Re: Men Doing More Chores Increases Divorce?
This whole division of housework thing is not easy to measure!!!
I used to do the dishes. My wife objected to the presence of a dish drainer, so she disposed of it. So, her method is to wash a dish, rinse a dish, turn off the water, dry it with a towel, then put away. Then pick up next dirty dish. She can have her method if she wishes...but I don't wish to spend my time that way. I also used to do the dishes as soon as I dirtied them. If I walk up to a sink and it's got dishes from the last three meals she ate - gosh, that seems like a lot to do all at once. So, I've been prohibited from doing this particular job in the manner that I deem is efficient, for me. Now that I work from home, I do dishes - mine, the moment they're dirty and then they're put away.
In 17 years, I've never seen her clean a window, wash a floor, dust a ceiling, clean the high horizontal surfaces (door frames, refrigerator and cabinet tops...). Nor does she clean "cleaning equipment". Vacuum cleaners require periodic disassembly (remove bag, belts, other consumer-accessible bits and use towel/water to get out the crud, or the machine won't last long.). If your plumbing fixtures get mineral deposits on them, so does your washing machine, so it needs cleaning. Nope, she doesn't do that - but complains when the washing machine looks icky or the vacuum cleaner starts spraying dust out the bag, torn by grit.
I never had a cleaning schedule when single...but once a week, I'd do a survey of my place and visible problems were dealt with. I prefer an uncluttered clean looking place, but fall short of hospital sanitary. So...I basically do the cleaning I'd do if it were just me, since I appear to be more picky than her anyway.
On the interesting/charming/honorable side, my wife changes the oil in the cars. Why? To honor her dad. He died when she was young, and her favorite activity was helping him work on the cars.
There are things she does for which I'm grateful. I do not like shopping - of any kind. Even if it's for my own hobbies, I dislike the act of selecting products, ordering them, paying for them, entering the expense info in the database for tax purposes...etc. I still have to do that where my business is concerned. But she has totally freed me from grocery shopping (thank someone above!). I'm also excused from cooking, my reasoning being that we don't cook. She has an obsession with "eating simply", which means open a can of veggies, pour it out and microwave it. I used to be a good cook, but there's nothing I might cook that would suit her definition of "food". Hmmm...I did like cooking...and don't do it any more. I should throw dinner parties and cook for guests...she'll just watch, I suspect.
Now, a previous significant other - had been mentally abused by her mom as a child, that there MUST be weekly cleanings and it was a LONG list. And she loved the use of chemicals. Made my athsma worse and I was REQUIRED to participate. When I think of the thick layers of furniture wax built up on that walnut coffee table she cherished, and how much more the wood grain would have stood out if she actually cleaned it instead of encased it...
There are three kinds of business. Your business, my business and God's business. Whose business are you in? -Byron Katie