How would you answer this question? - Page 2 - Talk About Marriage
The Men's Clubhouse Talk about life's dilemmas.

User Tag List

 16Likes
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
post #16 of 37 (permalink) Old 02-22-2017, 03:18 PM
Member
 
C3156's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 420
Re: How would you answer this question?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Daisy12 View Post
If your SO asked you this what would be your answer,

"After we have sex do you feel,
emotionally very close to my wife. It is an incredible bonding experience for us both. I will admit that sometimes when we have not had sex in a while, it can be quite the physical release as well.
C3156 is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #17 of 37 (permalink) Old 02-22-2017, 03:23 PM
urf
Member
 
urf's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 125
Re: How would you answer this question?

Isn't sex about YOUR needs. If he gets what he wants out of it then good for him, he'll keep coming back for more. Do you get what YOU want out of it? Will you go back for more?
urf is online now  
post #18 of 37 (permalink) Old 02-22-2017, 03:24 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 1,193
Re: How would you answer this question?

If my So asked me these questions I wouldn't answer without a lawyer present.
Andy1001 is offline  
post #19 of 37 (permalink) Old 02-22-2017, 09:34 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: South West
Posts: 510
Re: How would you answer this question?

I didn't read everyone else's answers yet but I feel closer and stress free primarily while feeling some physical relief. Unless I was really wound up and chasing her around the house then I really feel physically relieved and closer to her as the top two feelings. Followed by that nice stress free feeling in 3rd place.

So basically while those answers are the same 3 the first one is vastly more overpowering than the other two feelings and tied to how or why sex was initiated. If it was spontaneous or had happened recently I would feel closer, a lot closer. If it had been a while or she worked me up a lot and I had that primitive animal style drive going it would be a huge physical relief followed about a minute or two later with a transition into feeling closer.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Tillaan is online now  
post #20 of 37 (permalink) Old 02-22-2017, 09:45 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 130
Re: How would you answer this question?

I'm a woman and i get the blank brain for a few minutes afterward especially if it was a really consuming and vigorous session. My brain kind of fuzzes around the edges for a few minutes before it hums back to life! Takes a few to come back down from the clouds and solidify again.
Saibasu is offline  
post #21 of 37 (permalink) Old 02-22-2017, 09:50 PM
Member
 
*Deidre*'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: Somewhere else...
Posts: 2,867
Re: How would you answer this question?

I will ask my fiance, but something tells me he will say that he feels closer to me, and physically relieved at the same time. I feel that way towards him, after sex.

Sometimes, you fall in love with the most unexpected person, at the most unexpected time. ~ Unknown
*Deidre* is offline  
post #22 of 37 (permalink) Old 02-22-2017, 10:01 PM
Member
 
Vinnydee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Southern USA, but longtime NYC boy prior to our move.
Posts: 450
Re: How would you answer this question?

The answer should be all but totally blank. When you have sex it releases Oxytocin which emotionally bonds you so you feel close. That is why sex is so important to a marriage. Most people do not know the science of sex and love, just the physical effects.

Oxytocin will also make a man happy with is relationship and that is why Oxytocin is referred to the Cuddle hormone. It is what makes you want to cuddle after sex.

A man will naturally be physically relieved since our hormones urge us on to have sex and and orgasm.

Sex does relieve stress and is often used for that so I also feel stress relief.

My fill in the blank would be that it makes me feel like I want to do it again.

Basically a man should/would feel all but the blank feeling.

Many prefer to drown in a pool of their own morality rather than seek the safety of a different morality.
Vinnydee is offline  
post #23 of 37 (permalink) Old 02-22-2017, 10:10 PM
Moderator
 
EleGirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: New Mexico
Posts: 31,595
Re: How would you answer this question?

Quote:
Originally Posted by urf View Post
Isn't sex about YOUR needs. If he gets what he wants out of it then good for him, he'll keep coming back for more. Do you get what YOU want out of it? Will you go back for more?
When you have sex, are you only concerned about your own needs?
EleGirl is online now  
post #24 of 37 (permalink) Old 02-22-2017, 10:58 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 1,502
Re: How would you answer this question?

Happy.
Personal is offline  
post #25 of 37 (permalink) Old 02-23-2017, 01:09 AM
Forum Supporter
 
arbitrator's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Central Texas/Brazos Valley
Posts: 11,080
Cool Re: How would you answer this question?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Daisy12 View Post
I asked my husband this question and was very surprised by his answer. I'm wondering if other guys feel the same way he does or is he in the minority of male thinking.

If your SO asked you this what would be your answer,

"After we have sex do you feel,
- physically relieved
- closer to me
- happy about our family/relationship
- totally blank
- relaxed/stress free
- Blank (you fill in the blank)

Basically I wanted to know how he views sex so I could better understand his needs. I've read a lot of book on improving our marriage and improving myself to be a better wife and they all give their opinions on how men really think about sex, so I was curious as to what the adverage man, husband , father feels.
All of the above with the exception of "blank!"

Also, with regard to my RSXW's enabled, tatted, disrespectful, dopehead kids, I never ever considered them as part of the equation!

I felt good and peaceful just about everything else!

"To love another person is to see the face of God!" - Jean Valjean from Les Miserables

My Story! http://talkaboutmarriage.com/going-t...andonment.html
arbitrator is online now  
post #26 of 37 (permalink) Old 02-23-2017, 10:08 AM
urf
Member
 
urf's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 125
Re: How would you answer this question?

Quote:
Originally Posted by EleGirl View Post
When you have sex, are you only concerned about your own needs?
Yes. The act of sex is a process. It has a starting point a middle and an end. During that process there comes a time when it becomes all about "me". So much of sex takes place inside one's own head wouldn't you agree? To achieve orgasm one is required to abandon the rational mind and exist in a place of temporary fantasy. A sort of insanity. The French call it La petite mort. Years ago we used to say that we are all responsible for our own orgasms. During the overall process there is a portion of the experience when one is called on to act as the expediter to our partners fantasy moment. This action is conscious and comes from the rational mind. In turn our partners act in the same way toward us. In that way each of us is and should be "only concerned with our own momentary experience of La petite mort (rather than needs).

"Needs" is a larger, broader subject.
urf is online now  
post #27 of 37 (permalink) Old 02-23-2017, 11:25 AM
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 201
Re: How would you answer this question?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Daisy12 View Post
I asked my husband this question and was very surprised by his answer. I'm wondering if other guys feel the same way he does or is he in the minority of male thinking.

If your SO asked you this what would be your answer,

"After we have sex do you feel,
- physically relieved
- closer to me
- happy about our family/relationship
- totally blank
- relaxed/stress free
- Blank (you fill in the blank)

Basically I wanted to know how he views sex so I could better understand his needs. I've read a lot of book on improving our marriage and improving myself to be a better wife and they all give their opinions on how men really think about sex, so I was curious as to what the adverage man, husband , father feels.

- physically relieved - Yes

- closer to me - extremely

- happy about our family/relationship - Yes

- relaxed/stress free - Yes
MovingForward is offline  
post #28 of 37 (permalink) Old 02-23-2017, 12:02 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 1,573
Re: How would you answer this question?

Quote:
Originally Posted by manwithnoname;17413618And importantly, [B
I feel like a man.
[/B][/B]
As opposed to WHAT? Feeling like an armadillo the rest of the time? (sorry, couldn't resist )

Last edited by Vega; 02-23-2017 at 12:06 PM.
Vega is online now  
post #29 of 37 (permalink) Old 02-23-2017, 01:35 PM
Member
 
Fozzy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 4,526
Re: How would you answer this question?

At various points of my life, I'd have answered with "closeness", "reassured", and sometimes "disgusted with myself". Lately, I'd go with "totally blank".

Darling it's better down where it's wetter, take it from me! --- Sebastian
Fozzy is offline  
post #30 of 37 (permalink) Old 02-23-2017, 01:57 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2016
Posts: 180
Re: How would you answer this question?

Dehydrated.
moth-into-flame is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on Talk About Marriage, you must first register. Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

Important! Your username will be visible to the public next to anything you post and could show up in search engines like Google. If you are concerned about anonymity, PLEASE choose a username that will not be recognizable to anyone you know.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in









Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



Thread Tools Search this Thread
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search



Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Question: Kids, Parties and XWWs Decimated Life After Divorce 13 07-26-2016 12:06 AM
Cunilingus- A question for the ladies uxorious Sex in Marriage 28 06-08-2016 02:51 PM
Finance Strategy Question scooterM Considering Divorce or Separation 5 06-01-2016 08:26 PM

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome