In need of some advice, if i'm too jealous or what. - Talk About Marriage
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post #1 of 9 (permalink) Old 02-24-2017, 12:14 PM Thread Starter
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In need of some advice, if i'm too jealous or what.

Alright the history first, My wife and I have been married for 4 going on 5 years now with a 2 year old and another due in 3 months. She does not have many "girl friends" and has always found more friendship in men. As for me I've always been a loner only 3 or 4 people I would call fiends. Around 8 months ago I had logged into her Skype so I could call her and saw that she had been video chatting with a guy for several hours everyday. A little further exploration into Skype and I found suggestive messages from both sides dating back a year. At this point I was upset and on fronted her about it and she sounded sincere and sorry, I also asked her to stop talking to that certain male and gave her another chance due to the fact that A. I love her and B. Our kid needed both parents So fast forward to present day, I found out that she has continued to talk to him through emails with the same suggestive themes, I am at a loss for word and do not know how to confront her again on the same situation. Is this just me being over jealous or am in the right to be very upset? I'll provide more info if you need it just needed to get this off my chest somewhere
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post #2 of 9 (permalink) Old 02-24-2017, 12:26 PM
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Re: In need of some advice, if i'm too jealous or what.

You need to do more than just get this off your chest. She's disrespecting you and your marriage, and probably has been lying to you this whole time.
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post #3 of 9 (permalink) Old 02-24-2017, 01:10 PM
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Re: In need of some advice, if i'm too jealous or what.

She got away with being "sorry and sincere"? OP, did it cross your mind that they were doing more than just talking during their Skype sessions? You don't share suggestive messages for a year and then get on Skype video to talk about the weather...
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post #4 of 9 (permalink) Old 02-24-2017, 01:24 PM
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Re: In need of some advice, if i'm too jealous or what.

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Originally Posted by JCM0 View Post
Alright the history first, My wife and I have been married for 4 going on 5 years now with a 2 year old and another due in 3 months. She does not have many "girl friends" and has always found more friendship in men. As for me I've always been a loner only 3 or 4 people I would call fiends. Around 8 months ago I had logged into her Skype so I could call her and saw that she had been video chatting with a guy for several hours everyday. A little further exploration into Skype and I found suggestive messages from both sides dating back a year. At this point I was upset and on fronted her about it and she sounded sincere and sorry, I also asked her to stop talking to that certain male and gave her another chance due to the fact that A. I love her and B. Our kid needed both parents So fast forward to present day, I found out that she has continued to talk to him through emails with the same suggestive themes, I am at a loss for word and do not know how to confront her again on the same situation. Is this just me being over jealous or am in the right to be very upset? I'll provide more info if you need it just needed to get this off my chest somewhere
Nope not cool. Better start down the rabbit hole.
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post #5 of 9 (permalink) Old 02-24-2017, 07:58 PM
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Re: In need of some advice, if i'm too jealous or what.

Unfortunately, you can't tell if they had video-sex (or cyber sex).
But what you can do is install a recorder on your computer to monitor the activity during the time she's using the computer when you're not around.

Does she work or is she a stay-at-home mom?
Are you providing her with emotional/physical needs?

Davelli0331: If a GNO, or alcohol, or an attractive coworker, or a past flame on FB were all that were needed for someone to cheat, then I think that person had that defect in their integrity all along. All they ever lacked was the opportunity to act on their lack of integrity and the circumstances required to rationalize it to themselves.
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post #6 of 9 (permalink) Old 02-24-2017, 08:14 PM
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Re: In need of some advice, if i'm too jealous or what.

What suggested themes? Do you know who this guy is?
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post #7 of 9 (permalink) Old 02-24-2017, 08:31 PM
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Re: In need of some advice, if i'm too jealous or what.

Clearly she has not sopped, if not with the same guys then another person, your wife definitely has this need of validation that she seems only to find in other men...you have a potential bigger issues than just this, I suspect that her deceit might go deeper if not present future...so its not an issue of jealous it is exactly what the other here mention....you have a big problem on your hand.
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post #8 of 9 (permalink) Old 03-20-2017, 09:31 AM
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Re: In need of some advice, if i'm too jealous or what.

Is this where the feminazi pile in and tell you you're a jealous, controlling, possessive little man with small penis? And that you need to work on the root of your insecurity? After all, she's entitled to talk with who she wants.

Get evidence. Get your finances safe. Don't be the one who moves out. DNA the kids.
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post #9 of 9 (permalink) Old Today, 05:14 AM
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Re: In need of some advice, if i'm too jealous or what.

OP you need to realize things can be as bad as they seem, so many times people try to find reasons to not believe or face what's right in front of them. You caught your wife having an emotional affair, you told her to stop. So what does she do? She's goes further undercover and keeps right on going with the affair. The longer this has been going on the more likely it has evolved from an emotional to physical affair.

As others have said, time to go into protective mode, gather hard evidence, protect yourself financially. It's OK to want to work at saving your marriage, but I would still prepare for the worst. And as someone else said you may want to DNA the kids. I'm sure your first thought is no way the kids couldn't be mine, sadly it happens often enough that you need to worry, especially since your wife is currently pregnant and has had an ongoing secret relationship.
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