Online dating - I do not understand it - Page 5 - Talk About Marriage
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post #61 of 169 (permalink) Old 02-04-2017, 04:14 PM
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Online dating - I do not understand it

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post #62 of 169 (permalink) Old 02-04-2017, 04:21 PM
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Re: Online dating - I do not understand it

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Originally Posted by Miss Independent View Post
What do you usually say when you email/message a woman for the first time?


A dude on Match sent me this:

He came across as a desperate and weird guy.

Is it possible that you come across as desperate?

From your original post, I feel as if you're trying to feel a void.

I'm not trying to be mean.


Everybody doing online dating is trying to fill some void or need. That's the point.

Do you mean the less needy he appears, the better his chances?
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post #63 of 169 (permalink) Old 02-04-2017, 06:03 PM
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Online dating - I do not understand it

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post #64 of 169 (permalink) Old 02-04-2017, 07:07 PM
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Re: Online dating - I do not understand it

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Ouch!

Writing that is a great way to avoid getting dates.
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post #65 of 169 (permalink) Old 02-04-2017, 09:34 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Online dating - I do not understand it

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In that case, I don't know what it could. Do you live in a Metropolitan area?

Something that's becoming more popular where I live are matchmaking services, especially for those age 35+ on solid financial footing. Most come with a hefty price tag (upwards of $1,200) but they guarantee their services. Many of them also provide coaching at no extra cost; this can be anything from profile reviews (including photographing) to recommendations for lifestyle changes. It's an option if you feel comfortable with this sort of thing.
Not sure. It's Metro NY/NJ, so there is a lot of competition. Not sure I want to go spend 1000+ plus for a matchmaker.
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post #66 of 169 (permalink) Old 02-04-2017, 09:41 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Online dating - I do not understand it

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Originally Posted by Miss Independent View Post
What do you usually say when you email/message a woman for the first time?


A dude on Match sent me this:

He came across as a desperate and weird guy.

Is it possible that you come across as desperate?

From your original post, I feel as if you're trying to feel a void.

I'm not trying to be mean.
Doubtful. I say hey, saw your profile. What are some of your goals in life? Or, you love your dogs. What breeds are they (if they have dogs)? Or, I see you are finishing up your residency. What did you specialize in? After a couple of messages, I ask for their first name, if I do not already have it and if they'd like to meet for a drink. I do not believe that is acting desperate.
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post #67 of 169 (permalink) Old 02-05-2017, 04:15 AM
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Re: Online dating - I do not understand it

Many women are all about the visual. It is brutal but when OLD the first thing most go for is appearance and then the profile. If and when a woman does reply you can have some confidence she finds you attractive.
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post #68 of 169 (permalink) Old 02-05-2017, 08:47 AM
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Re: Online dating - I do not understand it

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Originally Posted by MrsHolland View Post
Many women are all about the visual. It is brutal but when OLD the first thing most go for is appearance and then the profile. If and when a woman does reply you can have some confidence she finds you attractive.
Assuming, of course, the profile pics have anything to do with reality

It may be worthwhile (for the desperados at least) to have some pro photographer shoot said pics but in an understated way.
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post #69 of 169 (permalink) Old 02-05-2017, 08:51 AM
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Re: Online dating - I do not understand it

It's amazing how much online dating, especially the apps where you can swipe, really are an epitome of life. 80% of women go after 20% of the guys. And these guys know it and just are in it to get laid. Then women complain, but they have created this situation. It's anazing how many attractive women I find in my age group that have never been married but say they are looking for "the one to settle down with".
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post #70 of 169 (permalink) Old 02-05-2017, 10:20 PM
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Re: Online dating - I do not understand it

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And I've found that there are just as many women in the very same boat!
Yes Arb....my post was in response to a guy posting about how women are skanks and men are honorable....so I posted mine saying men are skanks on there, too. And here you are to keep the round about going....

My whole point was to say that PEOPLE are skanks when considering the masses, and there's no reason to try to make it seem that one gender is better or worse than the other.

Remember the goal of feminism: Making sure only alphas get laid!
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post #71 of 169 (permalink) Old 02-05-2017, 10:32 PM
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Re: Online dating - I do not understand it

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It's amazing how much online dating, especially the apps where you can swipe, really are an epitome of life. 80% of women go after 20% of the guys. And these guys know it and just are in it to get laid. Then women complain, but they have created this situation. It's anazing how many attractive women I find in my age group that have never been married but say they are looking for "the one to settle down with".
Yep......men innocent, women evil.

Who is complaining, though? You mean your several attractive female friends in your age group that have never been married but are looking for the one to settle down with? Are they all skanks and horrible people? Did they waste their youth on the c*ck carousel?

Look the reality is that if you have a sh*tty attitude, you are not likely to have much luck anywhere in dating, and if you do have luck you are going to attract someone who for one reason or another, has just as sh*tty of an attitude as you do, it just might manifest differently in them. So sure, a guy with a sh*tty attitude may once in awhile attract a woman he finds highly attractive, but he will soon find out things that are not attractive about her....and then he will project his displeasure and distaste toward all women....thus keeping his attitude in such a sh*tty level that again, that's all he will attract.

I've had horrendous horrible messages from creepers on dating sites...but that's the only "bad" thing that's ever happened to me. I'm not complaining about anything (creepers be creeping, its not just on OLD). I've had lots of fun dates and experiences from OLD, and one 6 month relationship that was just perfect for me, in the right time, right place sort of way, from OLD.

I've met plenty of guys who are "just in it to get laid", but actually I've met more of those in real life than I have on OLD. The guys on OLD who write their profiles in a way that indicate he is not "just in it to get laid" are usually being forthright and honest. There are those who make it clear they are in it to get laid, so if you aren't in it for that, it is easy to avoid those guys.

I'm just saying...if you have an overall bad attitude about the opposite gender (and the post I quoted reeks of this) then you are not likely to attract a happy, well adjusted person no matter where you seek them.

Remember the goal of feminism: Making sure only alphas get laid!
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post #72 of 169 (permalink) Old 02-05-2017, 10:34 PM
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Cool Re: Online dating - I do not understand it

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Originally Posted by Faithful Wife View Post
Yes Arb....my post was in response to a guy posting about how women are skanks and men are honorable....so I posted mine saying men are skanks on there, too. And here you are to keep the round about going....

My whole point was to say that PEOPLE are skanks when considering the masses, and there's no reason to try to make it seem that one gender is better or worse than the other.
Wasn't in the least bit of disagreement with you at all, FW!

There are, IMHO, preeminently more "skanks" out there who have to unzip their trouser fly to stand in front of a urinal than those who don skirts and blouses!

Skanks come in both sexes, all shapes and sizes, and always have a built-in excuse or alibi for everything!

"To love another person is to see the face of God!" - Jean Valjean from Les Miserables

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post #73 of 169 (permalink) Old 02-06-2017, 05:51 AM
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Re: Online dating - I do not understand it

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It's amazing how much online dating, especially the apps where you can swipe, really are an epitome of life. 80% of women go after 20% of the guys. And these guys know it and just are in it to get laid. Then women complain, but they have created this situation. It's anazing how many attractive women I find in my age group that have never been married but say they are looking for "the one to settle down with".
Ey? What's wrong with that? It keeps the competition manageable. In poker, we call this "clearing out the table". You want to be the 20%, and when you find the right one you want to be the one and only. That's why we say when it comes to dating, you need to love yourself first, focus on being the right person instead of finding the right person.

I'm picky as hell too!
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post #74 of 169 (permalink) Old 02-06-2017, 09:03 AM
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Re: Online dating - I do not understand it

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Yep......men innocent, women evil.
I'm not saying that. I am saying that the ease of the situation feeds right into the belly of the beast. If you are a young/cute woman, you are bombarded with guys who want you. You then focus on getting the best one. The best one knows this and ends up using you. Guys are just as evil.

Quote:
Who is complaining, though? You mean your several attractive female friends in your age group that have never been married but are looking for the one to settle down with? Are they all skanks and horrible people? Did they waste their youth on the c*ck carousel?
Well, the friends, they aren't MY age group. They are 10 years younger and friends of friends, blah blah blah. However, they balance like 20+ conversations.

I was referring to the ones in MY age group, that have comments like (if they don't respond it's cause they are picky) and all other sorts of things, and then complain how there are no good guys out there. Maybe there aren't any good guys, but maybe cause you ain't a good girl...
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post #75 of 169 (permalink) Old 02-06-2017, 11:48 AM
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Re: Online dating - I do not understand it

OP,

In addition to online dating maybe you should try to be more outgoing and make some good acquaintances/friends. Lots of people get fixed up by mutual friends. I have friends that do online dating. The really good looking ones always seem to have dates. Actually, the really good looking ones get hit on regularly in public too. My other friends have to work a lot harder to get noticed in online dating. The interesting thing is they actually do much better just going out and meeting women. That way they can chat a bit and be more than just a profile and a pic.
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