Depressed - Talk About Marriage
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post #1 of 20 (permalink) Old 03-01-2017, 03:09 PM Thread Starter
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Depressed

I'm not sure what to do anymore. Nothing I seem to do can make her happy. All she does is yell about everything, never happy, always unsatisfied, and blames me for EVERYTHING. She lost her W2 because she was looking at it, and blamed me for it, even though I had all our other tax information including, but is not limited to the house info, my W2, and other 5 items as such. It gets so depressing that every day she is upset about something. I don't even want to come home. My problem is that we have a son, whom I love very much and I would hate to never be around him. She is from another country and her parents are very wealthy. I don't want to be around her anymore, but I don't want her to leave and take my son. I cry almost every night. I really need a friend.
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post #2 of 20 (permalink) Old 03-01-2017, 03:17 PM
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Re: Depressed

Can you start stashing cash? Plan your exit, slowly and carefully.

How's the sex and intimacy? Do you even have a marriage?
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post #3 of 20 (permalink) Old 03-01-2017, 03:19 PM
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Re: Depressed

Her W2 will probably show up. If now she can ask her employer for another copy.

Some more info would be helpful.

Does she work full time?

How long have the two of you been married? How old are the two of you?

I assume you are in the USA. Is that right?

You can prevent her from leaving with your son without your permission. So see a lawyer and find out what to do to prevent her from taking your son. When I was going through a divorce, I was concerned that my ex would take our son to the country his parents were from. So I had the court order that the my ex turn my son's passport over to his attorney. The attorney had to keep the password in a safe place where my ex could not get it. Neither could I.

If you get a divorce, you can probably get 50/50 custody.

Now, what does she do when she is upset? Does she scream? Does she throw things? Does she get violent?
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post #4 of 20 (permalink) Old 03-01-2017, 03:20 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Depressed

No, I don't feel like we do. I have been thinking about leaving, but I fear that she will take my boy.
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post #5 of 20 (permalink) Old 03-01-2017, 03:22 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Depressed

Yell, scream. Blames me. I have never felt so trapped and depressed before in my life.
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post #6 of 20 (permalink) Old 03-01-2017, 03:27 PM
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Re: Depressed

How old is your son?

How long have you been married?

How old are you and she?
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post #7 of 20 (permalink) Old 03-01-2017, 03:29 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Depressed

My son is one, and we've been married for over 2 years now. She changed after we got married, almost on the first day. I am 26 she 31
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post #8 of 20 (permalink) Old 03-01-2017, 03:29 PM
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Re: Depressed

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Originally Posted by Lonely2101 View Post
Yell, scream. Blames me. I have never felt so trapped and depressed before in my life.
When did all this start? Did something change at the time?

What percentage of the time is she fine and the two of you get along?

Have you suggested marriage counseling to her? If so, what does she say about that?
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post #9 of 20 (permalink) Old 03-01-2017, 03:33 PM
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Re: Depressed

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My son is one, and we've been married for over 2 years now. She changed after we got married, almost on the first day. I am 26 she 31
Was she pregnant when you two got married?
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post #10 of 20 (permalink) Old 03-01-2017, 03:38 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Depressed

No we didn't get pregnant until about 5 months into the marriage. We have been together now four almost 4.5 years and during the first few months of the relationship she was doing close to the same thing she is now, we broke up. After a few weeks we got back together and she was all about never doing that stuff again and she didn't. Until we got married. Within 2 days she reverted back to the person who I broke up with, but I assumed that it was due to having to leave her home country (we got married in her home country). And it has been rocky at best since.
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post #11 of 20 (permalink) Old 03-01-2017, 03:39 PM
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Re: Depressed

How long did you date her before you married her?

Does she act like this around others, or only in your home when no one is around?

How does she treat your son? Does she yell at him? hit him? etc?

I was wondering if it could be the pregnancy and/or PPD. Sounds like this is just what she is like in private. One or both of her parents might be like this.

You need to protect your son. Even if she is not treating him like this now, she probably will as he gets a bit older and more of his own person.

Get some hidden video cameras (search for spy cameras). Get what she is going on video so you can prove it.

That is step one.

And see a lawyer. If this is her 'in private' personality, I would not suggest you stay with her. But you need to protect your child first.
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post #12 of 20 (permalink) Old 03-01-2017, 03:43 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Depressed

Thank you. It makes my heart glad knowing that there are people out there that listen. Thank you
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post #13 of 20 (permalink) Old 03-01-2017, 03:49 PM
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Re: Depressed

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Originally Posted by Lonely2101 View Post
Thank you. It makes my heart glad knowing that there are people out there that listen. Thank you
I was married to a guy who acted a lot like you describe your wife acts.

The first time I filed for divorce I did so with the evidence of his abuse. I court/judge did not believe me when I said he was abusive. To protect my son I and to stop the divorce and go back with him. I had to build a case, get the evidence. I filed 4 years later when I knew beyond a doubt that I had a case that would protect my son.

My ex still got 40% custody. But the court ordered that he had to go to counseling in order to see our son.

I just want to verify.... does she ever throw things, break things, threaten physical violence or do physical violence?
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post #14 of 20 (permalink) Old 03-01-2017, 03:56 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Depressed

In extreme rage she will throw things, but she has never gotten violent. She yells at me about everything. As of now she is a great mom, but I'm concerned when he gets older, she will exhibit these same behaviors to him.
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post #15 of 20 (permalink) Old 03-01-2017, 04:19 PM
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Re: Depressed

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Originally Posted by Lonely2101 View Post
In extreme rage she will throw things, but she has never gotten violent. She yells at me about everything. As of now she is a great mom, but I'm concerned when he gets older, she will exhibit these same behaviors to him.
She will most likely treat your son in a similar manner. You are seeing how she handles people she thinks she has power over. The person she has the most power over is your son.

My ex did this with our son. When my son was old enough to talk, he used to beg me to not leave him with his father even when I went shopping. I asked him why. He said because when I was not around, his father treated him the same way his father threated me. That was a scary thing to hear. So I made sure that my son was not alone with his father.

Does she work full time? Or is she home alone with your son a lot?

Who does most of the taking care of your child when the two of you are home together?

This is even more of a reason to get the spy cameras in your home. See how she treats him when you are not there.

If she is throwing things she is being violent. This is the first level of domestic violence. If you can get her throwing things on video, you can file domestic violence charges against her.

Does she mostly throw your stuff around when she does this?

When she is yelling, etc, do you ever leave the room she is in? If so, what does she do if you try to leave the room and get away from her?

What do you do when she is yelling at you (and maybe throwing things)? Do you argue back? Do you yell back? Do you try to explain yourself?
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