Do men make fun of a wrong performed sex act? - Page 6 - Talk About Marriage
The Men's Clubhouse Talk about life's dilemmas.

User Tag List

 168Likes
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
post #76 of 129 (permalink) Old 03-21-2017, 12:33 AM
Member
 
TaDor's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 1,279
Re: Do men make fun of a wrong performed sex act?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Diana7 View Post
And many women wouldnt want a man who had slept with many women.
You'd be surprised... Players make cheaters out of many married women.
Oddly... Many women like a man who is handsome and skilled enough to get another woman but stays with them.

Supporting those who want to divorce or reconcile. Not every relationship is the same.

Last edited by TaDor; 03-28-2017 at 03:24 PM.
TaDor is online now  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #77 of 129 (permalink) Old 03-21-2017, 12:44 AM
Member
 
TaDor's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 1,279
Re: Do men make fun of a wrong performed sex act?

I forgot to add this, lovelygirl.

Remember how I said that I had sex with my wife a few hours after meeting her, about 6 years ago? And that to this day, thinking about that first kiss still gives both of us a goosebumps.
For the next few days after that first night - I was falling in love with her. I wasn't constantly thinking about sex with her - yet we both did some sexting. There was a lot more than just that. So during those days, I wasn't putting tons of thought into WHAT we did in the bedroom that first night. I was interested in her as a whole person. It took a while for her to believe that too or for me to admit it to myself. So yeah, we got married a few months after we met - which is against my own rules.

One of the problems with the "waiting game to prove you want me more than just sex" - is that you also put pressure on the guy - that YOU have a plan to get married, kids, etc. An agenda. Not attractive. Starting out casual with openness to go further - is less pressure on the both of you. When you keep a guy at bay for a few months, you're not seeing the true him for quite a while. He'll be at his "best behavior" for all those dates... then after finally having sex... is when it goes nowhere, and you wasted more of your time than his.

Having this "I think I love him. But will wait for 8 dates before he gets a breast feel, and 16+ dates before intercourse to prove he loves me." rarely actually works. I mean, yeah - it works at best with teenagers or people in near their 70s. But you're neither.

Supporting those who want to divorce or reconcile. Not every relationship is the same.

Last edited by TaDor; 03-26-2017 at 07:46 AM. Reason: corrected word
TaDor is online now  
post #78 of 129 (permalink) Old 03-21-2017, 02:33 AM
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 1,553
Re: Do men make fun of a wrong performed sex act?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Diana7 View Post
I know so many good happy marriages where the couple didnt have sex for ages or not till they married. Sex can be worked on once you have the right partner. Its not all about sex at the beginning and how 'good or 'bad' that was, its what it can become with time and sharing and effort. My husband has never had sex outside his first marriage and our marriage. I love and respect him for that and we have a great sex life which gets better and better. If he had pressured me for sex early I would have left. In fact I wouldn't have dated him at all if he he had had many partners.
Just as I know many good happy marriages where the couples did have sex just after meeting one another and through the first few dates. Likewise abstaining from sex for a long time or waiting until marriage also sees relationship dissolution, divorce and or misery.

As to sex lives getting better, many do just as many don't.

I can't imagine it would be much fun being a vanilla bride or groom, who has saved themselves for marriage. Only to discover that their partner wants to give them a golden shower.

Likewise I've never pressured any woman for sex either. As it turned out for me there was no shortage of women who offered me sex or asked me to have sex with them. So if I wanted sex, all I had to usually do was just say yes and then act accordingly.

What works for you wouldn't work for me and many others, just as what works for me wouldn't work for you and many others.

Isn't it terrific that we both live in countries where I can't impose my sexual norms upon you, just like you can't impose your sexual norms on me?
Personal is offline  
post #79 of 129 (permalink) Old 03-21-2017, 03:18 AM
Member
 
inmyprime's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: London
Posts: 1,092
Re: Do men make fun of a wrong performed sex act?

Quote:
Originally Posted by lovelygirl View Post
So..in reference to another thread in the "Sex" department where I posted, I thought I'd ask men (women are welcomed as well) over something that has been bothering me lately. I used to be more careless at a younger age...but now something has changed...

I'm 29, haven't really had any stable (or lasting) relationship. I've dated guys for 1-2 months and then it was over. The only lasting relationship that I had was 9 months (but with no sex at all and it was my first relationship when I was around 22).

With some of the guys that I've dated, I've had an OK sex [as I wasn't in love with any of them and I didn't feel comfortable.] These guys were interested ONLY in sex and given that I've always wanted more than that, I stopped seeing them. Also, I wouldn't give them any oral sex as I didn't consider them emotionally close to me. I see giving/receiving oral VERY intimate and I'd like to share it with someone that I'm in an exclusive relationship. So, out of all the guys that I've dated, I've given oral only to one guy...a couple of years ago. (Don't ask me why I date guys who want just sex. I actually want a stable relationship, but for some reason I always end up with the wrong guys... )

I think I am HD and If I could, I'd have no problem having sex everyday, I like to experiment with positions, I like to talk about sex and do things very openly with my partner.

The only problem that I've been having lately is what the guy might think of how I perform in sex with him. Am I good/bad? What he thinks....etc.
A few months ago I dated a guy who was into BSDM. He said he was very experienced in this type of sex but I was hesitant to have sex with him in the first place, as I didn't feel confident I'd satisfy him enough, starting even from oral [which for him was the minimum].
I was afraid he'd make fun of me for not performing right in the bedroom so I let him go at all. We went out several times and he was expecting us to try things, but then I didn't feel comfortable and ended things with him.

Unless I find someone stable, I feel like I will remain sexless out of fear for being considered "inexperienced" compared to the guys/girls of my age. Plus, I'm tired of meaningless dating. I want something real.
I swear, if I had a stable partner, I wouldn't mind giving him any kind of pleasure, although I know I need some more practice.

Were there times that you dated a girl you thought would be a "beast" in bed but turned out to be the opposite?
Did you make fun of her (in your mind?)
Did you feel disappointed?
Did you comment it with your friends?

These are my concerns. Probably, you'd make fun of them too haha..


I never really understood the concept of 'being good in bed'. Maybe it's becauseI never had many women (ok, I had mainly just the one, my wife, the rest was not serious and not proper PIV stuff..). Anyway, I feel that if you love & care for someone and also feel very attracted to them, sex cannot be bad (is this right?). Maybe it's because I'm usually dominating in the bedroom and just take what I want I am not sure. But to me it's just like a buffet: unless the food itself is bad, how can a buffet be bad when you mostly just pick & take what you want? (Obviously you need to know what partner wants & likes. But like in tango, doesn't the guy usually lead?)
As to making fun: not if you care about someone plus I don't discuss my sex life with anyone in detail (unless it's anonymous, like here).
Don't be self conscious. The beginning of a relationship is always careful steps & finding out about each other (so I have heard but eventually yo have to just be yourself and do what you are comfortable with. There shouldn't be an 'expectation' as such especially if you think you are HD anyway.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
inmyprime is online now  
post #80 of 129 (permalink) Old 03-21-2017, 04:10 AM
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: UK
Posts: 1,553
Re: Do men make fun of a wrong performed sex act?

Quote:
Originally Posted by TaDor View Post
I know a lot of happy marriages where couples didn't wait.. and again - you are on our 2nd marriage. So if your rules about sex and marriage apply - then you never would have gotten a divorced the first time. "Sex can be worked on afterwards"? What if that is not possible? Skipping sex is part of the vetting process. And if a person only had sex with 1-2 people, how would they KNOW good sex from bad sex? More women, than men - get married into bad sexual relationships. What if he's bad at it? What if he wants oral sex, but would never go down on a nasty woman? What if he wants anal... done to him? What if his penis is TOO big? 11" of man meat? Or what if he has a 2" pencil? What if she looks odd down there? What if he doesn't like the shape of her nipples? What if he has a right-nut that looks very strange or his penis points to the left and is uncut - so it punches her in a spot that hurts? But perhaps for another woman - would not have been an issue? What if either of them has an aroma that doesn't work? I particularly like the smell of my wife's sweat.

You can have sex without being pressured... why should expressing love through sexual interaction be acts of aggression?



Most very rich people are... look no further than the Orange cheater thing - who spoke of 10~12 yr old girls as sexual objects.

But in general - men are older than the women they are with for various reasons. We mature later, more stable, have a car, have more experience than just sticking it in, etc.
The reasons our first marriages ended wasn't to do with lack of sex or bad sex.

I was never attracted to older men, my husband is a year younger than me. I can see why rich men get younger women because they are wanting the lifestyle that money brings rather than the man himself, and of course if he is much older they will be still youngish when he dies, and very rich.

Of course you can know good sex from bad sex. Even if a couple have never had sex with anyone else they can learn and grow to have great sex together, and there is communication, you talk about these things when you are dating and in the marriage. You say what if he is 'bad' at it, that's why you talk, you communicate, you learn together what each other likes and doesn't like. I would far rather marry an inexperienced man who hasn't had many or any partners, than one who thinks its ok to have sex with many people.
Diana7 is offline  
post #81 of 129 (permalink) Old 03-21-2017, 04:13 AM
Member
 
inmyprime's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: London
Posts: 1,092
Re: Do men make fun of a wrong performed sex act?

Quote:
Originally Posted by TheTruthHurts View Post
The first night I met my W I told her I was a virgin because I was concerned (but I also wanted to get laid). She laughed and said so am I. Then the pressure was off and we took the time to develop a relationship and explore things together.
That's funny. Sometime before I had sex with my wife (we were 16 or so and it was obvious it was getting to that stage and I was getting very nervous) I told her I was a pro, with lots of experience and had sex with at least 300 models before meeting her. (Reality: I may have touched a boob. And I can't be 100% sure it wasn't my mother's). Since she didn't have any experience, I thought she might be more relaxed if she knew that I knew exactly what I was doing (wtf?).
It backfired. So when it came to it, I was poking around here and there and it didn't seem to want to go in easily. We did many attempts until I went soft eventually. So she thought it was all her fault...I told her the truth afterwards and felt so embarrassed that i broke up with her for two weeks (double wtf?).
So yeah. I have to somehow now teach my children not to be a moron...It's tough. Especially when you are a pro at being a moron.
inmyprime is online now  
post #82 of 129 (permalink) Old 03-21-2017, 04:29 AM
Member
 
inmyprime's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: London
Posts: 1,092
Re: Do men make fun of a wrong performed sex act?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Vinnydee View Post
Any sex is better than no sex. There are times when we tried something that just did not work but we never made fun of each other, just a failed experiment. We experimented a lot with each other and outsiders. Some things worked and some did not but I never made fun of a woman who tried. Some girls are better at certain things than others. What my wife lacked, our girlfriend made up for. Together they were everything you could ask for sexually. We experimented a lot and had a lot of laughs at failed or hopeless attempts at things we saw in porn.
This sounds like an amazing arrangement, I have to say. Can I ask what did the gf get out of it? I mean sex is not always 'just sex' and there's bonding an intimacy involved too. Was there never any jealousy? Has the gf never felt used? Was she much younger?
I just can't picture it working out long term (well I can picture many other things but somehow not as a sustainable arrangement for some reason).
(Sorry OP).
inmyprime is online now  
post #83 of 129 (permalink) Old 03-21-2017, 04:59 AM
Member
 
inmyprime's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: London
Posts: 1,092
Re: Do men make fun of a wrong performed sex act?

Quote:
Originally Posted by ConanHub View Post
She wasn't a virgin but I was far more experienced than her. We had sex within 10 hours of meeting but that is a dynamic I wouldn't recommend for everyone. Every woman I was ever with sexually had her clothing off and eagerly ready as fast as she could get me to agree.

Mrs. Conan was not different in that respect. She just wanted a hot f**k. The difference was how I felt about her. I new the moment I saw her. She took convincing to develop feelings for me. I basically screwed her into submission or sexed her so much and well that she fell for me but she had my heart at first sight.

I knew from the first that she was it so the remainder of our lives just needed worked out. Our first kiss sealed it for sure. She held nothing back and I will swear that I could feel her womb open up during it! Probably something to that because the only time we had unprotected sex in 4 years was when she conceived our son.


Our sex got better immediately after the first time because we did communicate, me mostly drawing her out to tell me how to please her as I already knew how to be pleased with a woman.

We had sex somewhere between 30 and 50 times the first week and somewhere in the middle she started howling like a dog in a good way.

Reasons can be different for two people succeeding in a relationship.

She just wanted a good time and I was willing to give her the best time of her life while trying to win her heart.

She was in it for the sex while I was in it for love at the start.

That dynamic has changed and grown over the years.

I became more interested in sex and she became more interested in love with me.

It will always grow and change because all living things do. Our marriage is alive so our sex and other affections continue to change and grow.

Self realization and confidence are vital characteristics for anyone to succeed in romance.

Your internal makeup and development will give you the greatest results.

If you are strong in who you are, you will attract more than one acceptable mate. When you find him, go for it.

There are no hard and fast rules. I literally used my physical assets and seduction skills to overwhelm her into my life. No one else stood a chance against me in that arena and I knew it. Not fair?

I don't care. I successfully seduced her and made her mine using what I had.

I wasn't rich or successful. I was a heartthrob / bad boy that oozed raw sex appeal.

If I had money, I would have blown outrageous amounts in my play for her.

Whatever it took to win her is what I was willing to pay.

I was poor and sexy so I used what I had.

Sorry for getting a bit long here. Just trying to paint a more accurate image.
Modesty always goes down well
inmyprime is online now  
post #84 of 129 (permalink) Old 03-21-2017, 11:16 AM
Member
 
ConanHub's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Abroad. Currently Arizona.
Posts: 7,587
Re: Do men make fun of a wrong performed sex act?

Quote:
Originally Posted by inmyprime View Post
Modesty always goes down well
LOL! I'm pragmatic.

No use wasting time when quick facts get the story done faster.

I'm actually not proud of my history. To me it is just data.

I am proud of my marriage though.
ConanHub is online now  
post #85 of 129 (permalink) Old 03-21-2017, 11:23 AM
Member
 
ConanHub's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Abroad. Currently Arizona.
Posts: 7,587
Re: Do men make fun of a wrong performed sex act?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Diana7 View Post
I know so many good happy marriages where the couple didnt have sex for ages or not till they married. Sex can be worked on once you have the right partner. Its not all about sex at the beginning and how 'good or 'bad' that was, its what it can become with time and sharing and effort. My husband has never had sex outside his first marriage and our marriage. I love and respect him for that and we have a great sex life which gets better and better. If he had pressured me for sex early I would have left. In fact I wouldn't have dated him at all if he he had had many partners.
I agree but sexual history is not necessarily a factor on whether a relationship will work.

I had a wild history with many partners and turned out to be a good husband and father.
ConanHub is online now  
post #86 of 129 (permalink) Old 03-21-2017, 11:33 AM
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 205
Re: Do men make fun of a wrong performed sex act?

Quote:
Originally Posted by GusPolinski View Post
Want to know what the guy who received the worst BJ in the history of sex said to himself afterward?

"Wow, that was AWESOME."
he said teeth hurt!
chillymorn69 is offline  
post #87 of 129 (permalink) Old 03-21-2017, 11:38 AM
Member
 
DustyDog's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: Edging slowly closer to the frozen tundra
Posts: 407
Re: Do men make fun of a wrong performed sex act?

I can't imagine judging anybody on the basis of their "performance" in bed. I'm old and been single more often than married, so I've had a few partners - far less than other guys, but not single digits either.

Based on my experience mostly, and things that women I knew but was not intimate with have told me, there's almost always a bit of nervousness, hope I'm good enough from both sides...but in the end, both people enjoy it.

I don't know that I'd be able to categorize any of my lovers as better or worse at it...more like each had different preferences and tastes. Two of them were very easy to bring to orgasm quickly via missionary and little else - and they had decided that's what they wanted, so that was the entire menu with them. In order to create variety, I had to learn techniques to actually slow them down so it would last more than a few minutes! More commonly, the joy came from being together and the orgasm (for either of us) was optional...a good time together would include both of us experiencing something a bit different.

So, no, I doubt a guy would make fun of anything...most guys are pretty happy that a woman's willing to engage on that level anyway. If said guy WOULD make fun - he ain't your type.

There are three kinds of business. Your business, my business and God's business. Whose business are you in? -Byron Katie
DustyDog is offline  
post #88 of 129 (permalink) Old 03-21-2017, 01:23 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 2,420
Re: Do men make fun of a wrong performed sex act?

Quote:
Originally Posted by chillymorn69 View Post
he said teeth hurt!


Sadly, chilly, most guys would just wince the whole time and take the bj.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
TheTruthHurts is offline  
post #89 of 129 (permalink) Old 03-21-2017, 02:55 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 205
Re: Do men make fun of a wrong performed sex act?

Quote:
Originally Posted by TheTruthHurts View Post
Sadly, chilly, most guys would just wince the whole time and take the bj.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
http://talkaboutmarriage.com/images/smilies/slap.gif
this is probably true.
chillymorn69 is offline  
post #90 of 129 (permalink) Old 03-25-2017, 06:10 AM
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: new england usa
Posts: 258
Re: Do men make fun of a wrong performed sex act?

a man complain of poorly done sex?

A tricky question. that is like when your wife says "do these jeans make my ass look fat?"

You want to consider your wording VERY CAREFULLY.
Talker67 is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on Talk About Marriage, you must first register. Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

Important! Your username will be visible to the public next to anything you post and could show up in search engines like Google. If you are concerned about anonymity, PLEASE choose a username that will not be recognizable to anyone you know.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in









Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



Thread Tools Search this Thread
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search



Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Sex and dating xMadame Sex in Marriage 119 04-13-2017 08:12 AM
Why do men hold off on having sex too soon? ne9907 The Men's Clubhouse 100 10-20-2016 05:18 PM
The purpose of why men desire sex with a spouse? badsanta Sex in Marriage 1449 07-12-2016 12:17 PM
Ways to make my husband more open-minded when it comes to sex? MrsAldi Sex in Marriage 119 05-18-2016 04:00 PM
What to do? Ray83 Sex in Marriage 32 12-31-2015 09:44 AM

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome