Re: Men Doing More Chores Increases Divorce?
I have more respect for this than I used to. Not because I thought it unimportant before, but I thought it was what man typically provided.
I recently returned to Europe from the USA. Since then, I have had one lady with whom I was very close tell me that if I offered she would marry me immediately (though a attractive lady in her early twenties marrying a forty year old man is probably a bad idea). A lady I was seeing, but had been rather flakey try to move to Europe to be with me and two letters from women I dated saying I changed their lives. The point is, I provided leadership and was sensitive in the better way (to their feelings rather than my own about theirs). This does suggest this trait is rarer than I had assumed (I am not getting carried away - I am healthy, good looking and employed, if that changed so would everything else).
European men might be better husbands than American men. Not sure if this is true, but it does make me wonder.
Glad to see you understand the importance of the right kind of sensitivity.
Disappointed you seem to have broken some hearts, though.
I would still hope that more men are willing to lay down their lies for their wives. I think they have to play a role of being an active wife as much as they are reasonably able.
I think you make a similar mistake. You almost seem dismissive of what you bring to the marriage. The point is you are capable of appreciating what your husband brings and you respect it. You also show that through your actions. Just as I assumed that men pretty much always provide emotional leadership, you tend to assume what you do is commonplace - I am not sure it is. This does not mean that women of girls should just be abandoned, just that they also choose to make a significant contribution. Of course, this is just my impression.
This is flattering, MTO, but I do not think I bring more than other wives I know do. I could easily be persuaded I bring less.
My husband is an undeserved gift in my life. I am not sure why he loves me so much, but I am very grateful he does.
One of the deepest feminine pleasures is when a man stands full, present, and unreactive in the midst of his woman's emotional storms. When he stays present with her, and loves her through the layers of wildness and closure, then she feels his trustability, and she can relax. -- David Deida, The Way of the Superior Man