03-2017, 05:36 PM
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Re: Online dating - I do not understand it

Almost-Done:

How do you know your profile is “good detailed profile of me”?

You need a profile that markets you as being emotionally healthy, physically fit, financially secure, intellectually sharp, responsible and somehow indicates that you are a person capable of caring for another. It should describe what is important to you in life and what you are looking for in a partner. You must use current pictures. Having a trusted female friend who knows you critique your profile can be useful.

When I was on POF, I used to look at other men’s profiles just to see what kinds of things they wrote. I would have to say that not many men do a stellar job of marketing themselves.

Pay sites like eHarmony or Match generally produce better results than non-pay sites. Why? Because people that are willing to pay for a subscription are serious about finding a mate.

Beyond that, it is a numbers game and it does come in cycles as someone mentioned. The sea is deep and wide, but sometimes the bite just isn't on. Then the tide changes and there's a fish on every pole and that gets hard to handle.

I met my fiancee on eharmony. While that site has some shortcomings, (you don't search, eharmony searches for you) and they sometimes do serve up non-active user profiles), I can't argue with the results I obtained.

Patience is a virtue: I met (in person) at least 35 women in the course of two years before I found the right one.

Good luck!
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post #22 of 169 (permalink) Old 02-03-2017, 05:49 PM
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Re: Online dating - I do not understand it

I met my husband on a Christian dating site in the UK. One of my children met their spouse also on a christian dating site. I also know about 7 or 8 other couples who did as well.

If you choose a decent site(not a free one), one that is national rather than international(less scammers),and be cautious and careful, you can met really nice people, at least I did. You have to be patient though, I was on dating sites for 2 years before I met my husband, although I only actually met 3 men before him but communicated on line with several more.

So many meet this way now, but obviously not every one will meet their soul mate.
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post #23 of 169 (permalink) Old 02-03-2017, 05:53 PM
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Re: Online dating - I do not understand it

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Originally Posted by Chuck71 View Post
And many are "stay at home moms" even though their children are grown, are "retired" at 38 with

a HS education (disability), are 32 with four kids by three guys but want to find love (roommate

to share bills), hate the bar scene but can down a 12 pack before I open my 4th beer,

has prom pic up.... from not 2015 but 1995, pics of their kids with captions of their names

and what school they attend (creepy as ****), are general laborers (janitor) and a HS drop out

with more tats than Dennis Rodman but call me shallow when me, a PhD candidate who prefers

intellectuals and people who ENJOY reading do not wish to meet them LOL

OLD in the 21st century.... strap in.... it's a bumpy ride for both!!!
Yes...I know...I get it. I was just responding to that drive by poster's comments about all the horrible nasty women in online dating (like what you just said).

There's really no reason to point out how horrible either men or women on there are. Instead it is accurate to say "there are some really strange people with strange expectations". Why make it sound like only horrible women, but only honorable men (as in the drive by poster's comment)? If I see people do that and cast a dark shadow across the opposite gender, I'm going to come in and drop comments like this one.

{Moderator Note: I spelled out the profanity. Please follow forum rules in regards to the profanity filter.

8. Filter Bypass/Obscenity: A profanity filter is in place and any attempts to bypass it are forbidden. You MAY type words that are filtered, as long as they are not abusive towards other quests or violate any other rules; however, you must allow the filter to do its job. Do NOT try to filter the word yourself and do not try to use creative spelling to bypass the profanity filter. Also, posting images of videos of obscene gestures, linking to obscene web sites, posting obscene or graphic descriptions of a decidedly adult nature, and violating a standard of decent behavior is not allowed.

February 21st is the deadline for full enforcement of the measure.

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Remember the goal of feminism: Making sure only alphas get laid!

Last edited by EleGirl; 02-15-2017 at 12:38 PM.
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post #24 of 169 (permalink) Old 02-03-2017, 07:14 PM
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Re: Online dating - I do not understand it

I really hope and pray I never have to get into online dating. It seems like such a hassle.

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post #25 of 169 (permalink) Old 02-03-2017, 07:59 PM
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Re: Online dating - I do not understand it

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I really hope and pray I never have to get into online dating. It seems like such a hassle.

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oh believe me, it is.

it can get results, but it is a hassle.

but then, so is dating in general.

reason I avoided it for a long time.
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post #26 of 169 (permalink) Old 02-03-2017, 08:01 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Online dating - I do not understand it

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If you're using a Christian dating site, how about meeting women in church/community groups and seeing where that goes if and when you find people you like?
I thought it would be a nice change. There's one church near me, about everyone is married or elderly. Not a big church person.
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post #27 of 169 (permalink) Old 02-03-2017, 08:02 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Online dating - I do not understand it

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I'm largely in the same boat using the online dating sites. I am a non-paying member of two, POF and OKCupid, and there are no women on there who really attract my interest for various and sundry reasons, or who are preeminently too short at 5'1" or less matched up against my 6'4" frame, or who are just way too old for me by up to 10 years; or who I read into their profile as their being prolifically and unapologetically un-Christian or who are gold diggers looking much more for their financial rather than emotional security!

The only contacts I really seem to get are by some far-eastern or Ukrainian women who hardly speak a word of English, or very few of them anyway!

Perhaps things would be better if I took out a paid subscription much rather than an unpaid one!
I thought being a paid member it would help, so far, not really.
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post #28 of 169 (permalink) Old 02-03-2017, 08:06 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Online dating - I do not understand it

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Describe yourself for us. Is there a celebrity you resemble to help us create a mental picture of you?

How tall are you?

Describe the type of women and their typical height that you are reaching out to. What is interesting about them to you? Is it mainly driven by their pictures? If so, what strikes you about them?
Colleagues tell me I am a taller and thinner Kevin James. I'm only 5'11'', so I know many women want 6'' and higher. Reach out to any woman that has similar interests, between 5'2'' - 5'9'' and within 10 years younger and two years older. I look for like interests, exercising, sports, activities, etc. Yes, the pictures are important, but I always reference something in their description, not the pics.
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post #29 of 169 (permalink) Old 02-03-2017, 08:07 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Online dating - I do not understand it

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This could be a mistake. Women typically get a lot of interest on those sites and so they could have 25-50 emails a day depending on thier profile, attractiveness, population of area and so on. Sometimes they are speaking to someone else so just deleting all emails they are getting then when that falls through they start responding to emails again. I have a few female friends who have done this. My suggestion is send your emails and if you don't hear back after a few weeks and see their profile pop up again email them again and sometimes they bite.

Met my GF on Match after third email I sent
I've started to follow up with them, one did reply. Though, it said I was too far away (30 miles).
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post #30 of 169 (permalink) Old 02-03-2017, 08:11 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Online dating - I do not understand it

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Forgive my somewhat brutal honesty, but you read here as slightly bitter. Are you 100% sure your profile doesn't have any whiff of that attached to it? Bitterness, desperation, neediness and hostility/anger are usually really quick turnoffs for women when reading men's dating profiles or emails. A little humor, a laid back attitude, self confidence, and an emotionally healthy and healed vibe post-divorce are positives. No friends is also a turnoff, so get out there and make some new ones - or at least some good acquaintances you can hang out with and potentially introduce a new woman to. Be realistic about both yourself and the women you're filtering your results to see. Use good pictures that are both flattering and convey reality. Beyond that, yes, it's largely a numbers game.
No, it's quite upbeat and positive. It just pops into my head that my ex-wife did state that I would have a problem finding another woman, and that is why I stayed with her. So, to me, it's like hearing something she said actually come true. That's why I am a bit down. I'm actually a glass half full type of person. Mid 30's, too late to make friends.
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