Online dating - I do not understand it - Page 3 - Talk About Marriage
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post #31 of 170 (permalink) Old 02-03-2017, 08:12 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Online dating - I do not understand it

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Originally Posted by Evinrude58 View Post
It's definitely a numbers thing and definitely cyclic.
Don't be discouraged.

My suspicion:

1/2 of the women on those sites are there for getting ego boosts.
They get a kick out of men wanting them and probably make fun of many with their bff's.

You've got to have this attitude:
I only need to meet 1 good lady, and it could be worth it.
And realize that you eventually will for sure get some interest.

You MUST be patient. Can't stress that enough. I see the same women I've seen 2 years ago on those sites. The ones that aren't answering--- they probably don't answer 1/200 guys. Or are dating and ignoring as suggested, getting their ego kibbles while they're dating around.

Be patient. It'll happen.
Agreed. About 6 of the women I e-mailed last week took their pics down or disabled their profile. I guess they get overwhelmed.
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post #32 of 170 (permalink) Old 02-03-2017, 08:13 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Online dating - I do not understand it

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Originally Posted by Spicy View Post
DH said this was absolutely the case, that the women on those have their pick. Even though I was only on a site briefly, it was truly overwhelming the amount of men that started talking to me every single day. I was totally overwhelmed because I hadn't ever done this, nor had I dated since I was a teen.

I tried to politely reply to everyone, after taking the time to read their profile. If they put next to no effort into their profile, I wasn't going to be interested. I was floored how fast they all asked for a date. Now, I think, DUH it's a DATING site, but I just wasn't that far progressed yet!

Love can definitely be found, so don't give up!
No doubt. I can imagine all the notifications the women receive. I might try something like eharmony or chemistry. Just a bit weary as that was where I met my ex-wife, and that was a trainwreck.
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post #33 of 170 (permalink) Old 02-03-2017, 08:15 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Online dating - I do not understand it

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Originally Posted by shldzy View Post
I find 95% of females on any dating website are only on there because they are bored and only on there to fill in time whilst waiting for an Uber, on lunch break at work, laying in bed trying to fall asleep!

I also found that 85% of them are single mums who are now thinking about how FKN stupid they are, and are looking for suckers (good blokes) to be a daddy because the males they had the kids to (bad guys) are all drop kicks!

If you want to meet people online you have to pay for it. Ash ley mad ison, not everyone on there are cheating or in relationships!!

Also try RSVP
Tinder is also the best, a bit shallow but at least people are honest!
It seems, from what I hear, Tinder is just a sex app. Not really just looking for sex.
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post #34 of 170 (permalink) Old 02-03-2017, 08:16 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Online dating - I do not understand it

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Originally Posted by Chuck71 View Post
I've had pretty good luck on POF and OKC. As RandomDude said, Match is a joke. But they do honor the 6 month guarantee. There are many scammers on Match.... and you get messages from the Far East and "Eastern Bloc" Europe on OKC. They're easy to spot though.

I have always said many women are on the sites for attention, many guys are on there for sex. And we all know some women trade sex for attention and some men trade attention for sex. Just the way it is.

Since my break up in November.... I did profiles again on POF, OKC, and meetme (female friend recommended it). Meetme is an obvious "attention site" why.... the females actually tell me this.

I recommend profiles on those three and..... sit back. I get plenty of emails, initiated by the female. Would I date all that initiated, oh he!! no.... but you have a much better chance of it being a legit conversation than you emailed 50 a day and they play tag with all their emails.

OKC has a Quickmatch.... but you have to be a paying member to see who it is..... unless she clicked the star button as well. Then you're told you are a match. In other words click the star as much as you can.... you'd be surprised. Sometimes.... you will get an email saying xxx likes you, but that's semi-rare.

POF has a MeetMe section.... if the female says yes and even maybe, you get an email about who it is. You can view her profile without being signed in. If you are new meat.... you will have 50 yes within the first week. There are quality people on POF and OKC but there also are the dregs of society too. Free site, whatcha expect?

And..... this time around I tried Zoosk. It is $30/month or $60/3 month but like Match... they have additional upgrades they want to nickel and dime you to death on. Now you don't have to pay (like Match) but gosh darn, you can't reply to emails! Now for the spin.... Zoosk has an upgrade, $10/month where guys can email females who are not paying members. About 50% of the females on Zoosk aren't paying. When you just get a wink wink (free) from a female.... and you reply.... 90% of the time you get crickets. They're not paying member and you haven't done the $10 upgrade. To me... if a female wants to meet a quality guy, swipe that debit card just like we do.

Zoosk has a Views section..... you can see who viewed you. Even though you don't click on their profile, Zoosk notifies the female that you viewed her too. I have been on there for two months and I'm going to cancel in a few days. I have 500 views.... and if I went through each one.... within one hour, half of the 500 have viewed me again. No other way to explain it.

I have a very short profile, mostly because everyone window shops. See the pic, like the pic, email. We all know guys do that but the females do as well. On POF I have want kids and have none.... over 50% of my emails are from women 40 and up who does not want kids or "can't." So much for reading profiles huh?

Hope this helps......
Maybe I need to cut my profile down a bit. I tried the okcupid swipe thing, but no one swiped back. I wonder if any women use it?
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post #35 of 170 (permalink) Old 02-03-2017, 08:20 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Online dating - I do not understand it

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Originally Posted by Lila View Post
OP, two questions...

Do you mention your recent divorce in your post? If so, that may be a deterrent on sites like Christian Mingle. Right or wrong, the assumption is that newly divorced people are only looking for a rebound. In other words, not good long term relationship material.

Are you being realistic in your search criteria? I had a good friend who was failing miserably at online dating only to find out that his search range was limited to very fit, beautiful, young women (5-15 years younger). He was none of those things.

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No, I do not mention my divorce. I mention things I like to do and answer the questions the okcupid lists in the profile section. I think I am. I am searching from about 10 years younger to 2 years older. I am fit, relatively successful, and like activities. I also use recent pics which are dated. So far, no luck.
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post #36 of 170 (permalink) Old 02-03-2017, 08:23 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Online dating - I do not understand it

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Originally Posted by Faithful Wife View Post
And 85 - 95% of men on there are older, out of shape, sometimes jobless/have no car/live with their mothers and are looking to hook up for just sex with young, hot women who are completely out of their league, even though they describe themselves as looking for a relationship.

I'm 5'11'', 184 LBS, size 32. Not out of shape. Have a successful business, few cars, own home. All pics are just regular pics, nothing materialistic or gaudy. Not looking for that. One pic is me at the Lincoln Memorial. Others are face and full body shots. I do not have many pics, so when it's nicer I will take more pics.
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post #37 of 170 (permalink) Old 02-03-2017, 08:25 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Online dating - I do not understand it

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Originally Posted by Chuck71 View Post
And many are "stay at home moms" even though their children are grown, are "retired" at 38 with

a HS education (disability), are 32 with four kids by three guys but want to find love (roommate

to share bills), hate the bar scene but can down a 12 pack before I open my 4th beer,

has prom pic up.... from not 2015 but 1995, pics of their kids with captions of their names

and what school they attend (creepy as ****), are general laborers (janitor) and a HS drop out

with more tats than Dennis Rodman but call me shallow when me, a PhD candidate who prefers

intellectuals and people who ENJOY reading do not wish to meet them LOL

OLD in the 21st century.... strap in.... it's a bumpy ride for both!!!
Might just have to consider going it alone for life... Nothing I'm not unprepared for. It would be nice to share with someone. Though, these days, not sure if this is possible. I feel I was born in a different era. Many seem to have different values and just care about $$$ and status.

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Last edited by EleGirl; 02-15-2017 at 12:37 PM.
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post #38 of 170 (permalink) Old 02-03-2017, 08:26 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Online dating - I do not understand it

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Originally Posted by Yorkie_Lover View Post
Almost-Done:

How do you know your profile is good detailed profile of me?

You need a profile that markets you as being emotionally healthy, physically fit, financially secure, intellectually sharp, responsible and somehow indicates that you are a person capable of caring for another. It should describe what is important to you in life and what you are looking for in a partner. You must use current pictures. Having a trusted female friend who knows you critique your profile can be useful.

When I was on POF, I used to look at other mens profiles just to see what kinds of things they wrote. I would have to say that not many men do a stellar job of marketing themselves.

Pay sites like eHarmony or Match generally produce better results than non-pay sites. Why? Because people that are willing to pay for a subscription are serious about finding a mate.

Beyond that, it is a numbers game and it does come in cycles as someone mentioned. The sea is deep and wide, but sometimes the bite just isn't on. Then the tide changes and there's a fish on every pole and that gets hard to handle.

I met my fiancee on eharmony. While that site has some shortcomings, (you don't search, eharmony searches for you) and they sometimes do serve up non-active user profiles), I can't argue with the results I obtained.

Patience is a virtue: I met (in person) at least 35 women in the course of two years before I found the right one.

Good luck!
I did hire a profile reviewer to review my profile a few years ago. I've updated it with new information, but in the same format.
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post #39 of 170 (permalink) Old 02-03-2017, 08:28 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Online dating - I do not understand it

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I really hope and pray I never have to get into online dating. It seems like such a hassle.

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Yea, makes me think I should had stayed in a loveless, sexless, roommate type of marriage. This is brutal.
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post #40 of 170 (permalink) Old 02-03-2017, 08:38 PM
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Re: Online dating - I do not understand it

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Yea, makes me think I should had stayed in a loveless, sexless, roommate type of marriage. This is brutal.
Yeah, I imagine it is. I was more talking about the concept of online dating vs going out to social gatherings and the such and doing it the old fashioned way. It just seems like online dating is so stacked against men in general. It's like pimping yourself somehow. You have to sell yourself like a used car salesman. Send out 500 likes and hope one or two respond? Ugh! I hope my wife and I stay married until I die or am too old to worry about dating again.

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"You are talking about the nonsensical ravings of a lunatic mind!" Victor Von Frankenstein
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post #41 of 170 (permalink) Old 02-03-2017, 09:56 PM
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Re: Online dating - I do not understand it

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Originally Posted by TX-SC View Post
Yeah, I imagine it is. I was more talking about the concept of online dating vs going out to social gatherings and the such and doing it the old fashioned way. It just seems like online dating is so stacked against men in general. It's like pimping yourself somehow. You have to sell yourself like a used car salesman. Send out 500 likes and hope one or two respond? Ugh! I hope my wife and I stay married until I die or am too old to worry about dating again.


Um, its stacked against women too. Yes, I get all sorts of attention and messages however, at least 75% of the conversations turn into a solicitation for sexual talk or nude pictures within 5 minutes or less. Sorry dude, but I am not there to provide you with masturbation fodder.

The remaining 25% message me because they want marriage and children (wtf, Im 60 years old) or they are looking for a sugar momma.

I can tell that no one, thus far, has read my profile they just look at the pictures. If they did spend 2 seconds reading, they would know that I am waaaay too old for them, waaaay past childbearing years, am not religious or I live 3000 miles away.

That is my experience thus far. I have been online "dating" for about 6 months. Its ridiculous.
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post #42 of 170 (permalink) Old 02-03-2017, 10:15 PM
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Originally Posted by Almost-Done View Post
So, back in this online dating game on a couple of pay sites, but I do not get it. I have a good detailed profile of me, 10 - 12 recent pics, and I message the women I am interested in. I read their profile and then I e-mail them a question or comment on something I read within their profile. Over the past 3 weeks, must have e-mailed 50 women, two replied. One took two weeks to reply, but asked me what I am doing this weekend. The other, nothing yet on my last reply.

Am I missing something?
It's instant gratification for women, they get HUNDREDS of messages. Not even kidding, I know this because I just so happened to have met my wife on one. She said she would often get upwards of 100 messages a day. I guess I just stood out to her, but that's after I had been on that site for over two years. But I did the same thing, I would try to write something meaningful, thought provoking, or related to their interests and I maybe had 1 or two responses a week
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post #43 of 170 (permalink) Old 02-03-2017, 10:41 PM
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Re: Online dating - I do not understand it

It's tough to snag yourself a single, successful cute chick on these apps. A couple of friends of mine are on tinder and bumble and they are 30 and attractive and they balance like 25 active conversations at once. It's ridiculous.
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post #44 of 170 (permalink) Old 02-03-2017, 11:52 PM
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Re: Online dating - I do not understand it

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I really hope and pray I never have to get into online dating. It seems like such a hassle.

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It can be but I met some really nice people that way. Normal dating is just as much hassle and its harder to meet people anyway.
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post #45 of 170 (permalink) Old 02-03-2017, 11:54 PM
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Re: Online dating - I do not understand it

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It's tough to snag yourself a single, successful cute chick on these apps. A couple of friends of mine are on tinder and bumble and they are 30 and attractive and they balance like 25 active conversations at once. It's ridiculous.
It is ridiculous, but they are more for meeting for sex rather than for those seeking a proper mature long term relationship.
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