Men who shun porn. - Page 5 - Talk About Marriage
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post #61 of 74 (permalink) Old 02-22-2017, 11:30 AM
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Re: Men who shun porn.

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Originally Posted by Snowflakes View Post
I'm not a man but why do men need to watch porn if they already have a partner around ? I believe having sex with your partner would make you feel better than touching yourself while watching porn wouldn't it ?
I'm male and I agree. However, the reason why I view it sometimes for a release is because my wife has a lower drive than I do. I would prefer that she was HD, (high drive, not hi-def) but that isn't the case.
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post #62 of 74 (permalink) Old 02-22-2017, 11:35 AM
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Men who shun porn.

Exactly. The reality is most spouses are not ALWAYS available and willing. Some are... but that's the minority.

And there are women who pride themselves on never refusing... but lay there like a dead fish.
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post #63 of 74 (permalink) Old 02-22-2017, 11:35 AM
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Re: Men who shun porn.

I have seen porn and a lot of it insults my intelligence, let alone the repetetive nature, and the plethora of kinks that are now commonly available. (I have a client who has a website wherein he has sex on camera with mature women. He is in a group that produces porn aimed at men that like larger women, very much older women, and just about everything else under the sun). Frankly, I used to find the older stag films hilarious (horrible production values, people appearing in socks and shoes, not the most attractive actors etc etc.) Now, it looks pretty much the same and is boring.
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post #64 of 74 (permalink) Old 02-22-2017, 11:45 AM
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Re: Men who shun porn.

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Originally Posted by Maricha75 View Post
Which still did not answer her question. She said she does not understand why someone who has a willing and able partner would choose to watch porn. I think that is a legitimate question. Answering "for the same reasons a woman does" is not a real answer. She asked because she doesn't get why a man would watch it when his partner is available, and wants sex. The same applies to asking why a woman would watch it when her partner is available and wants sex.

Now, whether I agree with it or not, I do understand why one would watch when being rebuffed by his or her partner. Or, even when not rebuffed, but seeming indifference. That makes sense, to me. But when partners are willing and able to have sex with each other, porn viewing makes no sense to me, either. However, it isn't for me to dictate anyone else's choice in viewing materials.
Some of us just ENJOY looking at Erotic stuff.. I enjoy reading it too, can't wait to see the new "50 shades of Grey" - and I'm not even into bondage & all that.. but still enjoy it...Some people love sports.... this would bore me & husband... he likes Erotic images, I prefer some video images, steamy soft core romance type .... he never watches that unless it's with me ...it is what it is.. it's not making us want to cheat or be with anyone else....I love everything about sex.. I like to look at it.

We have a friend with some unique artwork in his house... some may think it's too graphic.. a man sucking on a woman's breast, it's not a photograph but a sculpture of sorts.... another of the upper body of a male and female made out of steel with obvious curves / bulges ... this is their decor above their living room couch ... I like it... it's celebrating the sexes...

Maybe I don't know the real difference between "erotica" and porn even... never really explored that....I think porn is more UP CLOSE -genitals in & out (we don't care for this either).... Erotica, to me, is more a celebration of love making / the beauty of our bodies together.. (we've taped ourselves too -in that celebration).
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post #65 of 74 (permalink) Old 02-22-2017, 06:02 PM Thread Starter
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Porn to me simply means online prostitution. Porn star is only a fancy name for online prostitute.

The online protitutes do it for money and self validation

and sometimes were forced and manipulated to have sex with men who has no interest of their wellbeing.

Watching porn is a form of cheating since it is the same as bringing a naked woman/men (not your spouse) into the bedroom...for your viewing pleasure. Just like letting your spouse use a gigolo/**** service...just not touching them.

The only difference is that online prostitution is done in front of a camera. That's all the difference. You may not pay for the service but they are still paid...your mouse click and per view is still counted.

Saying it is not real is like giving wives permission to send sexy photos and videos to other men. There are just pixels, right?

------

For cases where the wives have no desire to habe sex with the husbands... Husbands should give marriedmansexlife website a look.

-----

I told my husband that if i caught him cheating again, i will still be a good maid, a good nanny and a good cook...but just no sex. Why?

Because his loyalty = opportunity have sex with me.
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post #66 of 74 (permalink) Old 02-27-2017, 05:02 PM
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Re: Men who shun porn.

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Originally Posted by Safflower View Post
Porn to me simply means online prostitution. Porn star is only a fancy name for online prostitute.

The online protitutes do it for money and self validation

and sometimes were forced and manipulated to have sex with men who has no interest of their wellbeing.

Watching porn is a form of cheating since it is the same as bringing a naked woman/men (not your spouse) into the bedroom...for your viewing pleasure. Just like letting your spouse use a gigolo/**** service...just not touching them.

The only difference is that online prostitution is done in front of a camera. That's all the difference. You may not pay for the service but they are still paid...your mouse click and per view is still counted.

Saying it is not real is like giving wives permission to send sexy photos and videos to other men. There are just pixels, right?

------

For cases where the wives have no desire to habe sex with the husbands... Husbands should give marriedmansexlife website a look.

-----

I told my husband that if i caught him cheating again, i will still be a good maid, a good nanny and a good cook...but just no sex. Why?

Because his loyalty = opportunity have sex with me.


Well I applaud your strong stance. My only advice would be to now let it go. You told him your boundary, you told him what would happen if he crosses that boundary and that's all you can do. The rest is up to him. I think that controlling him and having him use monitoring apps is going too far. He is your husband, you need to respect him and treat him like a man. Putting him on a short leash and monitoring him is not right. And two wrongs don't make a right. Goodluck )
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post #67 of 74 (permalink) Old 02-28-2017, 11:06 AM
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Re: Men who shun porn.

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Originally Posted by Maricha75 View Post
Which still did not answer her question. She said she does not understand why someone who has a willing and able partner would choose to watch porn. I think that is a legitimate question. Answering "for the same reasons a woman does" is not a real answer. She asked because she doesn't get why a man would watch it when his partner is available, and wants sex. The same applies to asking why a woman would watch it when her partner is available and wants sex.
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IMO - most women are not as willing and able as they claim on the internet. (and reading here enough, the same could be said about some/many men).

It is easier, as you don't have to 'warm up the engine'.

It can be an addiction, which really makes no sense to me, but alas.

FWIW, I avoid porn, but I can see why some men and women use it and how easy it is to abuse it.
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post #68 of 74 (permalink) Old 02-28-2017, 11:50 AM
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I don't use porn or watch porn unless the wife want to watch I was a huge porn watcher I used to know all actresses and movies I have 2 girls and look at it in a different view now
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post #69 of 74 (permalink) Old 02-28-2017, 01:48 PM
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Re: Men who shun porn.

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Originally Posted by Safflower View Post
Hi guys,

Are there married man who do not use porn ?

I do know the existence of people who think porn is okay : nothing wrong and could actually help in intimacy. But right now I really appreciate it alot if those who don't use it ( or try not to) to show yourself.

---
For me, it is a form of cheating and it hurts as hell. Pro-porn, save your energy. I already did the self-reflection, liberal thinking and research.
I've watched porn my entire adult life. If you compared it to alcohol consumption, I would be the guy having a drink or two every other night, not getting drunk every night. Recently I completely stopped and it has helped my relationship.

If I had to describe "how" it helped I would say that it helped me control my sexual urges and made me a stronger person. At 55 years of age having been married for 25 years, I think maybe it's time to act my age. Why lust after something I can never have and never really want to have?

I love my wife and until she dies or I die, she is it. Why not concentrate on lusting after my her and not some stranger?

Anyway, sex is good. Lack of porn seems to have allowed me to become more of a man in my wifes eyes. That can't be a bad thing.
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post #70 of 74 (permalink) Old 02-28-2017, 02:03 PM
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Re: Men who shun porn.

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Originally Posted by UMP View Post
I've watched porn my entire adult life. If you compared it to alcohol consumption, I would be the guy having a drink or two every other night, not getting drunk every night. Recently I completely stopped and it has helped my relationship.

If I had to describe "how" it helped I would say that it helped me control my sexual urges and made me a stronger person. At 55 years of age having been married for 25 years, I think maybe it's time to act my age. Why lust after something I can never have and never really want to have?

I love my wife and until she dies or I die, she is it. Why not concentrate on lusting after my her and not some stranger?

Anyway, sex is good. Lack of porn seems to have allowed me to become more of a man in my wifes eyes. That can't be a bad thing.
Was you wife ok about this all these years?

I have so much respect for my own husband because he goes against the flow and never looks at porn. Sex is far better because of that. I would loose all respect if he did.
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post #71 of 74 (permalink) Old 02-28-2017, 02:04 PM
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Re: Men who shun porn.

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Originally Posted by SimplyAmorous View Post
Some of us just ENJOY looking at Erotic stuff.. I enjoy reading it too, can't wait to see the new "50 shades of Grey" - and I'm not even into bondage & all that.. but still enjoy it...Some people love sports.... this would bore me & husband... he likes Erotic images, I prefer some video images, steamy soft core romance type .... he never watches that unless it's with me ...it is what it is.. it's not making us want to cheat or be with anyone else....I love everything about sex.. I like to look at it.

We have a friend with some unique artwork in his house... some may think it's too graphic.. a man sucking on a woman's breast, it's not a photograph but a sculpture of sorts.... another of the upper body of a male and female made out of steel with obvious curves / bulges ... this is their decor above their living room couch ... I like it... it's celebrating the sexes...

Maybe I don't know the real difference between "erotica" and porn even... never really explored that....I think porn is more UP CLOSE -genitals in & out (we don't care for this either).... Erotica, to me, is more a celebration of love making / the beauty of our bodies together.. (we've taped ourselves too -in that celebration).
I enjoy eating cakes but that doesn't men its good for me.
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post #72 of 74 (permalink) Old 02-28-2017, 02:27 PM
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Re: Men who shun porn.

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Originally Posted by Diana7 View Post
Was you wife ok about this all these years?

I have so much respect for my own husband because he goes against the flow and never looks at porn. Sex is far better because of that. I would loose all respect if he did.
My wife knew. She has always known. You could say she tolerated it. In the end, it was MY own loss. As you obviously know "respect" is key in a relationship. The more respect a man can earn from his wife, the more she will want him, in all manner.

Talk of fidelity is just that, it's talk. However, walking the "talk" by not lusting after other women is a whole different kind of aphrodisiac!
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post #73 of 74 (permalink) Old 02-28-2017, 03:38 PM
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Re: Men who shun porn.

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Originally Posted by UMP View Post
My wife knew. She has always known. You could say she tolerated it. In the end, it was MY own loss. As you obviously know "respect" is key in a relationship. The more respect a man can earn from his wife, the more she will want him, in all manner.

Talk of fidelity is just that, it's talk. However, walking the "talk" by not lusting after other women is a whole different kind of aphrodisiac!
You are right, I am glad that you have found that out. Respect is vital for a man, and I could never respect a man who treated me that way. I could never respect myself if I treated him that way.
I wouldn't have put up with it all those years. I would have done what another lady I know did, she eventually gave her husband a choice, her or the porn. He realised she was serious and he stopped.
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post #74 of 74 (permalink) Old 02-28-2017, 08:03 PM
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Re: Men who shun porn.

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Originally Posted by Safflower View Post
Hi guys,

Are there married man who do not use porn ?

I do know the existence of people who think porn is okay : nothing wrong and could actually help in intimacy. But right now I really appreciate it alot if those who don't use it ( or try not to) to show yourself.

---
For me, it is a form of cheating and it hurts as hell. Pro-porn, save your energy. I already did the self-reflection, liberal thinking and research.
I watch porn all the time, I would have sex multiple times a day if not, I am a sex crazed addict who need help, with my natural desire to pound my wife, all day long.
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