In need of some advice, if i'm too jealous or what. - Talk About Marriage
The Men's Clubhouse Talk about life's dilemmas.

User Tag List

 8Likes
  • 1 Post By JCM0
  • 1 Post By Bananapeel
  • 4 Post By Keke24
  • 1 Post By sokillme
  • 1 Post By lifeistooshort
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
post #1 of 13 (permalink) Old 02-24-2017, 12:14 PM Thread Starter
Registered User
 
Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 1
In need of some advice, if i'm too jealous or what.

Alright the history first, My wife and I have been married for 4 going on 5 years now with a 2 year old and another due in 3 months. She does not have many "girl friends" and has always found more friendship in men. As for me I've always been a loner only 3 or 4 people I would call fiends. Around 8 months ago I had logged into her Skype so I could call her and saw that she had been video chatting with a guy for several hours everyday. A little further exploration into Skype and I found suggestive messages from both sides dating back a year. At this point I was upset and on fronted her about it and she sounded sincere and sorry, I also asked her to stop talking to that certain male and gave her another chance due to the fact that A. I love her and B. Our kid needed both parents So fast forward to present day, I found out that she has continued to talk to him through emails with the same suggestive themes, I am at a loss for word and do not know how to confront her again on the same situation. Is this just me being over jealous or am in the right to be very upset? I'll provide more info if you need it just needed to get this off my chest somewhere
JCM0 is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 13 (permalink) Old 02-24-2017, 12:26 PM
Member
 
Join Date: May 2015
Posts: 852
Re: In need of some advice, if i'm too jealous or what.

You need to do more than just get this off your chest. She's disrespecting you and your marriage, and probably has been lying to you this whole time.
Bananapeel is online now  
post #3 of 13 (permalink) Old 02-24-2017, 01:10 PM
Member
 
Keke24's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: Caribbean
Posts: 649
Re: In need of some advice, if i'm too jealous or what.

She got away with being "sorry and sincere"? OP, did it cross your mind that they were doing more than just talking during their Skype sessions? You don't share suggestive messages for a year and then get on Skype video to talk about the weather...
Keke24 is offline  
post #4 of 13 (permalink) Old 02-24-2017, 01:24 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 4,308
Re: In need of some advice, if i'm too jealous or what.

Quote:
Originally Posted by JCM0 View Post
Alright the history first, My wife and I have been married for 4 going on 5 years now with a 2 year old and another due in 3 months. She does not have many "girl friends" and has always found more friendship in men. As for me I've always been a loner only 3 or 4 people I would call fiends. Around 8 months ago I had logged into her Skype so I could call her and saw that she had been video chatting with a guy for several hours everyday. A little further exploration into Skype and I found suggestive messages from both sides dating back a year. At this point I was upset and on fronted her about it and she sounded sincere and sorry, I also asked her to stop talking to that certain male and gave her another chance due to the fact that A. I love her and B. Our kid needed both parents So fast forward to present day, I found out that she has continued to talk to him through emails with the same suggestive themes, I am at a loss for word and do not know how to confront her again on the same situation. Is this just me being over jealous or am in the right to be very upset? I'll provide more info if you need it just needed to get this off my chest somewhere
Nope not cool. Better start down the rabbit hole.
sokillme is online now  
post #5 of 13 (permalink) Old 02-24-2017, 07:58 PM
Member
 
lovelygirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 1,855
Re: In need of some advice, if i'm too jealous or what.

Unfortunately, you can't tell if they had video-sex (or cyber sex).
But what you can do is install a recorder on your computer to monitor the activity during the time she's using the computer when you're not around.

Does she work or is she a stay-at-home mom?
Are you providing her with emotional/physical needs?

Davelli0331: If a GNO, or alcohol, or an attractive coworker, or a past flame on FB were all that were needed for someone to cheat, then I think that person had that defect in their integrity all along. All they ever lacked was the opportunity to act on their lack of integrity and the circumstances required to rationalize it to themselves.
lovelygirl is offline  
post #6 of 13 (permalink) Old 02-24-2017, 08:14 PM
Member
 
katiecrna's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 1,659
Re: In need of some advice, if i'm too jealous or what.

What suggested themes? Do you know who this guy is?
katiecrna is online now  
post #7 of 13 (permalink) Old 02-24-2017, 08:31 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Texas
Posts: 2,025
Re: In need of some advice, if i'm too jealous or what.

Clearly she has not sopped, if not with the same guys then another person, your wife definitely has this need of validation that she seems only to find in other men...you have a potential bigger issues than just this, I suspect that her deceit might go deeper if not present future...so its not an issue of jealous it is exactly what the other here mention....you have a big problem on your hand.
Lostinthought61 is online now  
post #8 of 13 (permalink) Old 03-24-2017, 05:14 AM
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Ohio
Posts: 1,563
Re: In need of some advice, if i'm too jealous or what.

OP you need to realize things can be as bad as they seem, so many times people try to find reasons to not believe or face what's right in front of them. You caught your wife having an emotional affair, you told her to stop. So what does she do? She's goes further undercover and keeps right on going with the affair. The longer this has been going on the more likely it has evolved from an emotional to physical affair.

As others have said, time to go into protective mode, gather hard evidence, protect yourself financially. It's OK to want to work at saving your marriage, but I would still prepare for the worst. And as someone else said you may want to DNA the kids. I'm sure your first thought is no way the kids couldn't be mine, sadly it happens often enough that you need to worry, especially since your wife is currently pregnant and has had an ongoing secret relationship.
Cooper is offline  
post #9 of 13 (permalink) Old 03-25-2017, 06:20 AM
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: new england usa
Posts: 316
Re: In need of some advice, if i'm too jealous or what.

it would matter to me if this other man was local or long distance, like on the other side of the country. If long distance, it just shows she has a very strong libido, and needs to be sexually stimulated much more than i am doing.

There is still the aspect of her lying and hiding it, which is very bad for your marriage. If she had come to you and said..."i have these very strong fantasies and want to be able to cam with other people online when you are not here"....then you could have set up boundary rules to make you both happy.

If the guy is local, it means they are probably doing cybersex online, which probably led to physical contact and an ongoing sexual relationship...which is very serious indeed.

In any event, i would NOT confront her until i knew more. Get a keylogger for your computer, and a VAR where she uses the computer and one near where she uses her hone, and figure out what is going on.
Talker67 is offline  
post #10 of 13 (permalink) Old 03-25-2017, 09:31 AM
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: UK
Posts: 1,911
Re: In need of some advice, if i'm too jealous or what.

Quote:
Originally Posted by JCM0 View Post
Alright the history first, My wife and I have been married for 4 going on 5 years now with a 2 year old and another due in 3 months. She does not have many "girl friends" and has always found more friendship in men. As for me I've always been a loner only 3 or 4 people I would call fiends. Around 8 months ago I had logged into her Skype so I could call her and saw that she had been video chatting with a guy for several hours everyday. A little further exploration into Skype and I found suggestive messages from both sides dating back a year. At this point I was upset and on fronted her about it and she sounded sincere and sorry, I also asked her to stop talking to that certain male and gave her another chance due to the fact that A. I love her and B. Our kid needed both parents So fast forward to present day, I found out that she has continued to talk to him through emails with the same suggestive themes, I am at a loss for word and do not know how to confront her again on the same situation. Is this just me being over jealous or am in the right to be very upset? I'll provide more info if you need it just needed to get this off my chest somewhere
Yes you have EVERY right to be upset. She is being a very foolish lady and risking her marriage. Does she want her children to have a broken home?

You need to confront her again and discuss what boundaries are needed in your marriage with the opposite sex.She clearly hasnt got any of her own.

I would fight for your marriage and also confront the OM. Has he got a partner or is he married?
Diana7 is online now  
post #11 of 13 (permalink) Old 03-25-2017, 09:34 AM
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: UK
Posts: 1,911
Re: In need of some advice, if i'm too jealous or what.

Quote:
Originally Posted by TAM2013 View Post
Is this where the feminazi pile in and tell you you're a jealous, controlling, possessive little man with small penis? And that you need to work on the root of your insecurity? After all, she's entitled to talk with who she wants.

Get evidence. Get your finances safe. Don't be the one who moves out. DNA the kids.
If they say that they are idiots.
Diana7 is online now  
post #12 of 13 (permalink) Old 03-25-2017, 10:54 AM
Member
 
Marc878's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Southeast
Posts: 3,395
Re: In need of some advice, if i'm too jealous or what.

Quote:
Originally Posted by JCM0 View Post
Alright the history first, My wife and I have been married for 4 going on 5 years now with a 2 year old and another due in 3 months. She does not have many "girl friends" and has always found more friendship in men. As for me I've always been a loner only 3 or 4 people I would call fiends. Around 8 months ago I had logged into her Skype so I could call her and saw that she had been video chatting with a guy for several hours everyday. A little further exploration into Skype and I found suggestive messages from both sides dating back a year. At this point I was upset and on fronted her about it and she sounded sincere and sorry, I also asked her to stop talking to that certain male and gave her another chance due to the fact that A. I love her and B. Our kid needed both parents So fast forward to present day, I found out that she has continued to talk to him through emails with the same suggestive themes, I am at a loss for word and do not know how to confront her again on the same situation. Is this just me being over jealous or am in the right to be very upset? I'll provide more info if you need it just needed to get this off my chest somewhere
Let's see you caught your wife in at least an emotional affair with another man did absolutely nothing and expected what?

Oh and I still love her and the kids need her. Excuse to do nothing. How'd that work for you?

I'll bet he's married and you did nothing to inform his wife which helped hide their affair and enabled and emboldened them to continue, right?

In reality you should be surprised at what's happened. Did you think they'd stop just because you found out? Does your wife know you well enough that she can do what she wants and you'll not like it but do nothing?

You appear to be a weak passive guy who is more affraid to look controlling or jealous than to stand up and say I'll not tolerate my wife having an affair with another man. Will you be ok when they meet up for sex, if that haven't?

You need to wake the hell up. Why are you even asking questions about maybe looking jealous? Good god!
Marc878 is online now  
post #13 of 13 (permalink) Old 03-25-2017, 11:06 AM
Moderator
 
lifeistooshort's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 6,585
Re: In need of some advice, if i'm too jealous or what.

OP posted once a month ago and hasn't been back.

Good advice can't be given if he's not going to participate, so this thread is now closed.

If OP returns and wants it re-opened he can PM me.
lifeistooshort is online now  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Closed Thread

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on Talk About Marriage, you must first register. Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

Important! Your username will be visible to the public next to anything you post and could show up in search engines like Google. If you are concerned about anonymity, PLEASE choose a username that will not be recognizable to anyone you know.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in









Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



Thread Tools Search this Thread
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search



Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Marriage help- advice please D+L The Ladies' Lounge 18 03-26-2017 07:07 AM
Need reconcialtion advice please Anon. Reconciliation 13 06-16-2016 07:50 PM
Need advice mylife2469 The Ladies' Lounge 62 06-11-2016 08:06 PM
Husband put me unconcious during sex. Advice? AbbeyMarie General Relationship Discussion 40 05-27-2016 07:54 PM

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome