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post #16 of 74 (permalink) Old 02-17-2017, 01:27 PM
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Re: Men who shun porn.

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Originally Posted by Tillaan View Post
This is perfectly as long as it worked for the both of you. I think that is a key thing in the debate.

Here's and example of where it wasn't healthy:
I was perfectly ok with my STBXW watching porn, she liked porn I had zero interest in watching (guy on guy) when it began to be a problem is when she started relating our sex life to the videos and taking care of herself during the day before I came home and no longer being interested in the real thing. She actually said "I can get myself off 20 times in a few minutes, I no longer need a man" major reason for our marriage breakdown. Porn during the day while kids are at school was far easier than finding time without the kids around at night.


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Thats one of the many many dangers of porn, that the porn user no longer wants a real life relationship, and in some cases cant have a real life relationship because of the damage porn has done to their minds and sexual desires. Its an evil thing.
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post #17 of 74 (permalink) Old 02-17-2017, 01:33 PM
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Re: Men who shun porn.

One of my husbands friends thinks that porn is bad and is there to ruin the tradition of family and real enjoyable sex between a couple. He had a point.

But then he also took one of my fashion magazines, there was an article with naked ladies promoting "you don't have to be a supermodel to look good naked"

When my husband told me, I was angry, those women didn't pose for men to do whatever. I would have felt better if he had bought women posing for a men's magazine instead.
So now I just hide all my magazines and books now if he's visiting!

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post #18 of 74 (permalink) Old 02-17-2017, 01:56 PM
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Re: Men who shun porn.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tillaan View Post
This is perfectly as long as it worked for the both of you. I think that is a key thing in the debate.

Here's and example of where it wasn't healthy:
I was perfectly ok with my STBXW watching porn, she liked porn I had zero interest in watching (guy on guy) when it began to be a problem is when she started relating our sex life to the videos and taking care of herself during the day before I came home and no longer being interested in the real thing. She actually said "I can get myself off 20 times in a few minutes, I no longer need a man" major reason for our marriage breakdown. Porn during the day while kids are at school was far easier than finding time without the kids around at night.


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Even though we had a mutual view on porn he still ended up cheating with hookers on Craigslist.

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post #19 of 74 (permalink) Old 02-17-2017, 03:39 PM
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Re: Men who shun porn.

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I recently rewatched my very first porn, can't believe how young I looked!
*ahem* Care to share?
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post #20 of 74 (permalink) Old 02-17-2017, 03:54 PM
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Re: Men who shun porn.

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Originally Posted by MrsAldi View Post
But then he also took one of my fashion magazines, there was an article with naked ladies promoting "you don't have to be a supermodel to look good naked"

When my husband told me, I was angry, those women didn't pose for men to do whatever. I would have felt better if he had bought women posing for a men's magazine instead.
I can't relate. If I ever found out that some lady was using my photo to masturbate to, I'd have a smile on my face and a bounce my step lasting all day.
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post #21 of 74 (permalink) Old 02-17-2017, 04:41 PM
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Re: Men who shun porn.

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I recently rewatched my very first porn, can't believe how young I looked!
Did you swallow or spit?

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post #22 of 74 (permalink) Old 02-17-2017, 05:02 PM
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Re: Men who shun porn.

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Did you swallow or spit?
You forgot the cymbal crash.
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post #23 of 74 (permalink) Old 02-17-2017, 05:32 PM
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Re: Men who shun porn.

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Originally Posted by Diana7 View Post
Thats one of the many many dangers of porn, that the porn user no longer wants a real life relationship, and in some cases cant have a real life relationship because of the damage porn has done to their minds and sexual desires. Its an evil thing.
I think it helps in this regard if you only masturbate to ugly women.
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post #24 of 74 (permalink) Old 02-17-2017, 05:57 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Men who shun porn.

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Originally Posted by SilentLucidity View Post
Even though we had a mutual view on porn he still ended up cheating with hookers on Craigslist.

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The porn wired his brain for more novelty in order to feel the same amount of endorphins. It's like moving from cigarette--> weed --> eventually meth.

You, became his 5cent candy while he tries Oreo Mcflurry, and hotel five star desserts.
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post #25 of 74 (permalink) Old 02-17-2017, 06:14 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Men who shun porn.

[QUOTE=

Did you ever encourage your husband to masturbate? Do you ever think you could do that in a nurturing way so that you give him something extremely enjoyable to think about and look forwards to in the relationship? A simple example might be to just buy a jar of coconut oil in the grocery store, and ask your husband to enjoy exploring himself with it while imagining putting as much as he wants allover and wherever he wants on you. Then after he enjoys exploring that all alone, instead of watching porn, he will be coming up with all kinds of creative ideas on how to please you with ample amounts of coconut oil.

Hope that helps,
Badsanta[/QUOTE]



.
Thank you, Badsanta. and thank you, all for sharing.

Yeah, besides getting a roken heart, I too realized I have to nurture his sexual needs. I dress better and sexier, started wearing some makeup, and initiate sex now. I used to just wait for him and put no effort in seducing him...due to ignorance.

Fast forward to now: This year May, he will have work training in another country, for three months straight. The children and I can't go with him. And I am worried. I am afraid he might relapse. It is too tempting when you are alone, you know...

He suggested that I post some sexy pictures on dropbox for his future use. I don't mind... I plan to wear a mask or cut out my face pic.

I also plan to ask him to use this phone monitoring /accountability app... What advice will you all give in approaching the issue?
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post #26 of 74 (permalink) Old 02-17-2017, 09:22 PM
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Re: Men who shun porn.

If it has a plot, sure
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post #27 of 74 (permalink) Old 02-18-2017, 01:23 AM
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Re: Men who shun porn.

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If it has a plot, sure
Have you noticed how quickly the plumbers call to the house in these "movies".
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post #28 of 74 (permalink) Old 02-18-2017, 02:10 AM
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Re: Men who shun porn.

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Originally Posted by SilentLucidity View Post
Even though we had a mutual view on porn he still ended up cheating with hookers on Craigslist.

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That can happen. The ex husband of a lady I used to know went from porn to contacting women on line, to meeting them for sex.
Porn opens the door to all sorts of horrible things.
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post #29 of 74 (permalink) Old 02-18-2017, 02:31 AM
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Re: Men who shun porn.

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Porn opens the door to all sorts of horrible things.
Like my almost 18 year happy marriage within my faithful and monogamous circa 21 year sexual relationship.
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post #30 of 74 (permalink) Old 02-18-2017, 05:24 AM
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Re: Men who shun porn.

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Originally Posted by Diana7 View Post
That can happen. The ex husband of a lady I used to know went from porn to contacting women on line, to meeting them for sex.
Porn opens the door to all sorts of horrible things.
Actually he opened the door.

Not porn.

He was seeking something other than his poor wife. And he found it. He would have done that without porn.

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http://mygeneralblog1.blogspot.co.uk...-cheaters.html (Be afraid UK cheaters! CheaterVille has come to the UK!
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